oh my heck

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be prepared. some are brutal.

7 in the 4th

Turnovers that is. Are you kidding me? How on earth were we supposed to grab hold of the coveted title when there are SEVEN turnovers in the 4th quarter?! And Nash, 3 of his own in the last 2 minutes... could he not hear me yelling at him to chill out?! Panic, my friends. Panic set in and all was lost. As I sat here in my family room watching a pretty good game with Cooper, and then myself, I held onto hope. I really did. I started texting Denten toward the end, who was watching on some small, very inadequate TV on the rez, I so wished he were here with me- Suns games are more fun with him. I displayed my sincere dislike for the hack-a-shaq manuver- brilliant, but not helping. Dent letting me know that the Suns don't deserve to win. Ever the realist, that one. Heartbreaking. This was the year. And to lose to the likes of Robert Horrey and Tim Duncan- uuggh.

Beckham: 3 months

I believe we have come full circle. Maybe just I have come full circle, but either way, I'm grateful this milestone has arrived. As I look back on my feelings for this baby just after he was born, I was completely in love with him. I felt connected to him. I never stopped loving Beckham, but there was a time in between then and now that we lost "the connection." I felt as though I was simply going through the motions, so to speak. He would sleep, eat, get changed, and cry. And cry. And cry. The crying did not drive me up the wall as it did Denten (he wasn't around it as often as I was and therefore did not build up the immunity to the screaming), but it was never a calming pleasant sound, if you will.

A few things have contributed to the emergence of the chubby, much happier baby we have today. First, and call me and my schedules crazy... is the fact that he eats and naps at predictable times each day. I know when he is tired and if for some reason he is upset and it's not naptime, it's fairly easy to figure out what else is bothering him. Second, the regulation of medication and formula to ease the discomfort of reflux. It's amazing what consistency can accomplish! And finally, I simply think he's had a little time to adjust in the world. His body has matured a little, his digestive system has things figured out and he realized that we love him just as much as number one and two.

We are again back to the place where he looks at me and smiles and completely melts my heart. It also helps that he's fashioned some terrific cheeks good for smooches. so as we cross this three-month point in time, let me once again reiterate that I love this little miracle.. now, enough about me.

Beckham has an extra chin that is nearly the size of his original. Can't miss it, it's out there, loud and proud.

Beckham is extremely loved by his siblings, especially Seneca. She really can't get enough of him. We're working on "gentle."

Cooper has a special voice, reserved all for Beckham. It is high in pitch and usually goes something like this: "Hi little Beckham! Let's see a cute smile! Mom! He smiled at me, he's so happy!"

Little Bex sleeps on his tummy. He sleeps all night long, has for a while now, but he's got to be on his stomach. The kid is not a back sleeper and heaven help us when he learns to roll over and gets stuck there.

He's starting to babble a little at us and it's fun to hear those sweet baby sounds again... as if they ever left this house..

One final note about the little guy. While he is definately a happier kid these days, generally he is not easy to read. My dad says he keeps his cards close. It's not easy to see what's going on behind those big eyes, it's like he's keeping a secret and he's not telling.

All in all, we're glad to have him around, I mean, what would life be if I only had to make one trip to the car to load up kids?! I love you madly Bex and I'm glad "we're back."

Before I forget

I've got to record some of the funny things that come out of Cooper's mouth.

Last night, making dinner.... "I would like to be the chef please, my dear." Said with a completely straight face.

This morning when asking for a snack. "I'm so very hungry." Said with such a sad tone of voice.

While I'm recording what's being said around here, Seneca, at 11 months is proficient at: da-da, uh-oh, ok and gigglegigglegiggle. Normally I'd really be pulling for mama to come before dada, but seeing dent's face when she says it and smiles at him is pretty priceless.

As for Beckham, he's finally making happy sounds at us, crying a lot less and smiling a lot more. that sure makes life enjoyable around here!

Tagged: on my mind

A while ago Maren (aka the silly witch) tagged me. I'm not going back to see what the actual assignment was, but I believe it was to list seven random things about yourself. I'm taking this challenge as an opportunity to empty my head of the things swirling around inside. Here goes... seven of the topics that have been on my mind:

1. Coupons, deals and saving moola. You may roll your eyes, but I really have saved a ton of money this month on my household items using coupons and being familiar with the deals that are out there, both in my local stores and online. I have a system, but it is still evolving and organization is what is going to make or break this for me. Tonight's project: get everything in it's place so my system will work more efficiently for me.

2. Angels. We've all got them, sometimes I can feel them closer than at other times, but I know they're always there. I've been grateful for them this week- I've exchanged some emails with a sister in our ward who has needed hers recently and it's comforting to know that in addition to the support of our ward family, she's got heavenly help around her and her family. I'm also grateful for Dylan and Shellie's angels, both who have stepped up big time this last week.

3. Gourmet Group. My turn next month. Getting our menu, decor, invites, etc. planned was so daunting to me until I actually started the process. I've enjoyed the "virtual" planning Sandi and I have done and am really excited about the evening. I'm pleased with our food choices and the attitude in which my partner brings to the event- it's going to be fabulous!

4. Teaching relief society Sunday. I really wasn't excited about my topic and voiced that to Denten and was promptly told that I didn't have the right attitude. Sometimes my words seem to come back and hit me in the face! Anyway, after a little more studying and prayer I have received the inspiration I was waiting for. And yes, it came to me during a nap. All the more reason to fit naps into my day if you ask me! I hope all the ideas I have in my head come together and will be just what our sisters need this week.

5. BBQ Friday. We are hosting a bbq for our neighbors this weekend and while normally I love a party, I had a hard time getting excited about this, but again, it just took a little planning and I'm good to go. Some are from our ward and some aren't and I've been looking for an opportunity to bring a few of them together and reconnect with my neighbors, so hopefully it will be great. At least there will be good food and good company and if we're lucky, the water will be warm enough to take a dip!

6. My shelf project. visit shellie's blog and you'll see a picture. I'm copying her. yes, again. why reinvent the wheel when she's already proved to be brilliant?! I need more storage space for the excess I'm accumulating (see numero uno) so I'm building shelves in our guest room closet. Guests: you're still welcome to come, your clothes will just be hanging next to my food storage! Also, when I say "I'm building," I really mean either Shellie or Denten is building.. I'm a great assistant, supervisor and cheerleader. We'll see which one I can rope into the project first!

7. Kids. I've had a few different people's children here this week and while I've decided it's probably good I don't have five or six of my own, all under 4, it's been fun. It's fun to see Seneca interact with others her own size and Cooper's imagination do new things with new friends. It's also so amazing when three babies are all sleeping at the same time and the two big kids are playing quietly... ah, success.

There you go- all that's been in my head this week. Denten's maybe-or-maybe-not job should probably be on the list, but honestly I haven't been thinking about it much. He (and we) will end up just where we should be and whichever direction we go, I'm sure it will be an adventure! Thanks Maren! I tag Harker, Deirdre, and Treona. Have at it girls!

Scatterbrain

I had a BBQ to attend Saturday evening and while I knew it was approaching, I could not get it together enough to prepare something to contribute.

Cooper was assigned to give a talk in Primary today and it escaped my brain until late Saturday evening.

I had teacher inservice this evening and while our discussion went well, I did not feel as prepared as I would have liked.

I had all morning Saturday to get my upstairs vacuumed, but found myself flitting from task to task and it never happened.

I have food in my home for several meals, yet dinnertime has come and gone around here the last few nights without anything substantial prepared.

I've known in the back of my mind that laundry needed to be done, and while the clothes got pushed through, Denten had to pull clean clothes out of the dryer twice this week. Why is it so hard for them to find a home once they've been washed?

Sending a request into the universe: Please bring my brain back. I feel scattered and disorganized. Not a good combination for me. This last week was a heavy and hectic one, but I need to get things pulled together around here so I can accomplish all I'd like to this week. So as I sleep tonight, please, brain, come home to me.

Cooper's Talk in Primary

Question/ Answer version. Topic: The prophet teaches us to forgive and love one another.

Me: When Nephi and his family were travelling on the ocean, what were they riding in?

Cooper: A boat.

Me: Where were they going?

Cooper: To the Promised Land

Me: What did Laman and Lemuel do on the boat?

Cooper: They tied Nephi up.

Me: Was that nice?

C: No.

Me: When they finally untied Nephi, was he mad?

C: No.

Me: What did he do?

C: He forgave them

Me: Who else forgave them?

C: Jesus

Me: Who is our prophet today?

C: President Monson

Me: What does he teach us?

C: To forgive and love each other. I am grateful for my family, friends and primary. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Considering Cooper's mother has been a space cadet this week and forgot about the assignment to talk in Primary until Saturday night, we'll call this one a success!

Little Dylan

Dylan gave everyone a scare this afternoon as he quit breathing on his own for a short while. Again, updates can be found here. I am continually amazed at the support flowing to Emily and Brandon from their family, friends and our ward. This is a special little guy and has shown how tough he is. My heart is heavy and optimistic at the same time.

Blessings in Tragedy?

I've been struggling a bit with how to record my feelings about yesterday's accident. Emily's son Dylan was hit by a car and my emotions have ranged from fear to heartache and gratitude. I'm not going to give a rundown of his medical condition here, but you may check emily's blog for updates.

My heart is very heavy for all who were involved in the accident. I feel like I walk a thin line as I look for the positives in this situation. I do not mean to be insensitive to those involved in Dylan's accident, but I was overwhelmingly grateful for the blessings I saw yesterday.

We had a hard time tracking down Dylan's parents as he was on his way to the hospital and I was grateful for the women who stepped in and made calls all over the valley to get a hold of emily. I am grateful that Shellie was not alone when this happened. I'm grateful the there was a charged cell phone on the scene. I'm grateful for the prompt response of the paramedics and the medical care he has received. I'm grateful his injuries were not worse than they were, because they could have easily been much, much worse.

Most of all, I'm grateful for the network of women that surround me, most of them stay-at-home moms who dropped anything and everything to take care of extra children, make phone calls, make sure emily wasn't alone, coordinate getting people fed and making sure the stephens family had everything they needed. I am a part of an incredibly supportive ward family and it has amazed me the love and support flowing toward emily and brandon right now. Maybe this is more apparant to me seeing as like the stephens we do not have our extended family in the immediate area and it is so comforting to know that no one goes through tragedy alone. I hope that emily and brandon can feel the love and support for them as well as the peace Heavenly Father has to offer. So while the road to recovery for little Dylan is going to be long, he's not alone and I'm grateful for that.

Boog's and his bull

For those of you who know rodeo, you may agree with Ben that this is a small bull, but frankly I'm impressed with most anyone who will willingly sit themselves on one of these animals. My brother the bull-rider... photos courtesy of Denten.

And as for those magical eight seconds? He was at 7.3 before he found himself on the ground. Not bad boogs.

Beckham's Blessing

Denten blessed Beckham at my parent's home while we were in Utah last month... here are a few snapshots of our family at this point in time.Bex holds his cards close, not easily revealing what's going on behind those big eyes.

The incredible men in Beckham's life: Uncle Ben, Grandpa Ben, Bex, Dad, Grandpa Robinson, Uncle Drew

 

 

March 08: Paragonah

This first photo isn't in Paragonah, but I'm including it anyway. This is Cooper watching his Uncle Drew warm up during his tournament in Kansas.

Cooper and Landon- Grandpa commented that it's probably a good thing these two don't live closer to each other... the town would know they existed! They were loud and wild as could be, but had so much fun with each other!

Cheyanne and Beckham

Helping Grandpa with the sheep

A work in progress

Be patient as you visit this site in the next few days. It's under construction. Needing a makeover. If only I had hours at a time to get it right... but you see I have these things called children and believe it or not, they are actually more of a priority than blogging. So this little project will happen a little at at time, but for now, a nap. Adios.

High Standards!

Me: Cooper, please go make your bed.

Cooper: But I want a Porche this morning.

Me: What?

Cooper: I want a Porche this morning, a small fast one.


Hm. Talk about high expectations! Thanks a lot Grandpa.

Stop the talking and start the squawking!

That was for nick.
This was Bon Jovi's line as he ended his opening dialogue with us and started slammin' on his guitar...it was awesome! As much as I feel like I have a hangover this morning (no, no actual alcohol was involved), I so needed that last night. Who knew a rock concert was all a stay-at-home mom needed to get back in the game?!

My observations:

- Daughtry has only improved since his AI days- what can I say, I've got a thing for bald guys! He's a pretty intense performer and a perfect opener for Mr. Bon Jovi.

- Speaking of Jon, he was different than Denten or I anticipated. He was great, don't get me wrong, but there were elements to him I wasn't familiar with. First, he's a little cheesy. And he's bigger than I remember. Granted, I've never actually been that close to him before, but I remember a small, tight little guy.. perhaps it's age.

- The man can not dance. He can sing, play the guitar, flirt with the camera like it's nobody's business and put on a fantastic show, but really, when he moves I am taken right back to aerobics class. Seeing as I also lack this talent, I appreciated the fact that Denten says I move just like Bon Jovi.

-His hair was a little too short- yeah, this goes against my bald guy thing, but if it's gonna be long, let it at least flop around a little when you're working out on stage! His smile, however, was still pretty. Yes, pretty. He melted the hearts of more than one middle-aged woman in the audience.

- Richie Sambora can play the guitar. I mean really play. I've never had a desire to sit and listen to the electric guitar, but this guy has skills and it was awesome watching him play. He looks a bit like an old guy, but hey, judging by the age of the women flaunting their breasts at him, he's been around a while!

- We had awesome seats, despite the fact that we were positioned "behind the stage." We were closer to the performers than anyone else save the drooling women in the first 10 rows on the floor. When you're close enough to see them sweat, you now you're in a good spot. We also had a great view of the majority of the audience and that in itself was fantastic entertainment. I asked denten if he would be offended if I had worn a "Mrs. Bon Jovi" shirt- he said it would be fine. He'd divorce me, sue me for all my husband's money and live happily ever after. Hm. I'll work on that. My little heart was not, however, going pitter-pat as so many in attendance. Granted they were all at least 15 years older than me and swooning like a 13 year old.

- My ears were ringing all night, but the electricity in that place was fantastic. If you desire another's opinion on the evening, you may check out Shellie, Amy G., Alicia or Janna... all in all, I had a great time! And as for Shellie's "moment," I'll let her have it, although I'm sure the eye contact was directed unmistakably toward yours truly.

Friday

I'm grateful for the following things that are slowly bringing my mojo back:

- Seneca's thighs. Seriously, they are awesome

- Chasing great deals. I may not be as proficient at this as Ashlee is, but in the last week I have saved a lot of money combining things on sale and coupons... when the register says I owe $65 and I end up walking out of the store paying .35 (that's 35 cents my friends) , it is a lovely feeling!

- jumping around in my kitchen flipping my hair and trying my darndest to remember enough of the words to bon jovi to sound good as I belt it out and watching my children go from thinking I'm crazy to bouncing around with me. Bon Jovi and Daughtry descend on the jobing.com arena tonight in glendale and while if on my own I would never attend this particular event, I have enough persuasive friends and one willing husband to make it happen. If nothing else, it will be a welcome night out with denten.

- Lindsay Sheffer. She is coming to watch the kids tonight and she is good enough to be a bribe for at least two days. "I hope you can take a great nap today so Lindsay can come tonight." It works like a charm... Cooper loves her.

- The anticipation of an unscheduled Saturday with Denten home. We have lots of work to do to get the backyard and pool ready and cleaned up, but it will be so nice to be home working together tomorrow.

the mood is shifting

It's amazing what a little time and a few kind words can do for one's perspective. I'm not sure how to explain my funk, but at least I'm to a point today that I know we'll all survive. I told Denten last night that I felt like I'd lost my mojo. I don't really even know what mojo is, but mine is gone along with any semblance of motivation, organization or sanity. While exhuastion is still the frontrunner, there is a little peace creeping in. Wouldn't it be terrific to have two entire days without any children or outside responsibilities? One to accomplish all I'd like to around here and the next one to relax and recouperate. Anyway, enough dreaming. As emily kindly reminded me... when you get to the end of your rope.. tie a knot and hang on!

I am exhausted; physically, emotionally and mentally. I have so much spinning around in my head that it's driving me crazy. My shoulders and neck are tight and achy and the headache at the base of my skull is screaming at me to lay down. The tears are so close to the surface that I can't see straight. I know I have help with me today because when I open my mouth to talk to my children, the words and tone of voice are sweet and pleasant; patient, even, but I am not feeling it. I've got a little anger, a little frustration and a lot of tired going on.

I've got overwhelming waves flooding through me. I woke up so heavy that the day started off with a good cry. Wondering how exactly we were going to make it through this day. Wishing with all my might that a sick day were an option; a chance to call in and crawl back under the covers. Praying for the strength to accomplish all I desire today and still take care of this family. All but completely losing it when Denten walked out the door this morning.

One thing at a time, that's what my mom would say. Remember that I am blessed beyond belief. Hoping this dark cloud will break up so I can quit crying today. Don't comment, this one's just for me; no sympathy requested, just needing the heaviness to end.

Back in the Land of the Living

So there's a grocery store in our area that I have avoided as much as possible since we moved here. The time I went there, it left me with a bad impression... dirty, unorganized and I felt very out of place there. As I have been reevaluating my shopping habits and what I'm spending, I found that this particular store had the best deals on the things I needed this week. I decided I'd give it another try, so armed with two children, my list and my coupons, I made another attempt this morning. I was determined this experience would be better than the last and I was pleasantly rewarded. The store was not at all crowded, it was clean and while it isn't laid out as well as some of the others I frequent, I found everything I needed fairly easily. The best part, however, was the customer service. Everyone I encountered in the store was very pleasant, genuinely interested in assisting me in finding the things I was shopping for. My checkout girl was so happy to help me and I left feeling great that I had saved money and had such a great experience. I will definately return and shop there again.

As I sort through our mountains of laundry that always accompany the return home, I am grateful for the zillions of clothes that we have, and that I don't have to wash them by hand!

I am grateful for the hope that Seneca and Cooper will eventually return to local time and not be awake and rearing to go at 6:00 a.m.!

I am grateful for the opportunity I am having to practice my patience as we wait to see if Denten's professional path is going to take another direction.

I am grateful dinner showed up at my door tonight, right on time and requiring no effort on my part!

I am grateful for a backyard, small as it may be, and that Cooper has a wonderful time out there all by himself; well himself and his "boys." Ah, the joy of imaginary friends.

Grateful for a change of pace

We spent last week in Utah and in keeping with Ashlee's comments regarding honest blogs, I'll say that I don't feel it was a true vacation, but it was a great break from my daily routine at home. Pictures will be added eventually.

A few days in Paragonah with Denten's grandparents make me grateful for

• Grandma's electric blanket (whoever invented these was genious)
• effortless hot water
• stretching out in bed
• pop lights
• D's camera
• honest, enlightening conversation
• new knowledge and understanding about grandma delores' and grandpa dale's history
• the character that hard work builds
• the farm that demands hard work

Being back on Charleston Lane will always feel like home. While there I enjoyed a few more blessings:

- early quiet mornings
- a date with Denten
- Beckham sleeping through the night (hooray!)
- Lewis, the best dog ever. between Cooper and Seneca, he's probably so grateful for a little peace!
- a theraputic hot shower
- lunch with Dad at Grand America, specifically the sauteed shrimp
- inspiring conversation
- grandpa's bedtime stories
- a great backyard
- mom's taco soup
- Uncle Ben
- a dark quiet place to sleep
- mom and dad's patience with my children
- a mother who knows when I need a break even before I do

Denten blessed little Beckham at my parent's home last week. It was a beautiful, thorough blessing from our Father in Heaven that we were able to share with our parents.

We then moved to Lehi for a couple of nights, and there I was grateful for

- Dianna's popcorn, and her willingness to make it just for me!
- Betty's blanket. I have a favorite blanket at the Robinson's house. It's warm and soft and I love it. I have recently learned that one of Dent's former lady friends made it for him! While I'm certainly glad she didn't end up with Denten, I'm also glad she left the blanket behind!
- Grandma and grandpa and cooper outside. the basketball hoop, the bike and the endless racing.
- Cooper's boundless energy
- additional adults to care for my children
- time with Uncle Drew

I also read a beautiful book this week, "The Message," by Lance Richardson. A testament to the fact that we have angels watching over us at all times. So similar to my mother's story, it was an interesting read for me.

I am also grateful for Dutch and his ability to take us to see our family and function properly during our trip. He's so comfortable to take a road trip in, we love him!