Grateful

Today I'm grateful for...

• the resources I have all around me that help me continue to learn and grow.
• the fact that even as I approach 30 years old, the best me is yet to emerge.
• the opportunity for a vacation!
• the fact that my kids get to spent the next two weeks with grandparents, all kinds, all who love them dearly.
• children who play well together and laugh a lot
• a husband who is a great communicator
• time in my day to work on personal projects
• great health, for all of us
• my ambition and desire to continue to make my life the way I know it can be
• friends who support me in this journey

Grateful

Saturday Night

Saturday Night at Chase Field

Highlights:

just me and dent. no kids.
tickets were free.
awesome seats... 24 rows from home plate!
3 homeruns
killed the marlins 7-1 (I have something against sports teams from florida)
saw misty may-treanor in person... and her gold medal
reveled in the fact that we had better seats than mrs. may-treanor

Baseball games are typically social events for me. The game is usually too slow to stay tuned in the entire time... however fly balls flying overhead at regular intervals keeps one's attention! The game was fast-paced and I was close enough to see what was happening. It was fun to have a few hours simply to engage in america's favorite past time and sit with denten. And be amused at all of the beer-guzzling fans surrounding us. It was also kind of cool to see queen of the beach volley-ball court there, fresh from Beijing. We got a few pics, but none worth posting.

We followed the game with a trip by Redbox (love that) for "The Other Bolyn Girl." If that story weren't true, I would call the creator of the storyline sick and twisted. Seeing as it was pretty factual, I really liked it. It made me want to walk through the Tower of London again and listen closer to my tour guide. Who doesn't love a good English scandal?!
It was a great evening, much needed and much appreciated.

Making up the Difference.

I've had a few good reminders this week that I want to record. I'm reading a new book by Hilary Weeks..if you're at all associated with Deseret Book you've seen it. They are not ones to shy away from over-marketing a product. I'll leave it at that.

Anyway, she's got some great thoughts and has an casual writing style that is easy to read. I've felt a little overwhelmed by a few things this week- nothing major, just being a mom and life in general. Scripture study is one of those things that is hard for me to be consistent with or feel that I'm doing enough of. Sister weeks gives a good, albeit cheesy, analogy:

Scripture study is like cinnamon. It doesn't take very much cinnamon to flavor a
whole recipe and make it taste good. It takes just a little scripture study to
make our whole day good. Heavenly Father knows we don't have hours to spend studying each day. He will magnify the effort we make. He will teach us and fill us with power as we dedicate time each day to studying and pondering his word.

That is very comforting to me.
I've also had days (namely, yesterday) where I felt I had hit my limit. You know what I mean. Done, had it. Love these children but gotta get away. Except that it's only 4:00 and dad isn't due home for at least three hours. Sister Weeks describes a few of these days and says,

Sometimes we don't have enough. We don't have enough time, energy, money,
patience, willpower, talent- you name it. When it feels as if we will never be
equal to the challenge, we can still be grateful for the little we do have....
He can bless us, magnify us and multiply us! He can help us be more and
accomplish more than we ever could on our own. When you don't think you can run,
walk, or crawl one more step, put things in the Lord's hands and He'll make up
the difference. He will give you the strength and endurance you need to finish
the race.

That's about where we were at yesterday. Heaven knew I was done. He'd been told several times that I'd had about all I could handle. He stepped right in and took over because I was seriously considering ditching this joint. A power beyond my mortal one took control and amazingly, we survived. Man, I'm glad I have a back-up. I'm grateful that I know I can call on my Heavenly Father and my angels and they're right there waiting. I think it's common for women to feel that they aren't enough, that they aren't measuring up to some ideal in their head. The fact is that we're all we need to be when we let Heaven's help in. We do all we can do and He'll make up the difference. It doesn't matter the issue or project- if it's important to us, it's important to Him. I'm grateful for that.

I'm legal!

No, that's not me. And no, I'm not 21... but I am officially licensed to drive in the state of Arizona! Considering I've been living here for three years and breaking the law for two, it was about time. Thanks to my concerned visiting teacher Kim, I now am legal as I drive these streets. She couldn't stand it any longer, she showed up this morning offering to watch my kids so I would quit using them as an excuse for putting this off. I've had a valid utah license, so I suppose I felt safe enough, but since our vehicles are registered here, I would have been caught if I had been pulled over... imagine that mom, I have steered clear of the highway patrol for 3 years! Anyway, I no loger am illegal and am also finally registered to vote... Obama, here I come!

Need to Write

I have been working on a few small writing projects latey. Those combined with the latest vampire and werewolf saga fresh in my head have me tapped. I've got so much literary information swimming in my head I can't make sense of it. My head literally feels heavy. And tired. I've enjoyed the writing, it's nice to have some kind of creative outlet seeing as the artistic ability I was born with is zilch. I've also enjoyed the reading, although I've got to get through this book.. there are other projects waiting patiently for their turn!

Food is also in my head. I participated in a produce co-op for the first time last weekend and it was great! It's been a fun challenge to see just what we're going to do with all of this stuff. Thank goodness for Seneca, she'll eat anything, including what the rest of us refuse! Also, being the ever-evolving budgeteer that I am, I can freely admit that we're out. We're out of grocery money for the month. It's the 20th... we're not spending any more moola on food, the allotment is gone. There's plenty of stuff here, we're not going to starve, but you may want to pray for those in my dinner group who are getting a creation made soley from items already existing within my four walls!

And since we're working in random fashion here, let's just take a minute and talk about how stinking cute this is!

Cooper and the Butterfly Stroke

Verbage and video by Coop's dad:
So, Cooper has been watching the Olympics on TV. He has enjoyed watching the swimming. Click on the video to see how Michael Phelps has influenced this three year old boy. To set the stage, Coop and I were swimming today and I simply asked him to show me the butterfly stroke. He said ok and off he went. No coaching went into the video, he simply mimicked what he has been watching on tv. My apologies for the video being sideways. I couldn't figure out how to rotate it. You'll have to turn your head.

In other swimming news, our swim lesson season has come to a close. We've still got two more months of swimming weather here, so practice sessions haven't ended, but no more driving clear out to lessons 4 times a week to bake in the sun.. yea! It was completely worth it, though, to see Cooper improve as much as he did this summer. His teacher is fabulous and has a great balance between being supportive and kind and being tough and not letting coop get away with laziness. He loves Miss Erin and was so excited to show her what he'd been practicing at home.

I love her too- she has helped him become such a great little swimmer. Cooper's milestones this summer include floating unassisted on front and back, doing elementary backstroke with arms and legs together, front crawl stroke with breathing, sometimes to the side... he can do a knee-dive by himself as well as surface dive to the bottom to get dive sticks. It's so fun to have him enjoy the pool with our family and with his friends. His confidence has improved significantly.

Seneca and Beckham have also enjoyed the water this summer. No more tears when they go under the water... Senny knows that when we count 1, 2, 3.. she closes her eyes and holds her breath. She'll jump in the water with a little help and float around with us all day. Her backfloat is almost there, she's learning to relax when her ears are under the water. Bex gets over the initial shock quickly and keeps up his jolly kicking even when dunked. He was such a great sport sweating in the hot sun each afternoon while Coop has his lesson.

Thanks Erin, for fantastic swimming lessons! Coop will turn all credit over to you when he wins his first gold medal!!

Tessa Jane Hunt

Katelyn, Wade and Tessa

Sweet Baby Tess

She's here!!

I wish words could explain how much joy is filling up my soul right now. I can't really focus on anything else. Katelyn and Wade welcomed their daughter into the world last night at 11:52 p.m. From all accounts, she's perfect. They are exhausted and smitten. Hearing Katelyn talk to her baby over the phone is just too much. I love that she is having this experience, my heart is so full. They will be such sweet parents. For my record's sake:

Tessa Jane Hunt
August 13, 2008, 11:52 p.m.
7 lbs, 9 oz., 19 inches
lots of light hair
complete with each tiny little body part she's supposed to come with!

you'd think this was my induction into aunthood, the way I already love this little girl, but no, there are others... the difference is that I have now felt what it feels like to hold one straight from heaven. it's different after having done that. Welcome to the world, Tess!!

Baby H

My sister is having a baby today. It's been slow-going, but I'm confident the little lady will arrive before today turns into tomorrow. I've had a lot on my mind today as I think about Katelyn and what she's going through. I'll admit, most of my thoughts are quite selfish. I really want to be there. It's a good thing I'm not, but that doesn't mean that I don't ache inside to be with her. It's her turn to go through this miraculous journey, but I'm a little jealous that I'm not a part of it. I'm glued to my phone as Wade sends text updates.

She's going to be a mom. She's going to be fabulous at it. She's a fabulous aunt. Yes, I know it's different, but she was born to do this. She's creative and thoughtful and while her patience leaves a little to be desired, she's ready for this. She gets to hold a tiny little thing that came straight from Heavenly Father and it is hers, a part of her; a perfect combination of Wade and Katelyn. The lessons that are headed her way are endless; the most rewarding and the most trying moments are yet to come and I am so grateful that she gets to have these moments.

I'm grateful to have a sister "in the game," someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to share silly and special moments with, someone who knows that while a particular idea may be crazy, it must also be right because "that's how mom did it." My heart is so full of love and anticipation for her to feel how it is to love a little person so completely that staring for hours never gets old. Good luck tonight, sister. I am thrilled for you.

Today's Delights

Cooper delights in his new train set. He picked it out himself after earning 20 marbles. He earns marbles for listening the first time, having a great nap without whining, being "caught" doing something great... sharing with seneca, playing sweet with beckham, cleaning up his toys...now we start over. I delight in giving marbles to him.

Seneca delights in tossing her food from her highchair tray to the floor. She really does. It happens with a full smile on her face. I don't always delight in picking up soggy food, but I delight that I have her to clean up after.

Beckham delights in anyone giving him any kind of attention. His delight is displayed by an enormous open-mouth smile and happy squeals. I receive this delightful reaction when I lift him high in the air, when Cooper jumps around silly in front of him, when seneca plays peek-a-boo with him.

Denten delights in great sport. The men's olympic swimming 4x100 freestyle relay last night? Pure delight as we jumped off the couch cheering. He delights in his children's laughter, in a satisfying day's work, in a bowl of ice cream.

I delight in summer days in the pool with my kids, a clean house at the end of the day, running errands with pleasant children, friends I can have honest conversations with, chocolate ice cream from fresh & easy. We're fairly easy to please around here. Life really is delightful.

Thoughts today

I'm reading a great book, Whisperings of the Spirit, by Nancy Murphy. Each chapter comes with a challenge or suggestion of something to work on to hear and feel the spirit more fully in our lives. The last one resonated with me:

Identify something in your life- an attitude, a weakness, a habit or an action- that may be keeping the Spirit from you, even in a small degree, and resolve to give it up. This will strengthen your relationship with the Holy Ghost and bring him into your life in a deeper and more meaningful way.

This book has pointed out that the Holy Ghost is always speaking to us, always. We just need to fine-tune our listening ears to hear what he's trying to communicate. Prayer and the promptings of the Spirit are intricately connected. The Lord reminded Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery that as often as they had asked, they had received instruction through the Holy Ghost (D&C 6:14). We are given the same promise and allowed the same privilege: Whenever we ask, the Lord will answer. Reassuring, if you ask me. I'm still trying to decide what behavior it is that I need to eliminate from my life to allow the Spirit to more fully communicate with me. Impatience comes to mind as does mindless television, although with most shows off for the summer, I don't feel like I've wasted a lot of time with TV lately. What would you sacrifice in order to open the airwaves?

The other thing I want to remember today is how well my children are interacting with each other. Beckham is very observant to what is going on around him and both Cooper and Seneca often include him in their activities. Seneca thinks she's on top of the world when her brother will play with her. Cooper often pretends to chase her, with her waddling away as fast as she can and laughing all the way while he says, "come back here, you silly little girl!" Cooper is a little sheriff, but he's sharing and taking turns and there is lots of laughing. Wrestling has been introduced and they are often rolling together on the floor as they laugh their heads off. There simply isn't a better sound. And most of the time it's worth the mess...

All you gotta do is ask...

I just saved a bundle on my car insurance! and I didn't call geico.

I've been going over the household budget again, 'cause I just can't do it enough, apparently. I was looking down the list at what could conceivably be trimmed down and while I usually skip over those categories that are "fixed," I kept coming back to Allstate. It's an automatic withdrawal, so I never think about paying that bill, but I was wondering if we were paying more than necessary. I'm very grateful to have car insurance. I've very grateful to have cars to insure, for that matter. I'm grateful that Allstate has been great to work with.

Since we moved to Arizona, we haven't had an agency assigned to us, we've been "floaters," if you will. I figured that if I was going to ask for a break, I wanted to talk to an actual local person rather than randomness on the other end of 1-800-allstate. So, first order of business was getting an agent assigned to us- no problem, I picked the closest office with a lady whose name sounded nice. I then called and asked if there was anything they could do to lower our rate. They reviewed our policy and called back with options... all of them coming in at least $30 a month less than our current policy and all with more "special features." We evaluated the options, had the policy rewritten and my budget now has a bit more wiggle room. Love that.

Aack! When did this happen?!

Two teeth, my friends! What kind of mother misses the arrival of the first TWO teeth?! Apparently I am a very different mother with this child than I was with my first... less attentive, I mean. Look closely, you'll see them on the bottom. Sadly, the pediatrician had to point them out to me. Oh, and this kid, the chubmeister of them all? Not really so chubby. He currently lands in the 45% for weight and 90% for height! "Long and lean," the dr. said. Ha! He's come a long way, however. He started out in this world in the 25% for height... for starting out as such a little squirt, he's done his duty making up for it!

Have you ever seen a teething child so stinkin' happy?! Thank my lucky stars. Perhaps if he were grumpy I would have looked for teeth... not complaining one bit!

The Ethanol Experiment

Dutch had a big healthy drink today... and it wasn't petroleum. He's going diet. I filled the ol' boy up with ethanol this morning. Yep, we're trying it on for size. Considering his massive girth and the fact that he doesn't get stellar gas mileage as it is, it's worth a shot. I could appear noble and say that my soul motivation was to protect our enviroment; I could take a more political stance and say that I'm boycotting gasoline companies, but the real reason is moola. It's cheaper. And I'm so open to cheap right now.

So we'll give it a shot and see what happens. It's convenient that one of the two places ethanol is available in Phoenix isn't too far from me. It is rumored to drop my gas mileage a little, but it may be worth it if petrol prices keep climbing. We'll give him a tank or two and see how he runs and then reevaluate. Anybody already hopped on this train? Feedback?

Where we're at today

It's August 1, 2008. I am two months away from being 30 years old. I have been married for 9 1/2 of those 29 years. I have lived in Phoenix for almost three years and while it doesn't seem like Phoenix has been a part of my life that long, it has brought with it the ownership of our first home and two children. That's to be considered pretty significant. And I've learned here, and grown, and made mistakes. That, too, is significant to me.

It's different learning and growing than the previous segment of my life- I had intense learning and growing experiences in Manhattan, both from graduate work and the challenges that learning and practicing social work in NYC brought as well as simply living there and having both the maturity and inexperience to have a few "figuring out who I am" periods. Those three years will always be very precious to me as they brought emotions and experiences to a greater level than I had previously felt. While my marriage strengthened deeply, I also felt hollowing loneliness. I had great confidence about where my studying was taking place and yet deep inadequacies about counseling people with which I had absolutely nothing in common. Most of all, I had incredible testimony-building experiences and learned for myself that my Heavenly Father knows me, that I am valued by him and the knows me, distinct from his other children.

Those years also brought a fire in us, a readiness to fight for the opportunity to be parents. An unacceptance of the instructions simply to wait, to be patient. We found an assertiveness and along side that, a peace about the fact there was a little spirit waiting to turn us from two to three. I cherish those IVF memories and what they led to.

Today Cooper is three, rounding the corner to four years old. He is tall and thin. He has blond hair, more so right now than normal due to his time in the summer sun. He has deep blue expressive eyes and small lips. He gets those from me. His nose is his feature most Navajo, though no one would guess he has that heritage running through him. He is strong and athletic. His coordination is coming in spurts and the occasional lack thereof reminds me that he's still a little boy. He has the same nervous habit I had as a child of touching and stroking the ends of his fingers when he's distracted or uncomfortable. He is reserved when first exposed to new experiences or people and then his exuberant energy creeps through him and explodes. It is very ironic and humorous to me when I hear him tell his sister than she is too loud. There are times when I really think I'm going to lose it because his volume is simply too much. Gratefully, his loudness is usually happy. Cooper has a little stubborn in him and experiments with testing the limits. He has taught me that consistency works best with him. There are times when he's eager to help. He prays daily to "bless us that we can be sweet and kind to our brother and sister." He can make Beckham laugh like no one else and is learning to appreciate the little shadow that Seneca has turned into. Cooper has become a great little swimmer this summer, conquering the paralyzing fear that used to have hold over him. It's fun to see him try to keep up with the big kids in the pool, and do a pretty good job. He enjoys reading and makes sure there are at least two stories that accompany his scripture reading each evening. He loves music and often plays "conductor," complete with a stand and baton, leading all the imaginary friends in song. There is so much I could say about this first child of mine. Right now I'm grateful that he's open to learning new things and that he loves to play.

Seneca Kate is 14 months old. She has beautiful tawny brown skin that is supple and smooth. Her shiny black hair is thick and very much a part of who she is. Senny has big dark eyes that squint up and sparkle when she laughs hard. Her nose is wide and flat and easy to kiss. She has lips that protrude when she's trying to figure something out and that spread wide to show the new teeth that keep emerging. Her jawline is squared, leaving great cheeks above that I love everyday. Seneca has curious hands that explore anything they can reach. Her fingernails are even and grow quickly. She can walk and while it appears her awkward movement will cause her to tip at anytime, she manages to keep her balance and is going faster each day. She has discovered that it's fun to run away from me when I call her, always laughing as she goes. She's a great eater and prefers to feed herself. She is very predictable when it comes to feeding time; her body is on a clock. She has a squawk that is loud and demanding and refuses to be ignored. Fortunately she only chooses to use it when she's very hungry or tired. She sleeps soundly and is still taking two naps a day and goes to bed early. She prefers to smile than frown and is so easy to please. She is a little smarty-pants and can often figure out how to get into things that were intended to keep her out. She has learned how to give squeezes and blow kisses and both are priceless to me.

Beckham is six months old, although his chub may be a little ahead of him. He is incredible squishy and lovable. He's getting longer quickly and isn't as chubby around his middle as he is in his face and legs. Bex has light brown hair that sometimes shows a little auburn tint. I don't know if it is as thick as when he was born. Beckham has his dad's high forehead that ends at the bottom with very happy eyes. His eyes are a green hazel and have light in them. They know how to smile all by themselves. He has a darling little round nose. His bottom lip automatically slips out as his forehead creases giving full warning that there is a little unhappiness occurring. His mouth also smiles hugely and often. He smiles with his mouth wide open revealing little pink gums inside and deepening the crease between the chin on his face and the one directly below. He has busy little hands that are always opening and closing and looking for something to grasp. His toes are squared and try really hard to stay within the confines of his chubby little feet. His ankles are currently buried in soft squishiness- I'm confident they'll reemerge in time. Beckham has always favored sleeping on his stomach and therefore has a strong neck and arms. He's recently begun pushing back onto his knees and rocking back and forth. He's a good little scooter and never stays in the same spot if on the floor. He kicks his legs in delight at his brother's silliness. He is incredible patient with his sister and her occasional whacks. The two of them have begun jabbering together in the backseat of the car and it is a most delightful sound. Beckham has just begun eating rice cereal, he's been perfectly content with formula. He's a good sleeper, taking three naps a day and sleeping soundly all night. He lets us know he's awake with happy cooing sounds as he plays with his feet in his bed. He's an easy-going little man and I love him to pieces.

Denten is 31 years old and has recently begun the second job of his legal career. It is a fantastic job. He is immersed in indian projects, currently doing a lot of gaming work with local tribes. It is work that is interesting and fulfilling. He's making great contacts and is having valuable interactions with local tribal leaders. Denten has progressively embraced his native culture more and more through the past nine years. He has a deep pride for his heritage, family and people. Denten is constantly looking for new adventures. He would be hunting or fishing most of his days if it would pay the bills. D is into photography and has provided us with more photos that I know what to do with. He is a very involved and concerned father, making most of the decisions regarding our children joint ones. Our kids know the sound of the garage door and know that means dad is home. They race at their various speeds to the back door to welcome him home every day. He enjoys swimming with them each evening, helping get them to bed and then finding his spot on the couch to settle in and watch something that has been DVR'd. He's currently a sucker for reality television. Denten drives Suby and is patient with her. She is a fantastic car, but dent has a dream and someday good 'ol Suby is going to go by the wayside in favor of a truck.

Today, as I capture this snapshot of who we are right now, it is incredible clear how abundantly blessed I am. I have had education and experiences some only dream of and the family that some ache to have. While money is stretched right now, we live a very comfortable life and see blessings all around us each day. And that's where we are.