some randoms.

overheard in the car going to soccer: "seneca, if you score 10 goals at practice then you can have one of my bouncy balls. or, if you have a lot of fun and try really hard."

myjobchart.com is working wonders around here. I wondered if the novelty would wear off but it's still going strong. the morning routine is happening with a fraction of the reminding that was occurring before and after school responsibilities are efficient and everyone is helpful. and best of all, children stay in bed after they've been tucked in! good find.

the school carnival is friday evening. everyone around here is looking forward to this event. it might have even made an appearance in prayers. betcha can't guess who would pray for such a thing.

my legs have been screaming at me every time I try to stand up or sit down today. I knew yesterday at the gym that I'd be sore because I could feel my limits being pushed, but holy smokes.

we have hit a few hurdles in the adoption certification front lately and are pushing through them persistently. D and I had physicals with a new doctor today as part of the renewal process. I like him.

seneca has a program at school tomorrow to showcase all of her solar system knowledge. judging by the songs she's been singing it ought to be quite the show. beckham is thoroughly offended he is not invited to attend. especially when she said there would be popcorn.

tomorrow is thursday. there are zero after-school activities scheduled. I love thursdays.

we're champions at our house.

We're finding good things around here today. Everyone was a champion.

Cooper was put on "the ladder" today at chess. I had to have the coach explain that to me, but essentially he had to show his coach a check mate to prove he understood what it was and now he plays other kids on the ladder to work his way up. He has had the concept of check mate down for quite some time (I know from personal experience) but today he beat a 5th grader and he was proud the coach noticed his moves. He was a champion.

Seneca counted to 100 by herself today. She did it so easily that I'm assuming she has done that before, but it was the first time I heard her, so we made a big deal about it. She is a champion.

Beckham did a stellar cartwheel today at tumbling. I noticed because the first 30 minutes of class I was wondering if this was really worth our time seeing as the coordination with my children was a little lacking. Then Bex busted out this cartwheel with enough power to get over, semi-straight legs and landed on his feet with his hands up. It was great. He also wrote his name today with the best formed letters I've seen from him yet. He's most definitely a champion.

Denten took over working with Cooper last week preparing his talk for primary. They handled it completely, I didn't even hear it until he gave it on Sunday. I appreciated that I didn't have to worry about that and be the one to make sure Coop was prepared. Dent took out the garbage and recycling today, which I appreciated fully and he also handled a phone call on the way to work that I was stressing about. He's a total champion.

A September Retreat

There was catching up.  Reading.  Lounging.  Eating.  Really good food.  Browsing.  Shopping.  Napping. 

There was the Bass Cottage Inn, our home away from home.  And there were a few outings.

Tandem Cycling through Acadia National Park

When we picked up our bikes, the rental lady warned us that tandems weren’t always very good for marriages.

“Some people come back and they aren’t speaking to each other.” 

It was funny.  We loved them.

Bar Harbor Half-Marathon and 5K

Dad and I before

Hi Mom!  Yes, I’m in a hat.  Yes, it helped me avoid the whole my-ears-get-cold-and-give-me-a-headache situation.

D in the finish chute.  Personal best time… he killed this one.

Wadey and Katelyn

The halfers.  Sorry about your hair, sister.  Consolation… mine grows in the humidity, too.

Back at the inn.  Time to relax.

On the Open Sea

We finished our trip with a relaxing sail out on the open water.

The Helen Brooks, our Friendship Sloop for the afternoon

traps full of lobsters

our views

It is not hard to feel the peace and serenity sailing offers.  A beautiful way to say good-bye… until next year.

The Lobster Experience

Beal’s Lobster Pound in Northeast Harbor, ME. 

The troops found this particular pound a few years ago and it has yet to disappoint. 

The traps are piled right outside the door, fresh from the harbor.

Oh, hello little buddy!  I am going to eat you!  Ready to be dropped in the cooker.  Yes, that’s the official name of the enormous vat of boiling water.

waiting to partake…  while we prefer the harbor view, it was just too chilly this year to be outside.

before the carnage.  mmm.  he looks delicious!

the aftermath.  it’s always over way too quickly.

Seneca is a champion.

First soccer practice.  Purple shorts we got didn’t fit, she rolled with it.  On the way to practice we talked about listening to the coach and trying really hard to do what he asked.  She responded, “I am going to play like a champion, like daddy says.”  We have established that as our family motto and she is taking it to heart. 

She worked out there.  She was fast and tried so hard to get to the ball every time.  She has mastered the thumbs-up and gave it to me frequently with a huge smile pasted on her face.  “Mom, I’m doing good!”  We’ll work on the grammar.  When running off the field for a water break, she yells, “I’m a champion, mom!”  Indeed, Senny.  Indeed.  She has the double-fist pump down and does it while jumping up and down when she gets excited.  Like after she scored her first goal in the scrimmage.  Oh, she was excited about that.  There were also a few other exclamations from the field… “Oh, darn it!”  “Oh, man!”  There were several kids on the field who were crying at one time or another today, perhaps it’s the age, or the beginning of the season but I’m glad she wasn’t one of them.  She fell at one point and hurt her elbow.  “I just brushed it off, mom.  I’m ok.”  I’ve always liked watching Coop play soccer, but this is a whole new level of entertainment.

bexie again.

please bless we can be nice to each other. please bless that we can have oreos again that are cookies stuck together like a sandwich. please bless that we can have pizzas not on the grill next time. please bless we can go on an airplane and a rocket ship, oh, not a rocket ship but an airplane to go to katelyn's house and to grandma's house. and grandma's house. and grandma's house.

it's nice to know what is important to him these days.

to heaven. from beckham.

please help us be nice to each other and go to a water park, not just stapley (the local city pool).  please help me get a new toy from christmas and from easter and help me go to a birthday party and have a popsicle at that birthday party.  please help us be nice to each other and help dad get home safe. 

10 years ago

I wish I could write as eloquently as Katelyn.  Her story brought me to tears first thing this morning and they have been close to the surface all day.  Denten and I were living in Cedar City at Sunset Ridge.  I was in the bathroom getting ready for work when I turned on the TV in my bedroom.  Denten had already gone to work at the middle school.  News of the terrorist attacks was everywhere but it took me a while to realize that this was live, happening now.  I remember sitting on my bed, glued to the footage with my phone in my hand.  I remember trying to get a hold of family members and hearing from my mom that no one knew where Katelyn was yet.  I felt shaken and peaceful at the same time.  I knew somehow that she was fine, but I was scared for her, being there alone.  I didn’t know whether to be scared for me.  Would these awful people touch small-town Southern Utah?  I pulled myself away and drove to Head Start where I was working in a social work capacity with their child care programs.  I don’t remember much about what I did, except that I couldn’t focus and didn’t stay long.  I felt like I was in a dream.  Driving back home I remember looking at the sky and thinking it was clear and blue and yet there was a darkness that I felt all around me.  I spent time curled up sitting on our blue couch watching, hanging on any bit of news about what was happening on the East Coast. 

Denten found a TV at the middle school in Coach Barnes’ office.  At some point he talked to Katelyn and let me know she was ok. 

I don’t know if 10 years is a big deal because 10 is a nice number or if Bid Laden being found this year plays a part, but it seems big to me this year.  The terror, the destruction, the heartache and the heroes all stand out.  I remember feeling a sense of community that I had never felt before that extended from one side of the country to the other.  Kids made ribbons and sold pins.  There were fundraisers for the victim’s families.  There was this commonality that I shared with everyone I encountered and I loved that spirit.  I wish it would have lasted longer.  Criticism of how GW handled everything was quick to come and the critical eye propelled from there.  I wanted the ‘banding together’ part to last longer than the ‘he’s not doing it right’ part.  The flag meant more to me after the attacks.  I always had respect for it, but it was a symbol of survival after that.  Music about America and that day still makes me stop and listen closely.  I wondered for days after 9.11 how life was supposed to just go on.  How we were just supposed to go back to doing what we always did like nothing happened.  So much had changed and I felt it deep inside of me but I didn’t know what to do about it.  But I suppose that’s how it is.  When tragedy strikes, we mourn and we grieve and we support and then we feel gratitude and we keep moving.  We take those experiences and we let them change us so while life continues, it does so with us a little better, a little brighter and a little more hopeful than before. 

There are images that are forever in my mind and guarantee that I will always remember.  It’s not a feeling of anger or hate or fear that I carry.  It’s one of reverence and solidarity and respect.  and Hope.

Patriot’s Day

At the beginning of this week Cooper’s teacher sent home a note with his homework assignments.  She explained that they were going to be spending time this week talking about 9/11 and although none of the first graders were alive in 2001, they were going to study the day as an important day in history and focus on the hope and positive aspects that came from the event.  They read various books about the World Trade Center (did you know someone once tight-rope walked across a wire between the two buildings?!) and talked a little about heroes.  One of Coop’s assignments was to write about one of his heroes.  This was a hard concept to define as he didn’t want to write about someone who wasn’t alive anymore, or someone fictional and although he is related to many great men, there wasn’t one that stood out to him as a “hero.”  He finally told me he’d take care of it on his own, after I’d suggested many options, and I let him.  He settled on his dad and did a great job. 

This morning there was a special flag ceremony at school.  Seneca, Beckham and I stayed to participate when we took Cooper to school.  The entire student body was dressed in red, white or blue and gathered in the courtyard around the flag pole.  We learned that the flag that flies at Zaharis was sent to the students from members of the military that the students had been writing to for three years.   The servicemen flew it over an airbase in Afghanistan and then sent it to Zaharis.  There were a few trumpet solos that were amazing and a few students read essays they had written about 9/11.  I was impressed with the reverence of the students as they listened to the program.  Boy scouts handed raising, the lowering, the flag with smart salutes.  I’m grateful that this day is being celebrated and that it has been the focus at school this week.  I’m grateful for all the good that came out of a massive tragedy.  The patriotism, the sense of community, the awareness of everyday heroes. 

After the attack in 2001, the newspaper came with a full-page picture (below).  We had it hanging on the door to our garage for a long time.  I’m grateful we have not forgotten.

good things.

today I smiled and laughed all the way home from the school. cooper checked out a new book of riddles and they were funny. listening to him laugh at them was the best part. that, and having beckham guess the answers.

I am loving the gym lately. I have changed up my routine a little and I can feel that my body is stronger and can go longer than before. I enjoy the teachers, the people I'm with and the music. I look forward to it every day.

hot, fresh, homemade wheat bread. delivered to my door by emily-the-amazing across the street. coop and I enjoyed a fat slice when he got home.

listening to seneca tell us about astronauts today. she is so animated and remembers the funniest little details.

one week until it's time for a vacay! for us and the kids... not together, but they get to stay with adam and camarie and let's be honest, they just may have more fun than we will. although we'll get the better scenery. and food. and fresh air. ok, we win, but they'll be in good hands.

I’ve read several posts lately relating to motherhood… all from women who are attempting to give this role their best effort despite the fact that the role is ever evolving and requires efforts thrown in different directions each day.  Along with these women, I want to be a great mother- one who raises children who are bright, capable, above-average and feel great about themselves.  I want them to be well-rounded.  I want them to be great communicators.  I want them to know their Heavenly Father and have an intimate relationship with Him.  I want them to love and enjoy each other and place value on the things that matter most.  While this list is by no means comprehensive, the point is that I have great aspirations as a mother.

I was with friends last night who were discussing how several in my former ward had refused to accept callings recently.  We were talking that there might be various reasons for this- that one lacks the confidence to feel they will do well in a certain calling, or, as was mentioned, some claimed they were too qualified or felt they had too much to offer to serve in a particular position.  One of my friends observed that both of these reasons boil down to a lack of faith.  What makes us doubt the fact that Heavenly Father knows just what we should be doing at any given point in our lives?  Doubt, fear, pride and selfishness are all tools the adversary uses to make sure we don’t exhibit our full potential, whether it be related to magnifying our callings in our wards, or our callings as mothers. 

I have to release doubt on a regular basis when it comes to motherhood.  It is easy for me to compare myself to other mothers who are, from my perspective, doing a fantastic job.  They seem to have it all figured out and I can be quick to come to the conclusion that I don’t have the capability to do that.  It is a quick spiral for me to become completely overwhelmed when I think of all the things my children should have exposure to that I am failing to provide.  When I release fears and doubts, it is clear that this is what my Father in Heaven wants me to be doing right now and He wouldn’t ask anything of me save He shall prepare a way for me to accomplish it.  He wouldn’t give me this job if I weren’t the right one to do it. 

The more common fault I need to check often is selfishness.  The more I learn about being a mother, the more I realize it is the most service-oriented calling on earth.  You give from sun up to sun down day in and day out.  Sometimes I need to to stop as I’m scheduling my day or managing my time and check myself to see if that time is being spent the best way possible.  My children are old enough that they do not my full, undivided attention every minute of the day.  That makes it tempting to escape, to sneak in time that is just for me and, in the long run, does not benefit them.  While I believe that every mother needs a break now and then, I also believe that being a mother means being anxiously engaged… all the time.  My children need so much from me that I can’t afford to check out on a regular basis.  The hours they are awake are precious hours that can be used in productive ways to build their little spirits and minds while they are eager to learn. 

The rebellious in me countered back today when I had the thought, “my goal today is to be a great parent.”  Immediately the opposition yelled in my ear, “Isn’t that what I’ve been doing since 6:15 this morning?!  Being a parent??”  Yes, technically, but perhaps a better term for the morning was, “Chauffer.”  I have had to be more creative than I have in the past in regards to the time we spend in the car.   Planning ahead is necessary for me to be sure we have the right music, books, sight words and games available in the car with us so that we are using that time productively.  I have been tempted when we have 10 minutes to wait here or there to pull out my book, but those scattered minutes get us through a few music class songs together, or solid on a few more sight words, or through a new library book. 

This is not to say that I end the day completely exhausted.  In fact, I seldom make it to the end of the day before that feeling hits.  The one that screams, “I’m done!!”  Sometimes my eyes fight me to stay open.  Sometimes my body is tired and done.  Sometimes my brain has hit it’s limit and sometimes it’s all emotional.  But we make it.  Every day, somehow, we make it.  Even on Tuesdays.  Heaven help me on Tuesdays.

I fall short every day being the mother these children deserve.  But I am grateful that when I pray for help, the Spirit visits me often with small, subtle suggestions that will help our day go smoother, or help someone understand the concept being taught, or prompt kind words that are well-received.  I’m grateful for good examples that inspire me to step up my game and keep my focus on these little ones who posses so much potential. 

thursday update.

We moved here almost a year-and-a-half ago and ever since I have been intending to have our pediatric records transferred to a closer pediatrician. It obviously never made the top of the priority list because it never happened. Thanks to doTerra and heaven, we have not had any need to visit a doctor in the last year-and-a-half but I figured we better get caught up on our immunizations, 'cause I'm still ok with those. And it's fun to see how the kids are growing. Although they little ones hopped on the scale at the gym this week and discovered they weigh the same. That may never be the case again in their little lives so we thought it was cool.

Anyway, today was the day to meet the new dr. I was honest about the fact that shots were going to be involved. They were troopers. We picked Coop up from school and headed to our appt. Everyone is healthy, strong and ticklish. We have a few things to follow up on with Bex, but nothing I'm worried about. Coop lucked out and only got a flu shot. Bex got a booster and a flu. Seneca won the prize with six shots today. SIX! Seems 4-years-old is a biggie... all those kindergarten prep shots. She didn't like me for 4 seconds but got over it quick and thought it was great that she had the most band-aids.

All the kids walked away with a sucker, a sticker and a new book. I like the doctor, he was helpful with my questions and patient with my kids. I hope we don't have to see him again for a while, but it's nice to know he's there if we need him.

Beckham beat me in Memory today. He doesn't really like to wait for his turn when he knows where a match is, but he really does have a knack for that game. Seneca has been learning about outer space at Discovery Club this week. It is hilarious to listen to her talk about stars, the milky way and the like. A star is a giant ball of glowing gas! Said with her arms circling huge around her. The sun is a star! But stars don't look like our stars, mom. They are very tiny because they are far away, but they are big if you look through a telescope. And the milky way is pronounced "milky wave," and it swirls around like a white flower. It's not the facts so much as the bright eyes and enthusiasm that accompanies the delivery.

Tonight was curriculum night at Coop's school. We went and Cooper showed us around his room and the things he's been working on. I think it was anticlimactic for Denten as he left work super early to be there, but I love that Coop is in this environment and the things he's being exposed to. Seneca can't wait to go to school and Beckham was happy visiting the tortoises. Who, by the way, just had babies. There are a few select members of this family who think we need to welcome one or two into this family. We'll see what happens with that.

We have almost reached Friday, folks! That is a big deal.