randomness.

we've gone two years in this house with a little girl and so far there has been zero princess paraphernalia. a little bit of floof entered the house as grandma sandi gave senny a yellow, sparkly, fluttery butterfly magic wand for her birthday. I'm pretty sure she has no idea what it is as she has so far treated it as a light saber or something similar, jabbing it around and making "shoo"ing noises. Cooper, however, understands its magic and keeps telling me, "mom, I'm going to disappear you!" sandi, thanks for trying to make my girl girly.. we'll keep working on it.

cooper said the prayer over dinner tonight and included that we would have a happy world. that all the countries would be safe and all the people in the countries would be safe too. what a little diplomat. does he know something we don't?

beckham is doing his best to hang onto his goods these days. the play kitchen seneca got for her birthday is proving to be a great hiding place for all the things she can take from bex. he keeps losing his sippy cup and then remembers that his sister hid it in her microwave. I think he can't wait for the day when he's bigger than her. look out, sis.

the first session of swimming lessons is almost over and it was so worth my moola. cooper can competently do the front crawl stroke mostly breathing to the side, elementary back stroke, back crawl stroke and yesterday he put his legs and arms together for breast stroke... the natural coordination is awesome. I'm so grateful that he enjoys swimming and that he finds confidence in his successes to try hard things. yesterday his teacher asked him if he could do a somersault in the water. I could see where this was going and was wondering if she was out of her mind (no offense erin). he did one and she proceeded to teach him how to do a flip turn. my first thought was, "a flip turn? uh, he's FOUR!" and then he did it, so I shut the mouth in my head and let my little fish go. I'm also grateful that he has a teacher that knows when to push him and what his abilities are. She is so positive with him and they work so well together. Of all the things there are to love about south phoenix (read: sarcasm), our swim teacher is truly awesome.

until seneca's lessons begin next week, senny and bex have been getting mini lessons from yours truly. so far we've eliminated all tears when going under the water, finally accomplished back floats without freaking out and denten taught senny how to monkey crawl the wall back to the big step. little bits of progress every day- the main point being that they really enjoy the water and have so much fun together out there.

seneca, denten and I are off to utah for the weekend, leaving the boys in rachel's capable care. we will probably not see each other as we are all individually occupied... I'm attending my sister's graduation from westminster (go harrie!) and ben and linny are going through the temple. Denten is spending the weekend with his brother doing boy things and senenca is going to be loved on by grandma and grandpa robinson. cooper keeps telling me that he's going to miss me a lot and in the next breath he tells me all the cool things he's going to do with rachel. I'm pretty sure he'll be just fine.

better go, senny is serving me plastic cookies. mmmmm. delicious!

2 years.

a new kitchen.

swimming with best friends.

gifts from grandma and grandpa.

cake.

popcicles.

what more could a two-year-old ask for?!

(click to enlarge)

two years ago today this combination of sweet, fiesty, beautiful and stubborn was born to a mama who loved her as much as is humanly possible for two weeks. that mama then turned her over to this one who can't imagine her life without this little face. love you to pieces, senny!

pomp. and a little circumstance.

Cooper graduated from preschool this week. It's the second time he's done that and he's going to do it one more time. Does graduation lose it's glamour if it's done three times before he actually begins school? Anyway, this preschool experience has been fantastic for him. We are so fortunate that he has been able to be in an environment where can really thrive. His teachers are amazing and I am always blown away by the things he learns and retains. I would probably be sad if we weren't going to do it again next year! different class, different curriculum, but same teachers.

reciting the pledge of alligence



the best part about graduation? the real microphones. i've heard how cool they are all week.



miss krysten and mr. andy. mr. andy is "soooo funny." and miss krysten is the best!







my little graduate

weekends.

Wanna know how we spend ours?



Denten does some of this.



and a little of this.



cooper finds some shade to observe the race



seneca is very serious about her snacks



bex is happy with most anything



dad's sweaty fans



another triathlon under his belt... we're getting good at this!

more adoption in tight times.

Denten sent me this article this morning about adoption. I understand the topic may not interest everyone, but it does me. Let me give you a taste... it documents the story of a woman who has three teenage children and found herself pregnant. She ended up placing her baby for adoption due to financial strain on her family. It seems the current state of the economy is prompting more and more placements- about 30% more inquiries about placement are happening over last year resulting in about 10% more actual placements. Last year alone, one adoption agency in Florida had 14 phone calls from birth mothers in the hospital who wanted to place their babies, at the last minute. They assumed they would have help when their babies came and when the help didn't show up, they placed their child for adoption. Being on the receiving end of this process, the whole idea is facsinating to me. If you give it a read, I'd love your thoughts.

my little ball of joy.

you know how when certain people walk into a room, the whole mood lifts? they radiate such positive energy that it simply bounces off of them? and the opposite is also true... when someone with very negative energy enters a room, you can just feel it. it's like they bring the entire mood of the room down.

this afternoon as I was laying on the couch enjoying a quiet sunday, beckham was wandering around, babbling to himself. he looked over at me and his entire face lit up. his eyebrows were trying to reach his hairline, his eyes bright and big. his cheeks were lifted and round, pulling up his mouth which was smiling hugely, revealing the increasing number of little teeth inside. sometimes his whole face pops with joy so much that he tips himself over. really. it's like his little body is just radiating so much light and happiness, he can't contain himself. that face is priceless to me. it is pure, innocent, sweet joy, and it one can't help but be happy right back at him. while one might think that babies eight months apart is sure to drive a mother insane, I think the exact opposite is true this week. this week, that face, that joy, that smile has been my sanity. it walks into the room and shines just when I'm about to lose it and the contagious smile lifts me. lifts the mood. lifts us all.

I love that face, and all the light and joy it holds. and shares.

don't be jealous

because my life is so completely glamorous.

today I have:

- not gotten dressed or left the house. still wearing my green polka-dot jammie pants.
- completely cleaned out the fridge. a job I procrastinate, but oh, how lovely is a sparkling clean fridge? took lots to the trash...
- pureed LOADS of broccoli residing in my refrigerator. produce co-op has been very generous with the greens lately!
- made broccoli brownies... now I know the jealousy is kicking in. wanna come over for a treat?!
- told cooper several times how awesome he looks as he keeps coming to me wearing various paraphernalia found through the house and asks, "how do I look, mom? awesome or not?"
- kissed beckham's face about 100 times as he strolls through my work space looking for something to put in his mouth.
- came to the rescue four times as seneca attempted cooper's obstacle course and kept getting stuck inside the tunnel between the couch and the ottoman. "stuck, mom! help me!"
- laughed as cooper pretended to be stuck and senny tried to save him, pulling on his arm with all her might, making no progress whatsoever.
-cleaned the counters, highchairs and dishes numerous times. oh, and the floor. good grief, the floor.
- marched around singing a song about dinosaurs.
- tried really hard to teach seneca to roar without scaring the pants off of her brother. no success yet. it's all or nothing with this girl.

looking forward to:

- nap time
- folding laundry
- swimming
- dinner... don't have to make it and it looks so delish!
- an evening away to work on projects
- denten

glamorous, I say. while you may be glad you don't have my life, it's the exact one I requested.

seen and heard.

 

heard:  seneca saying, “I ready eat, mom.”  about 20 times a day.

seen:  seneca and beckham holding hands in the front of the double cart at costco.

seen:  senny kissing beckham in the cart.

heard:  beckham squealing and laughing at his sisters kisses.

heard:  cooper singing in costco.

heard:  amberly wishing for the first time ever that she had some sort of affiliation with ASU so she could finagle tickets to today’s graduation ceremony.  I’d totally sit in the heat to hear the guy speak.  I don’t know what everyone is complaining about. 

heard:  cooper singing in the bathroom.

heard:  cooper wondering where the bad people go when the police take them home.  mom explaining that the people who broke the law go to jail until the judge decides whether they need to pay a fine or stay in jail for a while to think about what they did wrong. 

heard:  cooper saying he will never break the law.

seen:  seneca and bex both blowing bubbles in the pool.

seen:  denten ridding his legs of all hair in true tri fashion.

seen:  amberly enjoying said smooth legs.

heard:  cooper at dinner:  “this is one hot taco, mom!” 

seen:  beckham following simple directions:  “bring me your shoes, please.”  seneca is looking for her baby, beckham retrieves it and bring it to his sister.

seen:  seneca trying to wear her baby’s socks and thinking she is pretty funny.

seen:  beckham kicking his little legs for all he’s worth whenever something edible is headed his way.

heard:  cooper putting on “shows” for us all day long, practicing his songs for preschool graduation.

heard:  seneca talking on the phone to whoever will listen to the very important things she has to say. 

heard:  beckham requesting wa-wa (water) whenever he is hot.

seen:  beckham whacking his sister on the head with a book.

heard:  from senny:  “no, no, beck!” 

seen:  cooper (the gatekeeper) making us all say the secret pass code before we get in the car to go to school.  mom having absolutely no clue what the pass code is.  for the record, today it happened to be, “circle, line circle.”  of course.

seen:  beckham’s cheeks being so completely irresistible I can’t handle it.

grandmas can do it too!

My mother-in-law is a college graduate... Congratulations!!



It was so fun to be there with her to celebrate this fantastic accomplishment.
I completely admire this woman who raised an incredibly good man for me to marry. And he's hot. Sorry, it's just on my mind today!
we're so proud of you... thank you for your endless support and good example in our lives!

summer clips.

Cooper has been asking for his hair to be cut like his dads for quite some time now. We figured with all the time in the pool this summer, it wasn't a bad idea. It turned into family hair-cut day.
I was a little nervous for the clippers to hit bex's head... the kid just has a big forehead! But I actually really like it. It seems his expressions are magnified with less hair!
Sorry, no smiles here, but a glimpse of the new dos.

He's not incredibly into this photo shoot.

and yes, he still drools... even with less hair!

I love my mama.

There's lots of things I love about my mama.

I love the fact that I get to learn from her.
I have learned how to be a wife and a mom.
I have learned how to keep a clean house.
I have learned to put my family first.
I have learned to enjoy my children.

I love that she loves her children.

While this picture is not the best of either of us, it demonstrates that she serves tirelessly. Truly.
I'm sure it takes her a week to recover after she comes to visit.
When life throws two babies at you in one year, each at different stages with different needs, it's nice to have a mama who will put up with my drama and give a little perspective when needed.



I love that she enjoys her family and makes an effort to build relationships with each of us.

I firmly believe that each of my children is supposed to be mine right now. I also believe that my mom is just the right mom for me.

love you, tutz.

summertime has arrived!

This morning I had lots to do.

Cooper had different plans:

Go to the park, have a snack, listen to music and watch a movie.

He got two out of four...

I disregarded my to-dos today and we spent the morning at the splash pad. Just us.

After lunch and terrific naps, we spent all afternoon in the backyard swimming with friends. These little ones are plumb worn out. Jammies on and ready to hit the sack.
Just the way the end of a summer day should feel.

This is why I live in Phoenix.

oh, and because I couldn't get rid of my house right now if I tried, but that's another post entirely.

cooper and I are still dreaming of living by the ocean, but for now, we'll take full advantage of all the fun summer will give us right here.

it won’t be like this for long.

We took a road trip this last weekend and as we were driving, I heard this song again. There is such wisdom in the phrase, "it won't be like this for long."

During our trek northward, there were points in the journey when the three little people filling the car seats in the back became a little restless. They were tired and fighting sleep or were told there would be no more snacks right now or had simply been strapped in for too long and the whining and occasional screeching was getting to the driver. This song played and was a great reminder that this particular phase of our lives isn't going to last forever. This particular trip, even, wasn't going to last forever and we need to make the most of it. Sometimes it was funny as I turned toward Denten and told him, "it won't be like this for long." sure, he'd reply. could it stop by the time we reach that sign?

We said the same thing an hour later when I turned around to see three sweet little faces fast asleep, their eyelashes resting on their soft cheeks, their blankets pulled up to their chins. Peaceful. Quiet. “enjoy it. it won’t last forever.”

The 12 virtues challenge is focusing on gratitude this month and the title of this song has stayed with me as I interact with my children. They won’t be like this for long and I need to be sure I’m not wishing time away, but instead enjoying this moment.

Amy G. and Jess are probably not sleeping very much right now as they both have brand new little girls straight from heaven living with them. It won’t last forever. The sleepless nights, or the perfectly wonderful feeling of holding a newborn. Jaime is surviving 6 people in a New York apartment, three being under three. It won’t last forever. There are experiences being had and memories being made and moments with those children that will never come again. Leslie is about to burst from being so pregnant. While so uncomfortable she can hardly stand it, it won’t last forever. That sweet feeling of carrying a baby inside you won’t last forever and while you may be so grateful for that, it is a feeling some woman ache to have. Michelle and Kelly spend a good part of each afternoon as a chauffeur, driving children to music lessons and sporting events. It won’t last forever. Someday you won’t have anyone at home that needs to be somewhere in 15 minutes and precious time in the car free of distractions of the world to engage in conversation. Ben, Drew and Lexie are on their way to have great adventures away from home. Perhaps anxiety or nervousness accompany the event, but it won’t last forever. Two years will be over and done and there won’t be another chance to make the very most of this incredible opportunity. It can be two years wasted or it can be two years spent accomplishing great things. Rachel serves tirelessly every day pretending her entire body doesn’t hurt like crazy. Nienie has had to start over with her body, learning how to do the most basic of things one step at a time. They may have to look a little further to see that this won’t last forever. Somewhere there is a perfect body waiting for them. One that moves easily without any pain. Whatever it is right now, it won’t be like this for long.

Today isn’t going to last forever. Sometimes we’re exhausted and spent and done and the end of the day is very welcome. Sometimes we’re glad that this isn’t going to last for long. But I have experienced wise women in my life who often remind me that these days with my young children are to savor. These days are flying by and they aren’t coming back. I have today to be grateful for this experience I’m living and to make the very most of it. Because whatever today brings, it won’t be like this for long.

It Wont Be Like This For Long - Darius Rucker

Senny's Angel.

We spent some time with one of Seneca's angels last week; the one that helped her get from Heaven to our house. She hadn't seen Senny since she handed her baby girl to me almost two years ago.

We had dinner together, took a walk and played outside. We talked about Seneca; what life was like when D was pregnant and who this little girl has become in the last two years. We watched as Senny played with her brothers, carried around her baby doll and warmed up to this woman who gave her birth. We took pictures as Seneca showed her where her nose is, her eyes, ears, knees and elbows. We laughed as she told her earthly angel that the cow says "meow." I held back tears as Senny touched her gorgeous shiny hair and put her little hands on her face.

She came with simple gifts for her baby girl; a blanket similar to one she had as a little girl and a scrapbook compiled for the day when our little girl wonders all the things that she might wonder someday. While the gifts weren’t meant for me, they are absolute treasures, providing the answers to future questions about who D is, what she likes, what she looks like and who the man was that helped create her.

We talked about what life was like two years ago and how things unfolded for both of us. I wanted so badly for D to be ok. I wanted her to know she did the right thing and to know that we love this little girl more than either of us could have even imagined. I wanted her to know that she belongs in this family. I think she knows. I hope she knows. It was comforting for me to listen to her share her experience with us; an experience that was beyond difficult in so many ways and yet included moments that made it bearable. Moments when, after she handed her baby to another mother, the spirit whispered to her, “it will be ok.” We went through the entire adoption process knowing Heavenly Father was orchestrating everything and that it would turn out as He saw fit. I’m glad that being on the other side of things, D felt that too.

Seneca was not completely herself as the evening began. She was out of sorts for a while and I think she felt a little of the impact of this event. I tried not to make it a big deal, but the energy was high for everyone involved. I can only imagine the anticipation and anxiousness that D was feeling at the thought of seeing her baby again. I was so grateful that Seneca found herself and was able to show what a fun happy little girl she is to the woman who gave her this life. I’m grateful D got to see her happy and laughing and interacting with her family. I’m grateful that for a moment, D was a part of it.

I held my breath as it was time to say good-bye, wondering if I could have done this if it had been me. Wondering if I could have come and spent an evening with the sweet little girl to which I had offered a different life, a better life. and then walked away. Senny went to her easily and was generous with her hugs, squeezes and kisses. They laughed and played and smiled and then had to say good-bye. The pictures we have of the evening are priceless.

As we stood on the porch, Seneca reaching out to D for one more hug, again and again, my heart ached for her. At the same time, I was so grateful that she was in tune with the spirit and made a choice that has blessed my life every day. Seneca is ours because of her angels, one in particular. As I hugged Senny’s beautiful strong little body before I put her to bed, I thanked my lucky stars that I get to do that every night. I get to kiss her sweet face and hear her laughter and watch her learn and discover and grow. Is there a better gift in all the world?