Navajo Adoption

I've spent the last two days attending a PATH (Parents as Tender Healers) training in Tuba City, NM as part of a certification process we are going through in order to adopt a Navajo baby (denten is half navajo). The training was a parenting class focused on how to care for adopted and foster children and the unique challenges they face being a part of the social service system. I felt a little like I was back in school sitting through a seminar on abuse, remembering the prevalance and horror it presents to way too many children.

I was reminded of the staggering number of children that are affected by neglect and abuse, particularly sexual abuse. One in three girls and one in five boys will be sexually abused in their adolescent years. Even though I know that number, it blows me away each time I hear it. It is a much heavier statistic now that I am a mother. There is an incredible amount of trust we place in those we ask to care for our children.

I came away from this trip with a heavy heart knowing how many children go from group home to foster home and have parents who are anything but positive role models. Denten and I had conflicting feelings as we were made aware of just how many children are in need of stable, permanant homes. On one hand, we would love to share the home and resources we have been blessed with in order to bring love and stability to these children. On the other, we must evaluate carefully the risk we are taking for our family allowing certain experiences and issues into our home. We are both very comfortable and excited to welcome an infant into our family, but take a long pause when considering an older child. I know it may sound selfish, but that isn't right for our family right now.

I also left Tuba City today with a renewed admiration for the Navajo culture. Denten's family has realized that there are conflicts between traditional practices and the gospel, but there are beautiful traditions as well. I felt grateful that the culture has held onto values such as respect, especially for their elders, and modesty; both values that are clearly disinigrating in the society I live in. I love the rich heritage the clan system offers and was reminded that life doesn't have to move so fast. I had to put my schedule-oriented self at bay a few times when the discussion wandered off track and the endless stories began, but once I took a deep breath and listened, I learned a lot from some very wise people who have lived through much more than I have.

We have a home study scheduled in a few weeks and then we're approved to be considered for placement! We met another couple this week that is also anxious to receive the call that there is a baby waiting for them and in order to not be worried about all the families we're competeing with, I need to believe that Heavenly Father is going to send the baby to us that belongs in our family. I just need to keep all the doors open. Thanks to Grandma who spent the past few days with Cooper, I think she has a bigger imagination than he does, they had a great time together and coming home to a perfectly clean house, well, it doesn't get better than that! Thanks mom.