I was not fit to be photographed this morning, so I cheated a little. The most you'll get from my photos this week are my appendages and my shadow. Trust me, you don't want much more today.
I knew spring was coming when my eyes started itching. I knew spring was coming when my desert plants that have been sad-looking for months finally popped with color. I knew spring was coming when it went from 60 to 75 degrees outside. I knew spring was coming when Cooper came home from the park sweating in his jeans and realized it was time for shorts and sandals. I knew spring was here when I heard mention of spring break, a week that I am currently not participating in. I have for years, and will again when Coop starts school, but right now we're in the middle with no designated break. I could use a spring break right now.
I'm still having a hard time realizing that it is spring here in Arizona. It feels like the summer I grew up with, so I often think that we have gone from winter straight to summer, then I remember that this isn't even close to the sweltering summer that is ahead of us and I take a moment to breathe in the pleasant fresh air.
My mood does not currently feel springy, I kind of feel like I'm ready for a fight, but I'll bounce back, I always do. The wind will eventually stop howling outside and I'll be fine.
Spring signifies new life, right? I feel like I'm on the threshold of a new life. A few new adventures are coming my way and are going to change my life significantly and while sometimes I'm scared and glad things are still calm, I know the storm is coming and want it to just get here already. I want to quit talking about this business and have it up and running, now. I want to be in the position to be considered as a mother for a precious baby that needs our family. I also want to enjoy right where I am in life and not keep hoping for something different. However, right now I want lunch as does Cooper, so to dear spring, I request: please pull me out of this funk I'm in and let the new life begin!
8 comments:
I understand being in a funk, although my reasons are different. I hope you get this "fight" over and are on to your new adventures. Good luck!
Loved how you conveyed your intense feelings through your words. Great post.
What is your new business? I keep reading hints and mentions, but all too cryptic for me to understand. I hate that limbo feeling too, and would definitely (with the adoption alone) be crying out "let the new life begin".
i'm feeling your funk! listen i realize you perhaps share some of my type 'A' personalities but try to enoy the spirng and know that we would love to have Cooper over anytime to give you a break, a breather, a bug free afternoon (from previous post).
glad you pushed through the funk enough to post!! i hope spring brings you some renewal of spirit and energy.
Thanx for sharing.Take care -ciao
Great post! I love your candid honesty! Here's to wishing for less "funk"y days ahead!
Looks to be like we maybe in a little bit of the same position. I am feeling your funk.
It is hard to enjoy life at every turn instead of hoping for something more/different. I always thought life would be so easy and come naturally, but what I have found is that you really have to seek out happiness and bring it into your life. You must work for it. I hope you do find that calm you seek.
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