After feeling lost and frustrated last week, the fog has lifted and my world is bright and pleasant once again. Between horomones, disagreements, misunderstandings and second guessing myself I was a mess, but time, honest conversation in my family room, with good friends and on my knees has made me see life will go on and it will be fine.
I've learned that humility and compromise go a long way in healing damaged hearts. I've appreciated candid advice from trusted confidants. I've been reminded that Heavenly Father wants us happy and is willing to help if we ask. We are capable of so much more here than I realize; our capacity and ability is endless if we catch a glimpse of what we are and who Heavenly Father wants us to become.
My day has been spent with two little boys, one of my own and one borrowed and I have been reminded of the joy I have in my life when I take time to get down on the floor and build with blocks, pretend with blankets and turn ordinary toy cars into amazing excavators. I also have had two visits from two very good friends, ones who have impacted my life greatly. Ones with whom I can be myself, share my scattered thoughts, know I'm understood and valued. I love them and don't know what my life here in Phoenix would be without them.
I have also spent my day cleaning... oh the cleaning. We have our adoption home study tomorrow and while I know my house will not be scrutinized, it has been a great excuse to tackle those piles that have been ignored for far too long. I look forward to visiting with our social worker and letting him see who we are as a family and that we are ready to welcome another little someone into our home. It feels like a significant step toward completing the process that will allow us to add to our family.
So as I pause in my day, I am grateful for the blessings that I sometimes mistake for burdens and the opportunities that I have the pleasure in taking advantage of.
4 comments:
Blessings mistaken for burdens. I do that, too. And it's so easy to get bogged & down sometimes. I'm glad you're back to writing! You've been missed.
i don't think i know a more put together chick than you; so i am thrilled you have your positive outlook back (although, i don't think it was gone too long).
good luck tomorrow on the home visit. what a wonderful journey and even better destination!
It's nice to know we are not alone in our struggles, and that someone is always there waiting for us to reach out...even if that reaching out goes on for what seems like forever before we find the relief we need (did that even make any sense?). Anyway, thanks for sharing such personal thoughts.
What a great post Amberly. Sometimes in our trials and tears we do need the time to sort them out mentally before we can accept them. I for one need to talk them through, but I do struggle with the humility to fix them sometimes.
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