Reflection

A few discussions I have been privileged to be a part of lately have me thinking. The question I'm curious about is: at what point in my life did my opinion on social and political issues begin to veer in such a different direction than my local peers? I say local because this is the first time I've noticed it so distinctly.

I grew up in a home in where I was encouraged to think for myself, a place where I was free to question the reason behind a belief and where it was ok for me to form my own opinions. I don't know that I appreciated that when I was growing up. During my undergraduate studies I had a couple of wonderfully progressive and liberal professors that made it clear their intention was to challenge my beliefs. Seeing that was the first time I had really had to evaluate what I believe and how I see the world, I took pause to reexamine my positions on certain issues and wonder if the way I thought was gleaned from my parent's perspective, or if the opinion was my own. I think that some of the views I possessed at the time came from the fact that I was raised and attended school in a very conservative atmosphere and was never presented first-hand with very tough issues. The choices I made next in my life would give me these very opportunities.

The two things that I believe opened my mind further were first, marrying the man I did and second, making the move from Cedar City, Utah to Manhattan. Immediately I was aware, and a part of, racial and ethnic issues that hadn't ever been present in my life previously; I was attending school and working with people who weren't like me- meaning, they either weren't Caucasian, middle-class, heterosexual, Christian or conservative. I found the experience completely liberating and enjoyed most of all the mind-expanding conversations that Denten and I shared in this new open-minded society.

The school I attended as a whole presented wonderful new cultures, but specifically the topic of study I had chosen brought me face to face with new overwhelming experiences that required me to dig deep within me to find out how I was to react to them. Turning and running crossed my mind more than once being a solution as to how to avoid the uncomfortable that comes with new growing experiences, but enduring and eventually living them must have changed my core as I see that the profound beliefs I have acquired are sometimes significantly different than those I am often surrounded by.

I wondered if the difference was being a member of the church, but have come to the conclusion that that's not it. Denten and I have both seen a striking difference between the opinions and the level of judgement in the members of the church we call friends here in Phoenix as opposed to those we associated with in New York. Both groups value the gospel in their lives and protecting the sanctity of the family, yet go about living these beliefs very differently. After a discussion in Sunday School recently regarding charity, we wondered how exactly the judgement that we as a society claim to leave up to the Lord, yet clearly practice on each other regularly, fit together with the boundless charity we also claim. To love all men, yet not respect their rights equally; to mock a decal found on a car expressing a different lifestyle than our own, yet teaching our children that Jesus loved and treated everyone fairly and we should be doing the same; to serve others in our community as long as their physical appearance or language isn't different from our own.

I also wondered if the open-minded frame of mind I valued in my friends in New York came from the fact that by nature that place is incredibly diverse in all aspects of the word. The thing is, however, so is Phoenix! I can understand that a person who has been confined to a small town comprised only of white, christian, heterosexual individuals may not be aware of cultural issues outside of their own society, but in a city of this size and population, the awareness can not go unnoticed. It is the acceptance that is missing and I'm not quite sure why.

I suppose what it boils down to is this: Denten and I want our children to have a wonderful foundation in the gospel and an undeniable testimony of their Savior, and we want them to live as he did: open to all peoples and cultures this amazing world provides. I don't want to appear naive and say that there aren't dangers out there to be aware of, but within the walls of our home, criticizing the way another individual lives is not ok. I want them to serve with a happy heart and have that grow from the often obligatory reasons to a true desire to develop sincere relationships.

I feel the need to make it clear that I don't intend to discredit any particular group of people or the way they choose to live, and I don't claim to be free of judgement myself. I have been very blessed to continually be surrounded by true and loyal friends- friendship is something that I highly value and recognize that while there may be significant differences in opinion, there are also enough similarities upon which to have built a relationship. I'm not sure why Denten and I differ so much from others around us in the opinions we have about certain issues, and I suppose it really doesn't matter, but it has made for some interesting conversation recently in our home- and I'm always up for a great conversation!