life. my life. on hold. waiting, watching, observing. sitting, resting. on hold.
I'm a mother of three, yet am not yet able to jump into that calling. I'm still waiting. I've been warned several times, by anyone and everyone that life is going to be difficult for a while, but be at peace people- that life hasn't really started yet. I'm not able to lift two of my children, one of which requires a lot of lifting daily. My driving has been restricted as well as other household duties. I know I should appreciate the time to rest, and I do, however, I feel like getting comfortable with my changed lifestyle is going to require me actually participating somewhat fully in the process and I'm still on hold. I think I was ready mentally to embrace this new challenge, but physically I can't, so I wait. I watch and I wait. I'm grateful Seneca has her grandmother here to attend to her every need.
The issue was not made better when I had my first fainting spell this morning. No, i don't recall that ever happening before, but the past few days I've gotten a bit dizzy each time I stand up. This morning, dispite my holding onto the wall for dear life, everything went fuzzy for a bit and I didn't realize what had happened until I was in a heap on the floor and my ribs were aching like crazy. Denten and Coop were both rushing at me and I realized I had landed on the end of a dumbell set- the weights digging nicely into the side of my body.
A few observations about this ridiculous experience: first, I am grateful to have sore ribs. I'm grateful I didn't hit my head or my stomach, because right now, either would be worse. second, I am very very grateful I was not holding Beckham. I carry him around frequently these days and I have restricted my thoughts as to the possibilities had I been holding him when I went all tipsy. That thought scares me to death.
My incredibly thorough husband insisted I call the dr. and we're working on low iron and low blood sugar- problems we can easily remedy. Just add those things to the other minor ailments that accompany post-abdominal sugery and I'm working my way back to normal slowly.
As my body continues to heal, I will be grateful to simply be. Grateful for the opportunity to rest and enjoy observing my children and attempt to temper my desire to jump in at every turn. Grateful once again for an attentive husband and a mother, both who are keeping the show running around here while I'm on hold.
13 comments:
You fainted! How disorienting. Enjoy your precious new baby. Good luck with the recovery.
The gratitude you show to every aspect of your life not only inspires me but leaves a deep impression of your faith. Although we have never met in person, I feel like I know the real you just from reading your gratitudes. It touches my soul. I wish I could express myself the way you do. Thank you for letting me glimpse your miraculous life. I too am grateful you are not more injured from your fall!
You're amazing. I'm so glad that your Mom and husband are there to help you. You are blessed. Maybe it will be hard to have 2 darling babies, but if I were you, I would concentrate on what is EASY about it. Both children will fit nicely in a double stroller and it will be pretty well-balanced since they are so close in age. They will probably be interested in the same stories for a good chunk of their toddler years, so you will enjoy a delightfully full lap. You will live outside, so your house will be clean. And if it's not clean, you'll be too busy to notice! All three of your children will never complain about being lonely.
You're strength will be back soon, Amberly and you WILL be able to do this.
Oh, my! Fainting had to be really scary. You are wise to not let yourself dwell on the "what could have happened". I hope your recovery moves along quickly so you can jump back into life the way you want to.
I'm glad you're ok. You are such a great example of gratitude and positive thinking.
Hang in there Amberly. I know having patience is incredible hard. I hope you will fully recover soon. Rest and enjoy all the little moments. You are a great inspiration to all of us.
Fainting! Glad you are OK!
I have had 3 C-sections and there are so many things you CAN DO...I enjoyed lots of reading time with the kids...they would cuddle up next to me on the couch or bed and we would read or look at pictures of them as babies. So many things can be done while you sit (feeding the baby, feeding a toddler at the table, cutting up fruits and veggies, playing with cars and/or blocks, coloring with your little ones, etc.)--good luck Amberly and I hope you feel 100% soon :)
I know you won't ask, but I'll still offer to do your running around for you this week - including taking Coop to school.
you'll look back on this when you're feeling like yourself again and it will seem like a far off memory- soon you will be filled with physical strength and vigor- your days will be full of laughter and happy chaos. this recovery part is difficult, hang in there! your kids are going to be the best of friends and will reach the point sooner than later of keeping each other very occupied. you have the positive life outlook and organizational talent already figured out- that's like 98% of the battle! (:
oh i forgot to add, that Floradix, liquid iron saved me during pregnancy and recovery- and I still use it from time to time now...its good stuff.
Yikes!!! That is scary. The worst part is probably just the thought that you could have been holding the baby. That is what always makes it horrible for me. Thinking about what if I had so and so in my arms. I am glad you are alright. Get better!!! And bask in the relaxation of it. :)
I am a find of Kim's (so you know who I am) I am hypoglycemic (LOW BLOOD SUGAR) so I can relate to your dizzy spells fainting. I fainted one time in the middle of sacrament meeting!! REALLY EMBARRASSING! But I have some really good recipes that are for the LOW BLOOD SUGAR diet. So if you ever need some tips just let me know I would be happy to help because it is not the easiest thing to be told to avoid all sugar, bread, and other things!
Amberly, I just got around to reading this. Hope you are okay. Drink water...talk to me about being dizzy.
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