My life: Costco

Beckham strapped to my chest, Seneca in the front of the cart and Cooper a little tornado swirling around in the general vicinity of the cart. Shopping goes smoothly, grateful I know the store well enough to go directly to the things on my list. Hearing myself say, "please watch where you're going" many times as the distracted Cooper almost runs into several people and their carts. The looks of amusement on shopper's faces as they observe me attempting to manuver costco-sized items into my cart with Beckham in his little pouch and keeping one eye on Cooper. Thankfully Seneca is smiling at everyone passing by.

"We don't need a snack," I hear myself say, "we'll eat lunch in just a minute." Deciding that while hot dogs are all in all pretty disgusting, the kid never gets them at home and I can handle him eating one today considering he has been a very good helper, straining to lift items into my cart while saying, "I am very strong, mom." Yes, you are Coop.

Parking the cart next to a table in the food court of Costco where Coop can save the table, Senny continues flirting with the passers-by and I wait in line for our lunch. Grateful the line is fairly short. Order lunch, while keeping my head turned to see the kids. Handing my debit card to the lady who says, "cash or check, ma'am." Ah, thus the reason I second-guessed myself when I hit the "none" button when the little machine asked if I wanted cash back. Hmm. Well, nevermind I reply as I had neither. Return to the cart and proceed to the exit, frustrated, but not nearly as distraught as the Coopster who had his little heart set on eating a hot dog under an umbrella. Thinking quickly, I present plan B which is to grab lunch somewhere else on the way home and getting vetoed by both Cooper and Seneca who was patiently waiting to eat already. Turn around, go to ATM, get cash, find another table, park cart again and get in line... which is now super long. of course.

Finally order food, get back to the table, unwrap the hot dog so the salivating child can amuse everyone around us by saying how delicious it is. Open baby food and assist Senny in inhaling the peas while still seating in the cart. Yes, Beckham is still strapped to me, asleep. Next come the baby food apricots. Oops, someone smiled at Seneca, she got excited, whacked my arm and apricots are everywhere- covering her hand, shirt and pants... "Mom! my hot dog!" oh, man- it stinks when the dog just won't stay in the bun! Fix the hot dot, give Seneca a quick wipe down, trying not to smile at the little old lady staring at me from across the aisle. Get a few more bites into Seneca as two women walk by me, "oh, my! she has her hands full, aren't they cute! Oh my gosh, she's got another one over there, did you see she has another one?" She's talking loud enough for me to hear her, but not talking directly to me... do I respond? Nope, they keep walking and I put the dog back in the bun again. Give Senny a little milk, direct Cooper to the garbage can and whew, we're once again headed toward the exit.

We uneventfully make it through the parking lot, strap one, two and three into carseats, unload the cart into the back of the car, return the cart to it's corral and make my way out of the parking lot. Darn it, I turned the wrong way, I was going to get gas before we leave. Too much traffic, I'm not turning around. On the freeway. "Oh no, mom!" what? "I gotta go potty!" now? seriously? can you hold it until we get home? no response. "MOM!" ok, ok. take the child seriously. "the wet is coming out!" Going to the bathroom on the side of the road is acceptable during long road trips when there is not a quick place to stop. Not necessarily on the side of the road between my house and costco, but that, my friends, is where it happened today. Yep, on I-10 westbound between Elliot and Baseline he dropped his pants. So grateful right now that I have a big car and can pretend the massive amounts of traffic passing by can not see this lovely display. Strap him back in, find his receipt (it has a smiley face on it, a treasure) and we're on our way again.

Engage in a five-minute conversation about how yes, Dutch does need a carwash, but it isn't going to happen right now. Yes, he's dirty and yes, he really wants to be clean, but we don't have time right now. Cruising down Baseline Seneca is jabbering away trying to join the conversation and I hear, "Oh, Seneca, you're awfully noisy!" What?? You're calling HER noisy?? I try not to laugh out loud. Twice more before we pull onto Bloch Road does he say, "Oh Senny bug, you're awfully noisy!" Hilarious, really, considering the source.

Pull into the driveway. Unbuckle numero uno, he flits about and finally makes it into the house. Carry numero tres into the house, he'll have to wait a few more minutes to eat, back out to get Senny. Change her, get her to bed. Bring the freezer things in, put them away. Get Coop in his bed. Retrieve Beckham and his bottle, feed and change him. Unload the rest of the car. Get Beckham into his bed. Now please tell me that being a mother is not an adventure. or exhausting. I am grateful for Costco, grateful for the fact that everything is huge and I won't have to go back for a while. The end.