Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My thoughts

I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to start this dang thing for too long so I just did and we'll see where it goes. I wondered for a while whether to blog about this recent short-lived pregnancy and miscarriage. Upon first learning I was pregnant, we didn't want anyone to know simply because it was so early. And perhaps for the very reason that if it didn't last I didn't want to go around to all my friends and say, "uh, nevermind..." Then when we learned it was over, I suppose I wanted it quiet simply because I hadn't digested it all myself. I think there are still hidden lessons to be learned in this experience, but once it all became real to me it was strange that I hadn't shared it with those close to me.

I know not everyone is like that. Lots of you are secret-keepers and obviously have issues with me sharing details here in the public realm. I could simply say that if reading about recent events in the Robinson home bothers you, then don't read anymore. But that's rude, and I really don't feel that way. I have started to question whether I should have put it out there to begin with and if I should abandon all talk on the subject immediately. The fact is that currently this blog is serving as my journal- yep, it's pretty public, but this is where I have recorded what's happening around here. My favorite blogs to read and the ones I peruse most often are ones that I feel are "real." There is one inparticular that I really enjoy... the author writes from her soul and let's her readers in, and she writes for herself, not to please anyone else. I suppose one purpose of my blogging is to share fun things about my kids with family and friends far away, but another is to simply have a place to record my thoughts and feelings about things that are happening in my world right now.

I apologize if I have offended anyone, but I also feel that in order to speak my truth, I'm going to continue sharing what's on my mind. I admit it's not always well thought-out, incredibly tactful or presented in lavish writing style, but it's me at the moment.

On a lighter note, and to humor those of you who come here for updates on the littles...
after getting out of the bathtub tonight, I had asked Cooper a few times to please go find some underwear and pajamas. After repeating myself probably three time I still had a wild naked boy flying around and said, "oh man, this is such a bummer." Immediately he flew up the stairs while calling out, "I'm listening now, mom!" Rest assured that one thing I'm not around here is bored.

For Diane's sake: the garage was incredibly full of stuff, Denten just forgot to take the "before" photo before he cleared out the junk! and I never got a call today with HcG results... I'm taking that as a good sign. I'm sure I'll hear from them tomorrow and I'm fairly confident that this stuff is working as I am now moving to the couch in hopes of not moving again until this pain in my abdomen goes away. Good thing these kiddos are all sound asleep!

5 comments:

tenacious d said...

Thanks for the update! It looked like you guys had spent the weekend painting the walls and organizing three cans of paint and an extension cord. Hahahah.

I put your name on the prayer roll today.

Holladay Photo said...

That's sad if anyone is giving you a hard time for being you on your blog. I think you are a beautiful writer and I too always enjoy the 'real' blogs. Thanks for your thoughts- Patria

Nancy said...

i like your blog. i think you are a beautiful writer and it's always interesting to hear your thoughts.

Becky said...

Amberly,

It's been a long time since I've had a chance to come read your blog and, wow!--so much had happened to you that my head is spinning!

I am so grateful for your blog...it is one of the first that I stumbled on when I first started blogging...I appreciate how real you are!

maggie said...

Amberly, I have always enjoyed reading your true thoughts and feelings. I appreciate your honesty, and I too enjoy reading blogs that seem "real." I have never been good at describing my feelings, so unfortunately I usually don't. This is something that I am working on. Your family is beautiful!