I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to start this dang thing for too long so I just did and we'll see where it goes. I wondered for a while whether to blog about this recent short-lived pregnancy and miscarriage. Upon first learning I was pregnant, we didn't want anyone to know simply because it was so early. And perhaps for the very reason that if it didn't last I didn't want to go around to all my friends and say, "uh, nevermind..." Then when we learned it was over, I suppose I wanted it quiet simply because I hadn't digested it all myself. I think there are still hidden lessons to be learned in this experience, but once it all became real to me it was strange that I hadn't shared it with those close to me.
I know not everyone is like that. Lots of you are secret-keepers and obviously have issues with me sharing details here in the public realm. I could simply say that if reading about recent events in the Robinson home bothers you, then don't read anymore. But that's rude, and I really don't feel that way. I have started to question whether I should have put it out there to begin with and if I should abandon all talk on the subject immediately. The fact is that currently this blog is serving as my journal- yep, it's pretty public, but this is where I have recorded what's happening around here. My favorite blogs to read and the ones I peruse most often are ones that I feel are "real." There is one inparticular that I really enjoy... the author writes from her soul and let's her readers in, and she writes for herself, not to please anyone else. I suppose one purpose of my blogging is to share fun things about my kids with family and friends far away, but another is to simply have a place to record my thoughts and feelings about things that are happening in my world right now.
I apologize if I have offended anyone, but I also feel that in order to speak my truth, I'm going to continue sharing what's on my mind. I admit it's not always well thought-out, incredibly tactful or presented in lavish writing style, but it's me at the moment.
On a lighter note, and to humor those of you who come here for updates on the littles...
after getting out of the bathtub tonight, I had asked Cooper a few times to please go find some underwear and pajamas. After repeating myself probably three time I still had a wild naked boy flying around and said, "oh man, this is such a bummer." Immediately he flew up the stairs while calling out, "I'm listening now, mom!" Rest assured that one thing I'm not around here is bored.
For Diane's sake: the garage was incredibly full of stuff, Denten just forgot to take the "before" photo before he cleared out the junk! and I never got a call today with HcG results... I'm taking that as a good sign. I'm sure I'll hear from them tomorrow and I'm fairly confident that this stuff is working as I am now moving to the couch in hopes of not moving again until this pain in my abdomen goes away. Good thing these kiddos are all sound asleep!