Let's be honest. This particular blog has been lacking in any sort of depth lately and it's not for lack of thoughts going on up here. I think the trouble is first, I haven't been drawn to blog lately and second, the thoughts in my head are so much clearer than the words that are trying to describe them.
I feel as though I have been a distant witness to what others might call adverstiy or tragedy. There are blogs that are following the paths of families who have had unfortunate things happen to them, numerous incidents in close-to-home news and events within our own family, but I don't know whether to call them accidents or not. I hesitate to claim them as tragedy myself because I know that there is a lot of good that comes out of such events, but also heartache and sorrow. I heard of another such incident this past weekend while we were in Southern Utah and stopped to think about these things when Grandma Delores said, "will this ever end?" meaning the streak of "bad luck" in their small town.
I had long conversations with Grandma about the benefit of seeing the good in what's happening around you rather than always focusing on the negative. Grandma tends to limit herself with comments involving the words, "I can't," or "I used to be able to..." or demeaning her capability. If you happen to have experience with those of this generation, you may know that the term, "set in their ways," is quite appropriate, but it was fun to see Grandma rephrase things as she started noticing her words. She would say things simply to humor me, but at least she's thinking!
Another thing that these recent events have made me realize is that all of them are involving people who are now counting their blessings. They are grateful for those family and friends who step up and and support and love and fill in the gaps. They are grateful for health and strength and mention that they took it for granted back when they had it. It makes me more committed to appreciating what I have now instead of waiting for tragedy to strike and then look back to see how good I had it. I was sitting next to Cooper this morning on the couch and while he has tried my patience the past few days, I suddenly saw him again as the sweet little boy that he is, the peaceful spirit that is inside of him and was so grateful that I have the opportunity to kiss his soft cheeks and tickle his healthy body and cuddle with him often. I was reminded to use a kind voice and take the time to teach rather than to reprimand. These children in my life are complete miracles to me and I need to remember to treat them as such. Seneca is turning into a headstrong little girl with a mind of her own and as frustrating as it may be sometimes, Grandpa Dale commented that he wouldn't have it any other way. That he worries about children who are too complacent. He admired her spunk, even when it meant getting into his things, to which he threatened to wallup her... his threats hold no merit when it comes to Senny's sweet smile greeting him.
I suppose the question to ponder (comment or not) is this: Is there such thing as true tragedy? Is there ever really a situation that some good doesn't come out of? My mother's illness seemed to be the most terrible thing that could happen to our family at one point, but so much growth and good has come to everyone involved that I can't call it tragedy. Nor can I say that Ben's experience in London was such- he is an amazing person because of the heartache he went through. I know everyone has these events in their lives, the ones when we're in the middle of them we wonder what in the world we signed up for, but doesn't it always end well? Isn't there always some positive lesson to learn eventually? I hope so. I feel determined that I need to feel the gratitude for my abundance while I have it and not after it's been diminished.