Senny's Angel.

We spent some time with one of Seneca's angels last week; the one that helped her get from Heaven to our house. She hadn't seen Senny since she handed her baby girl to me almost two years ago.

We had dinner together, took a walk and played outside. We talked about Seneca; what life was like when D was pregnant and who this little girl has become in the last two years. We watched as Senny played with her brothers, carried around her baby doll and warmed up to this woman who gave her birth. We took pictures as Seneca showed her where her nose is, her eyes, ears, knees and elbows. We laughed as she told her earthly angel that the cow says "meow." I held back tears as Senny touched her gorgeous shiny hair and put her little hands on her face.

She came with simple gifts for her baby girl; a blanket similar to one she had as a little girl and a scrapbook compiled for the day when our little girl wonders all the things that she might wonder someday. While the gifts weren’t meant for me, they are absolute treasures, providing the answers to future questions about who D is, what she likes, what she looks like and who the man was that helped create her.

We talked about what life was like two years ago and how things unfolded for both of us. I wanted so badly for D to be ok. I wanted her to know she did the right thing and to know that we love this little girl more than either of us could have even imagined. I wanted her to know that she belongs in this family. I think she knows. I hope she knows. It was comforting for me to listen to her share her experience with us; an experience that was beyond difficult in so many ways and yet included moments that made it bearable. Moments when, after she handed her baby to another mother, the spirit whispered to her, “it will be ok.” We went through the entire adoption process knowing Heavenly Father was orchestrating everything and that it would turn out as He saw fit. I’m glad that being on the other side of things, D felt that too.

Seneca was not completely herself as the evening began. She was out of sorts for a while and I think she felt a little of the impact of this event. I tried not to make it a big deal, but the energy was high for everyone involved. I can only imagine the anticipation and anxiousness that D was feeling at the thought of seeing her baby again. I was so grateful that Seneca found herself and was able to show what a fun happy little girl she is to the woman who gave her this life. I’m grateful D got to see her happy and laughing and interacting with her family. I’m grateful that for a moment, D was a part of it.

I held my breath as it was time to say good-bye, wondering if I could have done this if it had been me. Wondering if I could have come and spent an evening with the sweet little girl to which I had offered a different life, a better life. and then walked away. Senny went to her easily and was generous with her hugs, squeezes and kisses. They laughed and played and smiled and then had to say good-bye. The pictures we have of the evening are priceless.

As we stood on the porch, Seneca reaching out to D for one more hug, again and again, my heart ached for her. At the same time, I was so grateful that she was in tune with the spirit and made a choice that has blessed my life every day. Seneca is ours because of her angels, one in particular. As I hugged Senny’s beautiful strong little body before I put her to bed, I thanked my lucky stars that I get to do that every night. I get to kiss her sweet face and hear her laughter and watch her learn and discover and grow. Is there a better gift in all the world?