Sunday, February 20, 2011

sacrifice.

Several years ago my dad was called to preside over a large group of LDS missionaries in London, England.  The call was to serve for three years and was also extended to my mom and brother, seeing as he was still living at home and would be moving with them.  My brother was in junior high school at the time.  My sister Lindsay was at college and Katelyn was trying to decide if she was going to marry Wade.  The call to serve implied sacrifice, which was obvious on the part of my parents, not as blatantly assumed on the part of my siblings.  This experience for my family ended up being the greatest lesson in sacrifice I have ever witnessed or been a part of.

Each person in my family, myself least of all, laid something on the alter for this experience.  My sisters sacrificed more than anyone anticipated would be necessary in ways that created heartache, stretching and often a deep sense of loneliness.   The greatest sacrifice, however, came on the part of my brother and my parents who were first-hand witnesses to his struggles.  As the darkness of the call seemed all-consuming, we wondered what good was to come out of this sacrifice.  Today in Relief Society we briefly revisited the story of Adam when he was offering a sacrifice at an alter after being cast out of the garden of Eden.  When he was approached and asked why he was doing that, he responded with, “I know not.”  I heard that answer several times as conversations with my parents turned to questions… why were we asked to do this?  Why must he suffer?  Isn’t it time to come home?  Always  the answer was the same.  My dad would respond saying that he didn’t know why, only that he was asked to be there and they were supposed to stay and finish this call.  The answer, while affirming my dad’s faith, was often frustrating to my sisters and I who were ready to see my brother removed from the hell he was living.  While sacrifice brings forth blessings, the question became, “is this worth sacrificing a son?  a brother?”

We were asked today what blessings come from sacrifice.  I can not share the personal blessings each of my family members received, but I know that Ben is who he is today because of the low, dark valleys he suffered through in London.  He is infinitely more compassionate and understanding of others than before he went.  He is wiser and more competent than any other adolescent I have ever met.  I believe he has a relationship with the Lord that for him couldn’t have been developed any other way than to come to the end of his light, be succumbed with darkness and feel what it is to need the Savior to survive.  He has a perspective that is unique and in large part exists because of his sacrifice.  He may claim different blessings than I see, but I am grateful that after crawling through the refiner’s fire, he came out exemplary. 

When this call was extended, blessings were promised to our entire family.  My parents left with the surety that their children would be watched over in their absence.  Again, I can not speak for my sisters, who had many more dark days than I during those three years, but I know without a doubt that our family was blessed.  I know that I received blessings directly from my Father in Heaven because of my parents’ obedience and willingness to serve.  During the time they were gone, I was blessed with amazing experiences in regard to my marriage, my education and my own spiritual growth.  Within those three years of sacrifice, I was also blessed with a son.  There is no denying the fact that sacrifice brings forth blessings.  I was fortunate to have sacrificed the least through this experience and be blessed with so much, but I know that my family is closer and stronger and has been blessed beyond measure in Ben’s character alone for the sacrifices made. 

Francis Webster was at a meeting regarding the Martin Handcart company disaster where many were criticizing the leaders of the company for decisions made.  Webster stood and said, “No.  You may not judge.  You weren’t there.  Every person came out of that experience knowing God in their extremities.  No one would take that back.” 

I believe that thus far in my life the greatest sacrifices I have been asked to make are of my time and my comfort.  I also believe that someday I will be asked to give much more.  I am grateful for the law of sacrifice and for the blessings obedience brings about.

9 comments:

The Silly Witch said...

I like this. i needed to hear this today as I've been pulled away from my family more than I wanted to be with tasks for my busy calling.

Emily said...

Amen.

Croslands said...

loved it. great perspective.

Partridge Family said...

I am extremely grateful for the sacrifice made by your family. I didn't realize it at the the time what a toll it was taking on Ben and everyone else. The impact that you, and everyone in your family has had on thousands of others will never be forgotten, or taken for granted. You and your family have touched our life in a profound way. We love you. Thank you again for your sacrifice. Love you.

Michelle Burk said...

I find it interesting that we always find wisdom AFTER the fact, but during the darkness we sometimes feel like we can't even breathe, let alone live through the day. If only we had enough faith to step back and see the whole picture, all the time, maybe we wouldn't become so discouraged during the dark days.

kimmalee said...

I watched and heard about your family's struggles only from a distance, but am amazed at all that your family was asked to bear and even more amazed at your brother and the man he has become. He's truly incredible for somehow wading through everything he did, and for becoming the man and missionary he is. Incredible.

Mallory said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mallory said...

I'm so glad you wrote this down. I love BJ. He really is incredible and I'm so glad that looking back it'd clear what a great man those years made him into. He is a wonderful person and such a great missionary.

Patria said...

Hi! It was nice to take a break in the day and sit down and I thought coming here I'd get something good to read. True! I loved this! I appreciate this persepctive because my parents were in Peru while yours were in England. My sister ended up coming home and staying with Mark and I their last year of the calling. Their calling was so demanding and everyone in our family learned something about sacrifice through the experience. I loved how you wrote about sacrifice and I love the quote from Adam you reminded me of, I tend not to take note of it like I should, but it's really helpful. The Francis Webster quote is really good too. At work I often wish all kinds of experiences could be taken back, so to say, and I think any work people in the world do to relieve and prevent suffering is essential, but at the same time, my persepctive of things is so limited. Taking the time to reflect on these things is faith promoting. Thank you!