Some days I just want to sleep. Actually sleep. Not just lay in bed and pretend that I don't hear what's happening in the rest of my house. Not just lay and think about the things I should be doing or what we need at the store or what we are having for dinner. Actually sleep. Soundly. In peace and quiet.
Some days I just want to look fantastic in the jeans I used to look fantastic in.
Some days I just want to eat what I want with no regrets.
Some days I just want to come home after running all around kingdom come and have my house picked up and wiped down.
Some days I just want to sit and listen and watch Cooper play the piano after a tough song has clicked and all the counting and rhythm is correct and the dynamics are in place and he is in his element.
Some days I just want to sit at the kitchen table with Seneca and color while she tells me all kinds of stories that make me baffle at her imagination.
Some days I just want to lay in bed with Beckham and have him tell me how much he loves me and listen to him read and let me kiss his face over and over.
Some days I just want dinner to appear and be delicious and be eaten without complaint by everyone.
Some days I just want to sit in the rocking chair with Stella laying on my shoulder and never move again. I want to smell her and hug her and feel her baby soft skin and listen to her breathing change.
Some days I just want Fischer to be the dog of my dreams. I want to have him listen the first time, shed no hair and instinctually know just what I'm thinking.
Some days I just want to walk into the laundry room and have all the laundry clean, folded and back where it belongs.
Some days I just want to run away.
Some days I just want to sit on the couch and melt away into distant lands and story lines as we read books together, laughing and pretending and predicting and not worrying about what needs to be done next or what time it is.
Some days I want Denten to walk in and take over and have work disappear.
Some days I want Denten to throw his phone into the ocean.
Some days I want to throw my phone into the ocean.
Some days I wish I lived by the ocean.
Some days I just wish I had one million dollars to make this house fantastic.
Some days I just wish I had someone brilliant to tell me how to make this house fantastic.
One day, a long time ago, I wished that I was married to a great man who had a great job that he enjoyed and provided for our family. I wished for children who laughed, loved me, loved music and books. I wished for a house big enough to enjoy our family and friends with a laundry room adequate to handle lots of projects. One day in the middle of dreaming dreams, it seems they started coming true. I just forgot to wish for sleep. I'm sure it will happen someday.