Happy Birthday Boogs!

I have started this post about five times realizing that my brother is a very hard person for me to describe. There is the innocent, light-hearted boy he was four years ago before he left for London, there are a few different versions of himself that evolved while he was away and there is the man he came home as.

Ben is the boy who knew the name of every airplane on the planet before he started school. He knew all the functions of all the gadgets in a cockpit and had big plans to be a pilot. He asked questions and was curious. When eight-years-old came he did not simply follow suite and agree to be baptized. He needed some kind of knowledge for himself and listened to all the missionary discussions before making his careful decision. He was amazing to me.

He is the boy who I hurt indescribably for as he struggled with a profound loneliness that I can't begin to imagine. Trying to be brave and supportive while at the same time wanting it all to end, he developed a deep loyalty to his country; he learned how to associate converse with adults better than any other young teenager I have come in contact with. He became very comfortable with himself and found solace in quiet places while living an a very loud and busy city. He displayed that the closest, truest friends we have may not be our peers, but perhaps adolescent men with name tags representing Jesus Christ; true friends may include our parents and true friends don't have to be human.

As Ben returned home from London to join his classmates for his junior year of high school, I've watched from afar as the friends he left are no longer the ones he chooses to spend his time with. He does not value designer jeans, hanging out in front of the television or expensive cars. He values productivity, adventure, hard work and being outdoors. He values his hands, and I admire them. He searches for friends that share his interests, but is quite comfortable with who he is and won't change that in order to conform or impress. He can be stubborn and sometimes has a hard time seeing things from another's viewpoint, but he's compassionate and sincere. He's straightforward, what you see is what you get, no pretenses.

Ben currently comes with two components in my mind: Levi and Lewis. The Land Cruiser and the chocolate lab. Lewis saved Ben. He was sent from above to heal a very broken heart and provide a much needed companion. He is so much more than a dog to me, and that's saying a lot- I'm not a pet-lover; but the impact he had on Ben's life is incredible. Levi currently serves as an exploring companion regardless of whether another human being is joining the two of them. She's complete with a winch and a (homemade) roof rack and is the vehicular version of Ben. She is different from most other of her kind, not mainstream, equipped to pull others out of sticky situations and pretty good-looking.

I'm grateful Ben is still here. I'm grateful to have a brother who has weathered an incredible storm and come out stronger than expected. He is a fantastic friend and uncle and I love him forever.