Friday, September 12, 2008

Sweetrolls and Tears

Yesterday we made these, recipe courtesy of Emily. They look good, don't they? They taste even better.
This trip to McCall has been different than those in the past. Mom and dad feel the need to work all the time, always cleaning up and finding places for things. I suppose owning the place means they can't just sit down and relax. Hope that changes or what's the point of it all, really? It's different this time because I usually have my siblings with me. I've missed them. I've missed my husband. A lot. I am an independent enough mother that I'm comfortable travelling with my children sans spouse, but it always makes me grateful that I have him as a partner in this life experience I'm going through.
Last night as I was laying with my Cooper, he started crying. It had been a long day. A fun one filled with hours at the beach. Uncle Ben and two of his friends have joined us and Cooper loved following them around, helping them with their projects and having them build him magnificent sand castles. He was thoroughly exhausted, barely able to keep his eyes open as we talked in the darkness. As I held his little body on the bottom bunk, I heard a quiet, "I miss dad." Well, that did it. Tears filled my eyes too as we both lay there missing dad.
I told Dent a few days ago that I was cold. That it wasn't quite the same this time. He told me to stop complaining and enjoy it here. I'm not complaining. I have enjoyed it, but sometimes it's ok for vacations to come to an end, especially when Dad is waiting for us at home.
Being away from reality gives one a new perspective on that reality. There are aspects of mine that I'm not anxious to return to. That thought made me wonder why I need to. If I don't like things the way they are at home, then why not change them? I need my daily routine to change a little, there are things I'd like to incorporate into my days that I haven't been and I hope that I can keep this big picture with me and not slip into the same old patterns when we return home. Time away reveals what I'd like life to be like when I return. I'm ready for some changes.
But for now I'll cook with my mom in this fabulous kitchen, cuddle with my sweet babies and watch my dad water-ski. And postpone reality for one more day. And eat these.


Croslands said...

That was so sweet. I think I know what you are saying here. I've been away on vacations like that and I just wanted to get back to home with my husband.

I hope you are able to make the changes that you want in your life.

Jana said...

I know what you mean. I feel like all my trips are without Jason. And while it is fun, I am always ready go to back home.

Kari Ann said...

It looks like it was a fun adventure...but I do agree that sweetest moments in life are often in the every day routine that becomes the cornerstone of who we are.