I've been procrastinating this. Not a great way to start a new year, but I wasn't quite ready to acknowledge it yet. I wasn't ready for 2009 yet and it came anyway. It's been pretty crummy so far, a lousy few days but it's time for a turn-around. Time to pull out of the funk, get over it and move on.
Last year I set a few areas of focus for myself, and while perfection wasn't quite achieved, there was noticeable progress made. Most significantly in the realm of focusing on my blessings rather than my lack. I made a very conscious effort to be grateful for the little things in my life and notice that there are blessings in every situation if I choose to see them. The focus on gratitude was good for me and trickled into my family. Cooper has learned what it means to be grateful and we are both continually learning that there is positive to be found in less-than-ideal circumstances if we look for it.
I've struggled finding a replacement focus the past few weeks. A few thoughts have occurred to me, but none seemed just right. I've laid claim on one, holding it gingerly and not loving it yet but knowing it's probably the right one. I think it's uncomfortable. I think it's scary and means I'll probably have to do hard things, but it also means I will grow and it's high time for some more of that.
While I had a brief (that's how I'm choosing to see it) period of what one (my mother) might call disobedience, I don't consider my recent self the disobedient sort. I may question and play devil's advocate occasionally, but I'm not disobedient. I can, however, take it to the next level and therein lies the plan.
My dad has taught me that all blessings stem from obedience. It may be a selfish reason to be obedient, but I'll take the blessings, please. Today in Gospel Doctrine, Sister Austin pointed out that in the introduction to the Doctrine and Covenants, it states that the revelations contained therein are set forth with explanations about fundamental matters.. including the necessity for obedience. Simplifying it greatly, the necessity for obedience includes the fact that it's the conduit that will get us to heaven. That's where I'm headed and if that's how I've got to get there, then I better be practicing. In Relief Society, Sister Grandberry taught that the Savior provided bridges for us to accomplish the things that would be hard to assist us in our success. One of those bridges is obedience. If the Savior found it necessary to obey, who am I chart a different course?
I plan to implement a higher level of obedience in a few different realms of my life. I receive promptings from the spirit and from my angels on a daily basis. There are days when I'm especially in tune with them and those promptings are very clear and obvious to me. I can do better at following through with what my Heavenly Father is trying to relay to me. The thoughts come to perform certain actions and rather than brushing them off as passing thoughts, I will act. I will be more obedient and acknowledge that I have worked hard to receive the blessing of having the spirit communicate with me so frequently and not discard his message.
I have the privilege of serving in the church with some remarkable women and could do much better in fulfilling my calling, being more obedient in accomplishing my assigned tasks and in turn, easing another's burden.
I have the blessing of being guided by a living prophet who heeds calls and warnings that come from my Father in Heaven. I can choose to obey, to follow without question and know that when I have the Lord beside me, I can not go wrong.
My husband is not the domineering type and I'm not the submissive, but I do acknowledge and respect the power that he holds in our home and am going to attempt to see the guidance and direction given as stemming from the Priesthood and obey it's counsel. That is a sacred power to me and I appreciate that Denten uses it reverently and that it blesses our home.
It's all about doing a little better and a little more than I did last year. To serve more pleasantly both in my home and out, to listen and obey the instruction the Lord gives me in all forms and to look forward to the blessings that will be the result. It has not escaped my mind that if last year's focus rubbed off on my children, this one has the same potential, and that is going to be fantastic.