Tuesday, March 16, 2010

order, and daughters.

I spent a little time organizing my head today. With so many things going on, I have felt scattered, which isn't doing much for my goal this year of maintaining order. My home is wondering what on earth is going on... I packed madly for a few weeks and then nothing. Limbo. clutter has worked its way back in and it's been driving me crazy. I've also had a million little notes about current projects floating around that needed to be wrangled and put into one place. Mission accomplished. lists have been made and we're back in business.

I had a moment today when I glanced at seneca that made me wonder what on earth I'm doing. Being a mom to a little girl, that is. It was this sudden weight I felt, like the responsibility of raising a righteous daughter of God just hit me and I felt completely inadequate and not up to the task. Perhaps it is my own experience as a teenager that makes me fear that time for her, but for some reason raising a daughter seemed much more taxing than raising a son today. She hasn't been difficult in the least, but there are so many vulnerabilities out there, so much to teach her to beware of without scaring her. I know that the Spirit will guide us and that she has amazing angels helping both of us along, and thank heavens for that. She has amazing things to accomplish on earth and I want to be someone who helps and assists and not hinders her potential. She is growing up slowly and is more beautiful to me every day. I'm so grateful to have her in my home.

the weather is completely fabulous right now. the kids were outside most of the day, and I didn't even freak out when the little lady decided barefoot was the way to go. it is warm and beautiful. and I finished my book... thanks to the hours spent playing outside.


Aunt Debi said...

Actually Amberly, your experience as a teenager will make you a better mother because you will understand what she will encounter. Raising girls is harder than boys, I think. Just set high standards and she will keep them. You and Dent are wonderful parents.

Lindsay said...

she chose to be barefoot? the girl who would scream when i took her shoes off for bed time?