Thursday, January 6, 2011

the truth.

I think I went all day without yelling at my children.  Take that as an honest confession.  That was my goal today.  I got stern, I gritted my teeth, I may have even balled up my fists at my sides, but I don’t think I yelled. 

Can I be honest?  Ok.  I dislike Cooper going to his current school for oh, so many reasons, but one of them is that I have been disappointed several times when he comes home.  I look forward to him getting home all day- I hate him being gone.  I know in my gut that he is not in the very best environment he could be and when I think about it eats away at me.  So, I’m excited when 2:30 rolls around and he comes through the front door.  Until his siblings wake up.  Sometimes it’s a fun afternoon of learning and playing and music and fun, but sometimes it’s an afternoon of bugging and aggravating and complaining and rudeness.  I am much better equipped to handle the hours that hold the dinnertime and bedtime routines when we have had a pleasant afternoon, but I am not so well-equipped to handle that oh-so-special time of day when my patience has already been rolled out and stamped on.  Seeing as I have such a busy social life after 7:00 p.m. (read: sarcasm) you’d think I wouldn’t be in a rush for these sweet little ones to be tucked in tight, but I usually am.

The motivation I need to find order in this house and in my schedule is eluding me.  I’m sure that’s adding to my frazzled state.  Perhaps I should ask it to come back.  I need a heavy dose of Love and Logic and a major shot of consistency.  And I’m listening closely for the answer to my prayer, “how do I help my children love each other?  treat each other kindly?”  My first prayer had the term, “make them…” but I quickly saw my error.  I’m sure He’ll answer when I quit gritting my teeth and find empathy when doling out consequences. 

So tomorrow.  I will use my time wisely.  I will be patient and kind.  and not yell.  and take deep breaths. 

7 comments:

Amy said...

You'll get there...in the meantime just succumb to the chaos. At least that is what I tell myself! Let me know when you find the answer!

Lindsay said...

i didn't quite dawn on me that THAT miss kerry is their teacher. i had the opprotunity to talk to her a few years ago in my parents' stake about creating a preschool of my own. my mom kept telling me how excellent her preschool was, and i was totally impressed when i talked to her. beckham looks ALL SO GROWN UP in those photos. oh, and in regards to your other post...i'm glad i'm not the only mom out there when her husband travels TONS, that needs to be reminded to be patien and kind and take deep breaths. and i've always thought you to be a great mom, amberly. and in many ways i think we parent much the same. i always enjoyed our conversations on kids and family and parenting when you lived over here. hope all is well. take care! lindsay in SP

The Silly Witch said...

describes my life sometimes. everyone is just so tired at the end of the day, they don't always learn much at school(accept how to emotionally handle school), and then you have to do homework with them and you want to try to teach them something one on one but you have little ones who need attention and if you turn the TV on the kindergartener wants to watch and if you do crafts at the table the two year old wants the markers for wall art and love to crawl across the table...

Good job for not yelling. Love you.

Sincerely, Raynie said...

I have far too many days like this... as far as Coop's education/school atmosphere, I have found Kiah to be put into the same situation here in Nevada. I always dreaded sending her to school and I felt like she wasn't getting what she deserved and what she was capable of learning (because in MO, she was learning SO much more). Matt and I finally decided that we are going to be pulling her out of school for the remaining time we are here in NV and homeschool her. It will be a HUGE adjustment for me, but I know it's what's best, and needs to happen. Once we move to CO in a year or so we will focus on finding her the best school possible. Good luck with you guys!!!

Michelle Burk said...

Wish I had some great wisdom to share with you. I think we all feel the same way. There are waves when things are going great and everything is working out. But then we get off track and have truly had it.
That's why we have Hope. Nothing can stay bad everyday, forever. It's destined to get better! That's why we keep going, day after day. And I can tell you it's true--things always do change and get better.

Jess said...

We just went back to (pre)school yesterday after a long break and there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth from everyone. It is hard to go back--good luck on getting back on your routine.

ANd I know what you mean about love and logic--I find I need to re-read the book about every six months or so to remind myself how to be a good discipliner without yelling. Hang in there!

Annika said...

Must be going around! ivory and Banks started at each other this morning bright and early and it has continued throughout the day. The level of whining, fighting, hitting, tattling, and back talking is far beyond my patience!!! I totally empathize about counting the seconds until little people go to bed. Simply just so they will stop fighting with each other and so I don't have to deal! Hope today was better!