I think I went all day without yelling at my children. Take that as an honest confession. That was my goal today. I got stern, I gritted my teeth, I may have even balled up my fists at my sides, but I don’t think I yelled.
Can I be honest? Ok. I dislike Cooper going to his current school for oh, so many reasons, but one of them is that I have been disappointed several times when he comes home. I look forward to him getting home all day- I hate him being gone. I know in my gut that he is not in the very best environment he could be and when I think about it eats away at me. So, I’m excited when 2:30 rolls around and he comes through the front door. Until his siblings wake up. Sometimes it’s a fun afternoon of learning and playing and music and fun, but sometimes it’s an afternoon of bugging and aggravating and complaining and rudeness. I am much better equipped to handle the hours that hold the dinnertime and bedtime routines when we have had a pleasant afternoon, but I am not so well-equipped to handle that oh-so-special time of day when my patience has already been rolled out and stamped on. Seeing as I have such a busy social life after 7:00 p.m. (read: sarcasm) you’d think I wouldn’t be in a rush for these sweet little ones to be tucked in tight, but I usually am.
The motivation I need to find order in this house and in my schedule is eluding me. I’m sure that’s adding to my frazzled state. Perhaps I should ask it to come back. I need a heavy dose of Love and Logic and a major shot of consistency. And I’m listening closely for the answer to my prayer, “how do I help my children love each other? treat each other kindly?” My first prayer had the term, “make them…” but I quickly saw my error. I’m sure He’ll answer when I quit gritting my teeth and find empathy when doling out consequences.
So tomorrow. I will use my time wisely. I will be patient and kind. and not yell. and take deep breaths.