saying good-bye

Well, let me tell you what breaks my heart all to pieces.  watching my sister say good-bye to my baby before she gets on a plane with her two sweet littles and flies half-way across the world.  after a weekend of cousin fun, the last bath together and the last story at bedtime was just about too much for me. 

Grandpa and Lindsay saw them off at the airport, they were ready for an adventure! 

This is the thing.  I live in Arizona, Kate lived in California.  I didn’t see her everyday, but I talked to her often and knew they were in a comfortable place in life.  Now I have to remind myself several times a week that I can’t just touch her name on my phone and be connected instantly and talk about raising children, or athlete husbands, or redecorating our houses, or what’s for dinner or mom and dad or the latest mitt/obama issue.  I miss her.  like crazy.  and it’s strange to say that because like I mentioned, it’s not like she was just next door before, but it seems space is physical and sometimes I can feel it. Sometimes I can feel the whole ocean between us, especially when I know that little Tessa, brave as she is, is having a hard time finding her bearings on new soil and while that breaks my heart, it completely devastates me to think of my sister having to navigate that heartache on her own so far away.  There have been moments that I would have given anything to get on a plane, fly a million hours just to sit on the bed and cry with her for a while, because then at least we could be doing it in the same place and not half a world away.  And while sometimes I hate that she’s far away, most of the time I’m so excited for her.  and proud of her.  and grateful that while this time is trying in a way never anticipated, it is also the beginning of her living a dream so big and so wonderful and one that her children will be better a hundred times over for.  I try to put aside envy and be thrilled that she and Wade have this opportunity and that they were brave enough to take it.  I’ve also felt so grateful that my sisters and I have each other.  Poor Lindsay has had to listen to me far more than normal because she gets two-sisters worth of phone calls these days.  Heaven bless texting and email and skype and facetime because they keep us connected and without connection, I’m not sure how we would fare.  Kate’s last blog post held profound words in that Heavenly Father will answer our prayers if we are choosing the right and doing our best.  Bringing peace to that little girl’s lonely heart is worth me choosing the right and doing my best to ensure that He delivers.