shabby baby picture princess!

Miss Seneca Kate

Seneca simply radiates joy. She provides us with sweet, tender moments as well as gleeful, happy squeals all during a day’s time. Seneca is alert and conscious of the world around her, constantly discovering and trying new things. She is curious, kind and persistent. Her eyes light up when she smiles and it’s as if you can see heaven shining right through them. She is playful and happy and adds life and light wherever she is. Our camera loves her and can never capture enough of this picture princess perfect face.

we think seneca's busy, bright personality suits this dress perfectly, although I also believe her smooth, tanned skin and dark hair would make the color in this dress pop! little girls and little dresses from shabby baby. they are so darling!

sides of senny

sleepless thoughts

can't sleep. was sleeping really well until cooper woke up and needed to go to the bathroom. now can't go back to sleep. too many thoughts running through my head. need them to stop. keep coming back to "create."

there are so many changes I want to make right now that it's incredible overwhelming. in my home, my schedule, my personal life.

major spring cleaning needs to take place. do you ever wish for a big block of time with no children so things can get done quickly and easily? except if they were gone, I would be tempted to simply sleep. ironic right now. I need to start in my kitchen. the "pile" is taking over my sanity. mail, preschool papers, random stuff that just keeps growing. gotta find a place for it all.

need to figure out a solution for swimming lessons. I haven't quite worked out what beckham is going to do during my class with seneca. she needs it this year, but the logistics haven't quite fallen into place yet.

reading "a long way gone" right now (well, not right now, but you know). incredible compelling. what a different world we live in. I'm not sure why I was born when and where I was, but gratitude is spilling over.

I need to be running again. I lost my rhythm when I went out of town a bit ago and have found it hard to resume. but my body is feeling it. it is feeling soft and ugly and I hate that feeling. a treadmill would make getting it in every day so much easier these days, but it's not in the cards right now. besides, is running on a treadmill cheating? actually I don't care. it would be a step closer to something. better than this nothingness.

sometimes it's hard to feel like each of my children are getting everything they need. to focus on the activities one needs for their development right now feels like the others are being neglected. I know it all comes back to balance, and they all can get their turn, but it's a little frustrating sometimes.

I told denten this evening (yesterday) that if I had five of me I could keep this house clean and maybe have dinner for him. think of the things I could get done if I could just clone myself! he responded by saying, "and you want another child." that is another post entirely with thoughts still being worked out.

I need to return library books before we go to california this weekend. and make final decisions on our swimming lesson schedule. and choose pictures for senny's project. get clothes clean and ready to pack. see if I need to borrow an extra portable crib or if danae has access to one we can use.

I have been receiving an incredible amount of telemarketing-like calls the past few days. like 25 an hour sometimes. it's ridiculous. I usually resort to leaving my phone off the hook for long periods of time to avoid wondering if it's something I need to answer or not. it's medical companies. what on earth do they want with me??

there. that purged a little of what's bouncing off the walls of my head. maybe sleep will come now. let's just take a deep breath and try this life thing again tomorrow. I've got lots of days in me still. we'll get it right one of these times. good night.

seneca says

this week little miss fancy-pants has decided she knows who everyone is and is happy to point it out. each day as she gets up from her nap, I put her down and she runs to find beckham in his bed. "go-beck," as she goes to find her brother. "bye-beck" as they go to bed or "no beck!" if he happens to have found an open bathroom door and makes a mad dash for the toilet. we prefer bex if his name is to be shortened, but won't complain with her identification. "beck" is spoken with great alliteration, short and definite.

as for the other brother, he's "coopah." exclaimed when she first sees him in the morning, or as he whizzes past us on his bike or today as we were all waiting for cooper in the car ready to go and his seat was disturbingly empty. "Coopah! Coopah!" as if I would drive away without him. It's so fun to have her identify her brothers. and sing about them occasionally.

her new-found talents for identifying people don't stop with this household. Josh, or "Doshy" lives down the street and she reminds us each time we pass his house. She gets pretty mad when it's time to leave "doshy's" house. she whines longingly for him as she points her finger as if that would transport her back there. today I acquired a plate of cinnamon rolls in the middle of 42nd avenue as both shellie's car and mine pulled into the center median, she jumped from her car to hand the plate through my window and raced back. as this two-second exchange ended, seneca got all bouncy in her seat and said, "mama doshy, doshy mama!" so while we haven't mastered the appropriate "sister carter," she can be joshy's mama. sorry finn, we haven't learned how to form the "f" sound yet. doesn't mean we don't love you.

a whole lotta random

- my little bro-in-law is a national champion! he plays for salt lake community college and they took the njcaa national championship title saturday in hutchinson, kansas for the first time in school history. I was dying here in my humble abode as the commentators were relaying the fact that they were down 16 and simply falling apart. they did this last year... got to the final game and let nerves get the best of them. after half-time they came out and played the way they know how and got the job done... and now claim the biggest comeback in junior college history in the championship game. what a fantastic second half... one that no doubt had his mother as tense as can be. oh, how I longed to be there with drew and dent to celebrate. i love that kid like crazy and am thrilled for his success.

- I am a child of the technological generation. I don't know how people lived without dvr. Ok, I know how, because I did all growing up, but what a fabulous invention! however, today I am also grateful for this splendid internet and the fact that when my favorite show is cut off with 15 minutes remaining because of the lack of recording space, I can see the full episode online. whew! the end of the world hasn't come yet. btw, anyone else love brothers and sisters? I do.

- I am currently in the middle of the 4 months when my babies are both one. When beckham was expected and seneca was a reality, people showered their sympathies on me wondering how I would survive with two babies. Besides the fact that lots of mamas do, I wasn't concerned then. I had wanted it too badly to feel sorry for myself. I can see that the next while may be more of a challenge now that they are both mobile and have very distinct opinions. They express themselves with screeches and squeals do their darndest to keep up with the one just older. This is what eight months difference looks like in height...

my children come with a level of stubbornness that I am still learning how to deal with. they know what they want and they are persistent, darn it! that's gonna pay off later in life, right?! the bonus is that they are so stinkin' kissable (seriously, look at the cheeks) and love to play that the loving and the laughter usually outweigh the communication frustrations. usually.

- While I did not put a curse on the house down the street, I must say I'm awfully grateful it hasn't sold. While one might not look at the lady inside and think I had much in common with her, it would be tragic to my life if she moved away. We differ on minor things like the current government situation, the brand of car we are loyal to and the importance of consistently rounding corners, but she's the phone call for things that most may deem trivial. Issues in the kitchen, issues with my children, anything house-and-home related, really. and the fact that nice guy she's married to helped occupy an entire saturday afternoon when my husband was missing is a huge bonus. I like that while she's not nearly as emotional as I am, she's got some somewhere there deep inside. I like that she loves my children and that random treats show up at my door. I like that if a week goes by without dinner arriving at hers, she's ok with that. you'd think her lack of schedule and my fanatic one would clash, but most of the time it just works. it's ok if our houses are sold as a package deal... no one leaves unless the other one can too!

- I've had thoughts rolling around in my head regarding our lesson in relief society sunday on finding joy in the journey... remember what's really important, not sweating the small stuff... taking time to play and letting the mess be ok, enjoy the moment... my thoughts keep bumping into other thoughts and I haven't quite worked them out yet, but it was a good reminder to me to relax a little and enjoy the moments that will be gone all too quickly.

- we're off to san diego this weekend for denten to compete in a half-ironman triathlon in coronado (on coronado? I'm not sure which is proper). he's been so diligent in his training, I'm really excited for him to do this. he's going to do great and fortunate for him, he's married to the world's best un-official cheerleader!

told you it was random.

I just spell-checked this here post of mine. did you know that internet is supposed to be capitalized? I have issues with caps in general and while I do thrive on the world wide web, I don't think caps are necessary. I also use "ok" quite a bit and mr. spell-check doesn't like that either.

the chop.

Navajo tradition has prevented me from having this little boy's hair cut until now. Legend states that if you cut a child's hair before they speak, you are cutting off their ability to talk at all. While I was loving the soft baby hair, it was starting to drive me crazy. I have respect for the tradition (although don't actually believe that my child wouldn't ever speak if not followed), and therefore waited... somewhat impatiently, for this child to speak something, anything to warrant a haircut. We've safely got uh-oh, mama and dada down, so off it came!

Before

After

just in case you wanted to see what was in my mouth, too.

so clean-cut around the ears!

oh so handsome!! mama is so happy.

shellie, you may now throw a party.

these two.

Little Boston was Cooper's first friend when we moved to Phoenix, and his mother, mine. Except for a short time when both were learning how to play with others, they have thoroughly enjoyed each other for the past three-and-a half years.

Boston moved away today and it has been interesting to me how much of that process Cooper understands. He has some very sad and reflective moments when we talk about the Millers and Boston in particular. He knows his friend will now live near his cousins and the fact that they can still share a Legoland trip once in a while has eased the pain of his departure.

Some of Cooper's favorite memories of their time together include time in the swimming pool, park days, geotrax, legos, primary and ward parties, art projects, legoland adventures and preschool.

This morning as I drove them to preschool, they joked and laughed the whole way, playing silly games and laughing so hard with each other. Boston was a wonderful friend for Cooper to learn along-side. We'll miss you like crazy!!

michelle's biceps

this was amusing to me on several levels... first that somehow in an attempt to make the office his own, obama is "snubbing" the brits, you know, punishing them for the fact that his race was mistreated poorly by their countrymen. it's reaching a bit if you ask me. second, that by having a strong body (read: arms) and a mind to accompany it, michelle is out of line in washington, because apparently you've got to have an old-lady hair cut and wear frumpy suits to be considered smart enough to roll with the big fellas intellectually. I personally love the fact that rather than feeling second best in the first-lady position (hillary) or falling between the cracks (laura), michelle obama has embraced her role and is running with it. more power to her! and her sense of style, because having one doesn't make one a ditz...

for you, patria... thanks dad.

stuff on green day

yesterday cooper made the great and spacious building out of big lego blocks. it was very colorful, which was quite authentic in his mind. "it's where laman and lemuel hang out. it looks fun, but it's not the right place to be." can you tell what his favorite scripture story is these days?

this morning I jumped up from my breakfast to get beckham out of the toilet. if he likes splashing in the pool as much as splashing in the toilet, we won't have any problems this summer! he squeals with delight and is quite upset when he's discovered.

I returned from my toilet rescue to find seneca up in my chair eating my granola as fast as she could before getting caught. she is such a little smarty-pants.

cooper was in the kind of mood this morning that asking him to do his jobs made him mad all the way to his toenails. whew! I better look out today. he is also a bit confused about the idea of pinching today. he keeps threatening to punch us all.

in final news, happy irish day from all of us!

the afternoon.

there's a corner in the garage... you know the one, where everything gets dumped and eventually drives you mad? well, not you dad, but most people... anyway, that corner kept growing and was taking over and making me crazy. I figured it wouldn't be so difficult to get it cleaned out this afternoon while the kids were playing outside. what on earth was I thinking? seneca thinks standing on the edge of the street waving and yelling "hi!" to everyone passing by is a great past time. that and carrying around my bags of garbage and watering anything and everything in sight. cooper was a racer on various biking devices zooming in and out of my dirt piles and once beckham woke up, it was a race to sweep before he waddled through my mess. we did get the entire garage swept and put back together, and in the process found some flower seed packets.

yes, we had to plant them. again, what was I thinking? i think we ended up with more dirt on the sidewalk, hands, faces, knees and in hair than in the pots, but cooper enjoyed poking his little finger in the dirt to make a hole for the seeds. bex enjoyed splashing in the water and tasting the dirt and senny kept trying to dig up our efforts. I finally corralled them in the backyard so i could move dutch back into the shade of the garage. you'd think taking them away from the dirt and mess was absolute torture. if you happen to be my neighbors and heard wailing and gnashing of teeth, it was just my children stuck behind the gate, poor poor children. we played in the backyard for a while then came in to eat. the grass is so green and soft right now, I'm loving it outside.

after dinner cooper put on some music because it was time to dance. it happens to be christmas music tonight and somehow I ended up wearing a headlamp on my head trying to get the light to follow him as he danced so he could have a spotlight. I swear this is all his idea. gratefully senny wanted a turn with the "spotlight." I'm grateful my children enjoy music. cooper is awfully creative and it's fun to watch what he comes up with and then to see senny try to imitate him. beckham just laughs, claps his hands and bounces around when he hears music. he thinks his siblings are hilarious.

this weather is fantastic and everyone is enjoying being outside as much as possible, but at the end of the day, they all stink like little puppies! it will be nice when the pool is thrown into the mix, there will be less laundry and less puppy smell! we're off to the bathtub and hope that dad makes it home before bedtime!

nature, nurture and senny.

If I've had this conversation with you recently, you may feel free to continue down your blog roll. I've had a few occasions lately to wonder how much of the reason our children are the way they are is nature vs. nurture. After receiving an email update from Seneca's birth mother a while ago, I wondered what this little girl would be like if she was growing up in another environment, specifically the one she was born into. Would she be as uninhibitedly happy? Would she be the great sleeper and eater that she is? Would she exhibit this fiery stubborn streak and fierce independence? Would she squeal in pure delight every time she sees her daddy and run with glee for her brothers?

Are these things innate in her or are they things she has learned from living in our home? Does she purse her lips together and glare when she doesn't get her way because she learned that or is that the natural response that would be displayed regardless of her environment? Does she clap her hands and sing and dance when she hears music because she's got her own rhythm beating inside of her or is that because of her older brother's influence?
I guess I never had reason to wonder these things with Cooper. I figured he was part of me and therefore sometimes acted like me. But is it because he has my DNA or because he sees me model specific behaviors? Is Bex mellow and easy-going because he has his dad running through his blood or is it because his place in our family requires a little patience and go-with-the-flow attitude?

I am certain that Seneca is in the best place for her, but it makes the feeling of responsibility that much greater in that I don't want to mess up. I want to be sure we do it right and while D would never regret her decision to place Senny in our home, I don't want there to ever be reason to. I want my children to have the opportunities they each need to learn in the way that is best for them. I'm still learning what those are and that they are different with each of them. I think this is the case whether children are growing up in their biological environment or not; each learns in a unique way and responds differently to certain experiences.

As I watch Seneca develop and grow, her little personality becomes more apparent and while she may be the same little girl if she lived somewhere else, I just can't see it. I guess that's because she belongs here with us. She is still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, I suppose that's every mother's opinion, but she's something special in our home. She is capable of such amazing things and I fight away emotion wondering what she is going to face in her life. She has the capacity to make an enormous difference in this world and I'm grateful for the opportunity to watch it happen.

As I write, she is playing out the window with her brother. She is laughing and running and when she trips, she gets up, brushes it off and runs to catch up. She is vocal in both her pleasure and her disappointments. She is persistent and carefree at the same time. Someday I'll have the chance to get to know her biological parents and it may become clear what parts of them she carries and I will have the opportunity to thank them profusely for the most unselfish gift I've ever been given. I don't know why she is the way she is, but I'm intensely grateful that she's part of me.

it was time.

The befores and afters...

10 years

I've been married for 10 years today.  There was talk about being in Italy right now... Florence, specifically.    It'll happen someday.  I could say lots of wonderful things about my husband and the time we've spent together, but I'm not going to right now.  I'm going to go sit on the couch next to him and watch 24.  It's not quite Florence, but it could be a lot worse.  It's been a pretty fantastic decade... I'm deeply in love and incredibly happy.  Not sure what else I could ask for.

candyland wishes and hawaiian pineapple

this afternoon playing candyland:  cooper one space behind the space that would allow him some sort of rainbow short-cut.  he stops for a minute before drawing his card and says, "I hope I get a yellow."  whadda ya know, he drew a yellow, and was completely thrilled about it.  a few turns later he said, "I want the ice cream card."  uh-huh, you guessed it.  he drew the ice cream card.  he did this 2 other times hoping for a double-color card and had his wish granted each time.  this kid has some serious power when it comes to the law of attraction!  I can just see his angels laughing at how excited he got when he received just what he requested.

this evening at dinner: after seeing seneca and beckham inhale their pineapple, cooper decided he wanted to try some.  

"oh, mom.  this is delicious!"  

I'm glad you like it.

"it tastes just like hawaii!"  

a comment that was absolutely not prompted by me.  a very normal thing to say about pineapple, but from a four-year-old?  I mean, yes, he's been to hawaii, but it was 1 1/2 years ago and I don't recall that he ate pineapple while we were there... maybe places really do have tastes.

photos... upon request

Apparently I've been a little wordy lately. Sorry, I have lots to say sometimes and Dent is the photographer in the family. For Brenda's sake, here are a few pics...

Dent took Coop and Senny to the Sportsman's Expo Saturday. The fun they encountered included fishing and checking out dad's new dream jeep. I suppose I could apologize that my little girl looks like a little boy, but she doesn't have any short-sleeve or summer clothes that fit her! We had to dig through Coop's old stuff and it turned her into a tomboy. Oh well.

(click on the pix to view larger)



This afternoon we were invited to the Mundall's to check out Kim's new little puppies. Seneca was thrilled, Coop just wanted to scare them and Beckham could have been just as happy gnawing on a lemon. Bro mundall and the guys were just starting roping practice when we arrived, so we hung around to watch for a while. Seneca was fearless and just wanted to go run with the horses and dig in the dirt. Coop enjoyed analyzing the horse's equipment and Beckham got tired of sitting on my lap eating the camera. It was a great distraction this afternoon- thank you kim!

Return to Virtues

I was invited to participate in an experiment that an old friend from high school is conducting. He has written a manuscript and is in the process of getting it published, but along the way is testing his theories. I could explain all the history, but if you're interested, you can find out more info at return to virtues.

My instructions for March:

"The month of March is the month of Integrity. What does that mean? It means that this month you will have an intense focus on your personal integrity. As I mentioned before, I would love everyone to set a personal goal for the month regarding integrity.

Here are a few ideas of possible goals you could make to enhance your integrity:

-follow through on 100% of your commitments
-be truthful in everything you say to others
-set a diet goal, be honest in following it
-set an exercise goal, and be honest with your self in accomplishing it

These are just a few ideas, but I would recommend you pick something that is important to you, and something that doesn't come naturally. You want to try to do something more than you normally do, outside of your comfort zone."

I had several thoughts on this topic and how I can apply it more fully in my life. What I decided on does not necessarily correlate directly with integrity, but implementing it will. My household and, on occasion, my children have been neglected due to my intense concentration on my computer screen. The internet is a fabulous invention, one I can not get enough of sometimes. It is completely ironic that there are so many ways to keep in touch and network online and all of them can be done while having no direct contact with an actual person. Anyway, I was finding myself saying, "just a minute," one too many times when my children were beckoning because I had to finish composing one more email, or read one more article or check the status of one more thing... Denten even started commenting that the computer is the first thing I go for in the morning. I feel like lots of stuff I do on the computer is important, but lots is completely wasted time.

Thus the goal... I'm limiting the time I'm on the computer while all of my children are awake. It's so easy to sit down to do one thing while they're all playing well and before I know it I'm sucked into five projects and they're getting restless and my attention is not where it needs to be. So, I've set parameters for myself and it's kinda hard. Yesterday I got quite a bit done as I had to keep myself from wandering back over to my desk. The guest room bed has been without sheets since lindsay left weeks ago and it is finally put back together. In fact, most of the bedding in the house got changed. All the kids rooms were picked up, organized and vacuumed. Whadda ya know... there is actually time to keep my house clean when I'm not in front of the computer all day!

Anyway, there it is, out there for the world to judge... my weakness and folly. So how, you ask, am I writing this post at 10:00 a.m.? Well, it just so happens two of the three are sleeping and I have a 30 minute computer window. Consider yourselves lucky that I chose to spend it explaining all this nonsense! Oh, and in case it needs explaining, integrity comes in seeing as no one is here to monitor my computer usage.. it's all on me. And seeing as I have to report back to Adrian, I gotta stick with it. Thanks, Mr. Dayton. You just may make a better person out of me yet!

February Progress Report

February was definitely a slower month for me than January was, and I didn't do a good job at keeping track of progress very well, but there were a few great things created around here.

• per january's goal: music. I enjoyed my piano, playing and singing as my children danced. and then argued for a turn at the piano. everyone likes that activity and it just so happens I only have one piano.


• an opportunity to learn to take turns!


• per january's goal: more time in my scriptures. specifically 3rd Nephi. While all of the scriptures contain our Savior's teachings, I needed the content that was specifically Him and His life.


• I completed my Calyco Healing training and am officially certified. I've been practicing for a while, but it was fun to make it official.


• In conjunction with the former, a lovely few days out of town alone. peace, quiet, sleep, reading, writing, eating... renewal.


• I created a few new dinners, tried a few new recipes and found a few keepers.


• a new website is being created... this is important to me on several levels. I'll explain a little later.


• meaningful conversations with dear friends.


• an environment that encourages walking from everyone who lives in this house.


• lots of laughing. tickling, kissing, chasing and laughing.


• new clients


• a trip to the zoo and lots to the park. senenca thinking she's big enough for the big kid ladders and beckham fearless on the tallest of slides. a great opportunity to enjoy the amazing weather we're having.
• a visit from aunt lindsay
• participation in this project.

sunday

This morning went smoothly, everyone eating breakfast and getting dressed for church quickly and easily. And senny wore her new dress that I didn't get a picture of, but dang, it was cute. thanks grandpa. Sacrament meeting was just a bit of a zoo. A lovely sister fortunate enough to sit next to us kindly said after the meeting, "I think that seneca has a little spunk in her!" Gee, ya think?! At least Beckham was happy. Until his sister stole his snacks, but happy for the most part. And there were mice in sacrament meeting. I didn't have the pleasure of seeing them, which is a really good thing, but apparently they're back and I don't really appreciate that. Denten taught gospel doctrine today and wouldn't you know it, it's a little hard to catch a full lesson with a one-year-old under foot, or on lap, or jumping from my lap to someone else's. But I hear he did a pretty good job. We could go into more detail here, but I'll save my over-analysis of my over-analyzing husband for another time.

Dent took it upon himself to plan food for today, after I already promised carter's dinner... lack of communication? no, we communicated just fine, just a little late. Anyway, we moved his plan to right after church. Came home and changed our clothes and headed to the backyard for a cook-out. He built a fire and we roasted hot dogs and enjoyed fruit from yesterday's produce co-op pick-up. It was 85 degrees outside today. seriously. it was fun to be outside and enjoy the weather and attempt to feed ourselves whilst monitoring the little ones.

Next was naps for everyone. the best part about sunday if you ask me. this happened uninterrupted until that stinkin' ice cream man came by. we have a lovely ghetto van that drives around with incredibly annoying music played at top volume and manages to time his visits right smack in the middle of nap time. the nerve. I think I intend on speaking to someone about this. it may have to be the ice cream man himself. if only he knew all the mothers in the neighborhood avoided giving him business because he drives us crazy! anyway, I obviously have strong feelings about that.

Made garlic mushroom pasta for dinner. I was the only one who loved it, but that's ok. I'd share the link but Emily is private. Too bad for all of you 'cause it really was good. I escaped down the street for a while under the guise that dinner had to be delivered and enjoyed a quick catch-up with little miss creative brilliance.

Next we talked to grandmas and grandpa on both sides of the family, rejoicing in the news that Beckham can indeed walk on his own and can actually do it pretty well. There's a video, 'cause denten is his dad, but I can't figure it out right now. Just imagine... jolly beckham walking a little like frankenstein giggling so hard that occasionally he tips himself over. that's pretty much it. I love that kid. Cooper spent the afternoon teaching school. He's been giving me reading lessons all week, well, me and senny. we have to repeat after him. he's pretty bossy, I don't really know where he gets that.

The low-light of sunday is when I realize it's time for everyone to be in bed because they're all whining at my feet and my house is a disaster. so much for a relaxing end to sunday. after jammies, milk and a major pick-up, it's time to wind down. And post this. Because I have joined the ranks of the Virtue Experiment and my goal for March involves monitoring my time in front of this here screen when my children have their eyes open. I could talk about this a little more too, but it will have to wait until another time. I'm tired now.

And thus begins a new week... it's gonna be a good one, I can already tell. busy, but I have pasta leftovers. good night.