freeze

I was gone all morning.  Came home to happy, hungry children.  Fed said children then laid down on the couch.  Not feeling too hot this week and need productivity to happen.  As I was laying there, I wanted to freeze time.  Not stay sick, but for them. 

Seneca is wearing a favorite shirt with sparkles and her regular pink flouncy skirt routinely worn inside-out.  Her hair is in two ponytails.

Beckham is wearing plaid shorts and a camouflage shirt.  He doesn’t match, but he did it all himself and I fully support that.

Cooper is wearing green basketball shorts and his red St. George Ironman shirt.  He may or may not have slept in these very clothes last night.

They are playing baseball.  The ball is a world globe beach ball.  The bat is a noodle sword.  Home base is the empty flooring space left from the entertainment center.  No one is pitching or hitting well, so the rule is that on the third strike, you RUN!  First base is the step at the back of the room.  Second is the trampoline and Third is the beanbag.  There is a lot of yelling and laughing, not so conducive to resting my head, but oh so good for my heart.  They need each other and I think somewhere inside they know that. 

Somehow they are both competing against and cheering for each other.  Can I just hit some virtual freeze button and keep them this way for a while?

A weekend in the hills

In June, the Boyd Robinson clan gathered in the hills above Paragonah for a few days.  We made the trek north to enjoy fun and family.  This is the family we are a part of due to the former Indian Placement Program.  This is the Robinson family Denten’s mother went to live with when she was 12 and spent all of her growing-up years with.

Our weekend included:  ultimate frisbee.  playing on teeter-totters, swings and slides. frisbee golf.  riding Uncle Val’s horses. basketball.  baseball. water balloons. balloon volleyball. dare base.  the infamous Robinson talent show.  sleeping all together in one room.  a LOT of people in one cabin.  fresh air.  good food.  settlers.  chess between Coop and Grandpa Boyd. 100.  almost drawing blood playing 100. Book of Mormon chases.  music.  visiting with cousins.  losing my children and not worrying about it.  listening to Denten tell Dutch that this is where they are both meant to be.

Grandma Jeanne on the right, singing with all of her sisters.

Most of the posterity of Grandpa Boyd and Grandma Jeanne

This is one fun, fun group of people- totally worth the road trip!

right now.

My children are in various swimming attire eating slushies on the swings.  They are carefree and happy.  They have had a full day swimming with friends this morning then swimming at the city pool this evening while Cooper had swim team practice.  Coop also had basketball camp today and I am hoping for sound sleepers tonight.

I have been off my game a little.  I’ve been committed to laundry, but dinners and much of my to-do list has not been taken care of so far this week.  My brain is a busy little place sometimes, to the point of neglecting most that is not top priority.  I’ve released a few things and feel a little more myself today. 

I started a new book last night that seems promising.  I hope it continues to be good as I need distractions these days.  We’re off again this weekend, this time to Tohatchi, to eat fry bread and dance with the Natives.  Actually we do other things too, but those are my favorite.  Mutton stew anyone?  Not me, thank you very much. 

It’s time to go get these little sun babies in jammies, read and tuck them in for the night.  I love my little sun babies.  Sometimes I want to crawl right into bed with them.  Sometimes I do.  Beckham likes me there for a just a minute or so.  Seneca always has just one more question.  Cooper likes to hear a little story about when he was a baby. 

Then you’ll find me and my laundry with a  little SYTYCD on the couch.  D will swim after work and join me in exhaustion as we settle in for the night.  It’s not a bad life.  Oh, and my new swimming suit fits.  That’s big news.  I told Emily today that I’ve hit that stage in life where it matters more that it fits than if it’s cute.  Although it’s cute, too.  It’s difficult to find a suit that fits a woman with a 32-year-old bottom but 12-year-old breasts.  So, success it is.

Now, to lure the littles in from the backyard.  Wish me luck.

Glass Castle

I’d ask if you’ve read it, but chances are I’m the last to do so.  Katelyn told me that it was absurd that I had a degree in social work and had not read this book, but when I checked it out last time, I did so amid 7 other books and I couldn’t get through them all before they were due back at the library. 

I think I was also hesitant after hearing that it was a good book but was hard to read.  I didn’t know if I was up for a dark story, but I loved it.  This is an amazing, powerful story and I hope it doesn’t make me morbid to say that I found it entertaining at times.  The lifestyle described in this true story is beyond anything I have ever known, thank heavens.  I found myself full of admiration for this family at times and the way these siblings stuck together, and then wanted to jump in the page and kick a few people in the fannies on the very next page.  I kept thinking to myself, “is this real?  do people really live like this?”  and the amazing answer is Yes. 

If there is any degree of selfishness or ingratitude in your life, Walls’ story will clear that right up.  She writes in a way that is easy to read and somehow puts an eloquence in a story that is anything but.  I may or may not have spent the entire afternoon today plowing through the second half.  It’s that good.

the best.

I have the best dad a girl could ask for.

I married the best dad I could ask for for my children.

Just so happens he got just the right one for him. 

  I am not good at Father’s Day, but hopefully they know that I love them all to pieces.

good things on a saturday.

purging my closet.  filling bags to be donated and organizing the rest. 

climbing the high school bleachers in 90 degree heat. 

fresh basil on my tomato sandwich.

grocery shopping all by myself.

having all of the walls in my family room the same color.

crepes filled with nutella and strawberries.

cooper and dent night swimming.

having a pool vacuum that works properly.

having a rental property pool that works properly.

having more peace of mind than I have had the past few days.

suby’s A/C working properly.

good music.

clean sheets.

fix you.

peaceful. and healing.

shaking it off

I have been in a funk of sorts, despairing at all the crummy news around me.  We had a great weekend away with family, good, uplifting, outdoor fun and then returned home to learn about both Callahan’s accident and the incident below.  Perhaps the last days are upon us, or perhaps this is simply reality that I choose to turn away from in my sheltered, comfortable life, but either way the darkness takes it’s toll on me.  As I’ve talked with a few family members about how to help in certain dark situations, the advice has been that a hand-written note is more meaningful than a text or email and that sometimes our role is simply to mourn with those who mourn.  It’s a bit of a helpless position, but I believe in the role of the Comforter and know that He is powerful and in control.

I also have been consumed with a little impatience as we feel ready for another child in our family and haven’t felt any action or movement toward that end from those helping us in our endeavors.  It is a situation that is a balance between doing all we can and still knowing that it will happen in it’s own time as it always has.  I am anxious and ready and not great at being patient, but we are moving forward in other arenas to enhance our chances of this happening quicker and I must believe that Heaven hears my fervent prayers and will answer as He always has.

In the meantime, I have little ones here in my charge.  Ones I want to protect from the ugly out there, ones that are innocent and completely satisfied with swimming and playing outside with each other.  Ones that are working on their reading and writing and are spending a lot of time with each other these days.  Ones that I hold a little tighter and love a little more and pray that the darkness that exists out there never touches them. 

And Denten is trying to distract me with the possibility of this:

  

I mean, seriously.  Look at this face.

      

I talked with the kids this week about the possibility of a dog in our family.  They were excited but listened awfully closely as I told them that part of taking care of a dog meant cleaning up their “mess” outside when they go to the bathroom.  I told them what they would need to do.  Beckham thinks he can handle the job with a plastic bag over his hand.  Cooper will promptly invest in a shovel and Seneca said she will be happy to help if she can have pink gloves, please.  I am not fully ready to commit to this yet, but I think Denten is, so I’m trying to be open to the idea. 

So, Heaven, I’m ok with only good news for a while.  And if sending a babe my way is included in that, I’m ready and waiting.  Love, Me.

 

* mom and shellie:  you are welcome to comment on any portion of this post excluding the part about a dog.  I know your feelings and they have been taken under advisement.

a heavy heart

Blessings

This one got me today.  (thanks ashlee) 

We came home from being out of town to learn that a disturbing incident had occurred Saturday night too close to home while we were gone.  It bothered me to be reminded that while I feel we live in a relatively safe area, the real world is still right around the corner.  I shook it off and moved on, until yesterday when I learned that the victim was a dear friend of mine.  That shook my world right up.  I was sick about it, nothing felt right.  I don’t believe anyone deserves to go through something like that, but it was especially hard that it was her, a sweet, strong woman with a family just like mine.  She serves in the Young Women’s organization in her ward, goes to the gym with me and swaps kids with me during our older kids’ music class.  She was found very close to home- it was all just a little too much for me.  She is home and recovering, her husband is wonderful to manage the kids and take care of her.  While things could have been worse, the fact that it happened at all has been haunting me.  The range of emotions she must be feeling is beyond me and yet I know that she has a peace with her, a sense that everything will be ok, despite an unresolved investigation.  I’m not sure how people get through things like this without a knowledge of a greater picture, without the peace that Christ’s atonement brings.  I’m grateful she has that, and as selfish as it sounds, I’m grateful I do too because while this didn’t happen to me, I have needed a healing balm as well. 

I don’t mean to make any direct correlations between A’s incident and this song.  I can’t assume that she has to go through this to achieve anything in particular.  I suppose it’s my overly emotional current state that made me sensitive to this song, but I thought it was beautiful.

 

I help with the reading.  The fashion sense is all her own.  right down to the silly bandz climbing her arms.

and there’s a sneak peek of  the new sofa.

robinson reunion recap coming soon.

beckham’s prayers

Please bless we can go on a trip with our toothbrushes and toothpaste.

Please bless we can get cold yogurt with Elsie and go to the park.  (we got frozen yogurt last week, followed by the park and apparently it left an impression)

Please bless Joseph Smith can get out of the trap.  (from FHE a while ago, we talked about Joseph being in jail)

Please bless we can go to the snow with Grandpa and Lindsay.  (little does he know that is not where we’re headed tomorrow)

Please bless we can be nice to each other. 

roadtrip or jet?

laundry is one load away from being done.  kids are packed, I haven’t started.  heading to utah for a quick long weekend, hope I don’t freeze.  it’s not even supposed to reach 80 degrees.  it’s june, for heaven’s sake, there is a problem with that.  thankfully dutch’s dvd player is working properly for the time being and the library supplied us with new books and movies for the road.  as much as I dread long car trips, I actually love that time with Denten.  when else in my life do I get hours of time next to him to talk about whatever I want?  never.  that may be why he dreads them, seeing as he gets an earful of all the things I’ve had on my mind for the past month and a half.  perhaps someday there will be a private jet in my life and we can just hop on and be where we need to be in a jiffy.  that will be awesome.  and now for that last laundry change. 

balance. it's tricky.

get dressed and breakfast, leave the house at 8:00 for the gym. get home at 9:45, in time to change and head to swim with friends. home at noon to grab lunch and take seneca to birthday party at 1:00. beckham naps, cooper reads and does math games, I go get the senny. coop and I play chess while the littles color. coop is off to swim team. get dinner ready, get the coopster, eat, read and run to bed. these are fun summer days, but we are not being nearly as productive as we need to be in regards to staying up with our learning activities. learning best happens in the morning, but that's also the easiest time for me to be at the gym. I think my sacrifice is leaning the wrong way and the schedule needs to adjust a bit. balance... it seems when it's finally found, it doesn't last long. it's something we're constantly striving for around here.

Breathing.

What? It’s been a week since I posted? I know, you thought I died. Well, no, but almost… a few times. Ok, that’s a little dramatic.

Stuff we’ve been doing…

- the Dentist. It has validity at the top of this list, trust me. I’ve been there more times than the gym in the past two weeks. Don’t worry, it’s a good thing. Seems a former dentist didn’t do a great job on some work I had done a while ago and there are things that need to be redone… that part is a pain, but I’m grateful to find someone who knows what he’s doing and that I trust to get it right this time around. First up was a crown… my very first one, I tried to be proud. As he drilled Right. Next. to my Nerve. Yep, you could SEE it. Kinda freaks me out a little. Anyway, I’m wearing a temporary and will get the real deal next week. Next item was bleaching, which has been delayed only because when I was younger, I lost the bottom half of one of my front teeth and the composite/bonding situation they used to fix it would not whiten with the rest of my teeth… so first we bleach the rest of them, then we fix that one to match. I was warned about the extreme sensitivity and pain my mouth would feel after the bleaching process, but gratefully it was built up more than necessary and I survived without major incident. So now most of my teeth are whiter than the front one and that will be fixed next week as well. Then we went another time for mr. Coop to have his cleaning and exam. More validation about changing dentists: our insurance has already paid for sealants that we thought were put on his teeth a while ago… come to find out there aren’t any there! That’s a bummer. They have been re?done. And finally, Seneca and Beckham had their turn in the chair this morning. Riding in the big chair, counting teeth, catching sugar bugs, getting prizes from the treasure box, rolling around the office on wheelie chairs, cookies and treats… there is nothing to be feared at the dentist and they can’t wait to go back. Needless to say, we’ve become very comfortable with our new dentist and his staff and we love them!

- the Furniture. The formerly-empty-dance-party room now has actual furniture. More than a black leather bachelor-pad-looing hide-a-bed. A sofa and two chairs at least. And a few other pieces on the way. Picking furniture is a catch-22 for me. I should clarify that I am very grateful to have the opportunity to shop for furniture, I mean we all dream of doing that, right? Until the time comes to actually make decisions. That fit within a budget. And look great in given space. There may have been tears. Denten may have looked at me and said, “are. you. crying?” with a look of unbelief on his face. It was a stressful situation! This is the thing. Are you ready? Sometimes I get pictures in my head of how something will be. And when stuff doesn’t end up fitting the picture in my head, it’s a little hard to adjust. It looked so great in my head! I like the idea we’re working with but the actual pieces and arrangement aren’t fantastic yet, but I’m over the part where it might kill me. Am I sounding spoiled? Please forgive me. I just figure if I’m going to spend actual money on stuff, I want to LOVE it! So, we’re working on that.

- the Demolition: The wretched built-in entertainment center has been demolished. That is the right word seeing as an ax and crowbar were necessary tools for the job. I often wonder what in the world these people were thinking when they did stuff to this house, but anyway, it’s gone now and after a little patching and painting work we’ll be good to go. Except for the matter of missing molding and carpet, but I can’t go there now.

- Swim team has started. It will be sporadic as we are in and out of town, but good practice while we’re here. Summer swim days with friends are also upon us, love that.

- D is in Boise today saving one child or another from “the system.”

- There has been a lot of baseball in the backyard lately. Sad to say, but Beckham has the best swing out of all of us, and connects with the ball most often. He’s a rock star.

- My kids are going to freeze when we go to Utah this summer. We have had our A/C on twice this summer so far for short periods of time… we are getting used to living warm, we’ll have to bundle up when we go north!

- We just finished juicing the first batch of grapefruit... there was a lot of sneaking licking of fingers and fruit as everyone took a turn, it smells so good!

A girl can dream...

Jess, brilliance that she is, keeps giving me fun ideas, like new books, good treats and trips to Paris! What? Well, the chance to enter, anyway. This lovely blog has details... seven nights in a boutique hotel in Europe? Uh, yes please!