love month, today

I love sunday afternoons. I love putting the kids down for naps and talking with D about what happened at church. Comparing notes, laughing at conversations, sharing what we learned. I love sunday naps and sunday treats. I also love my home teachers. We have a great one who is easy-going, genuinely interested in our family and brings great conversation into our home. I love that it is completely ok that life occurs nowhere else but in the kitchen and family room on sunday evenings.

I feel much better, thank you.

Tonight I asked Cooper to create a train track for his brother. Sometimes he loves this task, sometimes it is tor-ture. As he got started he asked me to come help. I was in the middle of cleaning the kitchen and knew he could do it himself. I told him to keep working, I knew he could do it. Beckham was encouraging the building as he was anxious to play. From the kitchen I heard Cooper say, "I'm trying, Beckham, but I just don't have anything in my imagination!"

I suppose I know how he feels. I feel that way too, sometimes. But it was funny. He's having to stretch his imagination, and that's not so bad.

head. hurts.

it hurts to move my head.

it hurts to talk.

it kind of hurts to even think.

cash availability, interest rates, loan stipulations, coordinating dates... too much for my stuffy head.

there is pressure and achiness from my face down through my neck and shoulders.

mama mia, I'm so glad I don't feel like this every day.

today I love minimal obligations.

I love dinners that are easy to put together for my family.

I love a dad who comes home at the end of the day to take over.

I love the american women's halfpipe team. wow.

I love beckham's face, I seriously can't get enough of it.

I love seneca's purse. it never leaves her posession and she has all kinds of tricks in there.

I love cooper's comptence. he ran this place this afternoon.

I love that most days my body is fully functional and free of aches and pains.

blurry pictures

Gram sent Valentine shoes. They were opened a few days prior to the big day and have only left her feet when forced to do so. After returning from an evening out, we found Seneca sound asleep with her pink shoes still on her feet. Apparently the baby-sitter knew better than to mess with a girl and her pink shiny new shoes!

Beckham has adopted Dora-doll as his "baby." He needs her to sleep, he changes her diaper... oh the lengthes he goes to to be like his sister!

These are all taken with my new camera. I'm holding still, I promise, but they don't look good! This is already round two... I don't want to drop another few hundred for a great one, but these photos simply will not do!

as for the download... (pay attention, bren) my usual process is download from my camera onto either my computer or my external harddrive. then I upload to photobucket because I like the photos big. then I copy the url photobucket created into my blog post. too many steps? perhaps. an alternative is posting straight from picasa, but I can only do 4 at a time and they are small (see above). somebody got something else brilliant for me to try??

**edited to add: I am referring to a small point-and-shoot. We've got a great Canon SLR, but it does not go everywhere with me in my bag!

stuff.

I have pictures, I really do. Not a lot, and probably not great ones, but they do exist. They are on a new camera that I haven't decided if I like yet. D got me a new one for christmas and it wasn't very good so we exchanged it for this one. It's not super either, but maybe I'm just too picky. Sometimes downloading photos then uploading to proper site then transferring to blog is just too much, so I stall. Sorry.

There is no way I could ever participate in a speed event at the olympics. How do they maintain any sense of control when flying that fast?? I'd be out of my mind.

Finished a Nicholas Sparks book today. I enjoy his writing, it's mindless but well-written... a good escape.

Jackie Lee has been great at journaling a little each day on her blog. Just recording a few things that happened so there is a memory. I like that. I want to do more of that but fight the fact that it might make this blog incredibly mundane. Although I don't think Jackie's is mundane.

We're moving. Most days the excitement outweighs the nervousness and sadness. Those moments still come, but I'm happy and excited about our decision and opportunity. We fasted last Sunday for renters for our current home. At 9 p.m. that evening we had a call from what turns out to be the perfect couple. After a week of decision making, we have secured them for a year which is fantastic. It was an immediate and powerful testimony of fasting with a purpose in mind. Transition happens mid-March.

We have abandoned all high-chairs and booster seats in our house and are learning to sit still while eating. Sometimes we struggle. Seneca can always find something fascinating to look at out the window behind her and Beckham is constantly practicing acrobatics in his chair. Tonight he slipped and fell face-first into the tile. He cut his little lip in two places and after some love was anxious to return to his food. Priorities. He'll have a fat lip for a while, which will probably add to his charm.

Thank you for your contributions to Writing Project 2010. First installment is coming. It will take discipline to carve out time to write as it is with anything worthwhile I suppose. If you have not submitted a word, feel free to add to the pot.

I love bedtime. Theirs. Mine. It's an inspired time of day.

the mountain

Cooper has been asking to go to "the mountain." Denten thinks it's a cryin' shame that South Mountain qualifies as an actual mountain after growing up in Utah. But, it's what we've got, so we go with it! We went to play on the mountain this afternoon, hiking, exploring, climbing, throwing rocks, finding sticks... my kids had a ball. It was fun to see them look out for each other, to hear Seneca ask Beckham if he was ok, if he wanted to hold her hand. Cooper is faster than the rest of us and was great to wait for us now and then and find great sticks for his brother. Seneca is fearless and thinks she can climb anything. Beckham fell down a lot and got up with a grunt, saying, "I ok, mom." It was gorgeous today, 74 degrees, perfect for running around and exploring. Today, I love the mountain, even if it shouldn't be qualified as such!

LOVE month

I love soccer-game-Saturday.

I love good news.

I love the Olympics!

I love that my 5-year-old thinks he is fully capable of doing everything he sees while watching the Olympics.

I love watching the little one figure new things out.

I love when dad takes the job of putting the little girl to bed. she's exhausting!

I will love when 2:00 comes around today, it's been a busy week.

LOVE month, day 12

I LOVE preschool Valentine's parties. I LOVE the excitement 5-year-olds have for simple things. I LOVE amazing friends who help with my children so I can go to said preschool parties. I LOVE the anticipation of a night out with other amazing friends. I LOVE capable and fantastic baby-sitters so I can enjoy said night out with friends. I also LOVE grandmas who send marvelous surprises for my children. and, because I'm just in the mood, I probably LOVE you!

LOVE month, day 11

I love when the laundry is done. completely done. empty baskets in the laundry room with clean clothes folded and put away. satisfaction.

a new level

We think we're moving (just across the valley). We attempted to keep it on the DL for a while and though nothing is official yet, it's also not a secret anymore. Part of this process is renting our current home. We've had it listed for a few weeks and have had numerous inquiries. I have a deep level of respect for those who have had their house on the market and have had to keep it presentable at all times. My home has achieved new levels of clean in the last month. I don't like to think that we are normally sloppy, but there are things I notice when someone is coming to view my home that I probably wouldn't care about otherwise. Having people stop by every other day combined with my dejunking process has done wonders for my house! I almost don't want to leave it. Almost.

My kids are getting great at understanding that cleaning up means really cleaning up. After mealtimes they put their own dishes in the dishwasher, and get the dustbuster out to take care of any crumbs on the floor. The playroom is sorted and while disasters still strike, they are put away easily. Cooper's room has been clean for a week which is a serious personal record. He does not see the value in folding clothes and putting them away after taking them off yet, but he's getting there. He's taking pride in keeping his room "perfect" and I love it. Seneca makes her bed with no wrinkles just in case someone might come see it. I realize it's sad that it takes the possibilities of future tenants stopping by to keep things picked up and put away, but it's difficult to maintain that level of tidy when these little ones are moving from one project to another so quickly!

Speaking of the little ones, Seneca is something else. Whenever someone comes to see the house and Seneca happens to be awake and around, she turns into little miss chatty. "this is my snack!" "do you like my apron?" "do you want to watch me dance?" this is said as she is already twirling around the family room. Good grief. No, the house doesn't come with the little girl. Or my treadmill or my piano. Seriously? You think I'd leave my piano? no, people.

This process has increased faith and patience and given me an opportunity to practice trusting that He knows what's supposed to happen here. It has brought Denten and I together in new ways and we talk about the things we're excited about and the things that cause concern. And it's kept my house clean. That's the really important part. We don't know what will happen in the next month, but whatever it is, we'll roll with it!

LOVE month, day 10

I love hot water. Really hot water. No one in my house is physically able to bathe or shower in the same temperature water than I enjoy. Denten thinks his skin will fall off at my temp. and I shiver in his. When bathing the kids, I think they've got to be freezing but if I try to warm it up, it's too hot. A steamy hot shower does wonders for my demeanor. Squeezing them in when possible, they are treasured and never long enough.

LOVE month: feb. 9

my quads ache. my glutes ache. my back and shoulders are sore. I am very aware of my abdominal muscles.

I love a good burn.

LOVE month:

I love that my marriage has very little drama.

LOVE month: feasting

Today is the first Sunday of the month, otherwise known as Fast Sunday in my culture. A day where we refrain from eating or drinking for a period of time in favor of turning our thoughts and hearts another direction.

This morning my stomach was growling before I even got out of bed. Actual physical hunger pains. The kind that would normally drive me straight to a bowl of granola, pronto. I visited with my Father in Heaven for a few minutes and began busying myself with other activities as to distract my hungry tummy. As I came downstairs I was just about bowled over by an exuberant little Beckham who had just eaten about 47 pancakes. He's so stinking happy to see me in the morning, it's good for my soul.

I realized as we wrestled and tickled and as I just about ate him up that kissing his face was all the feasting I needed for the day. He's absolutely delicious. He gives enormous hugs and I can squeeze his little squishiness. Kissing his face is like a meal, it fills me right up. And then he laughs and I simply can't take any more. My cup was full.

I wondered if coming so closely after his sister would keep this little guy in a shadow. His sister came to us in a unique way and had a lot of light on her. Being another boy who arrived in the world in a more conventional manner didn't have a lot limelight. My worries, as usual, were for naught. He comes with his own personality, mellow at times and huge as can be at others. He's perfect for me and he fills me up. Today, he's all I needed to feast on.

Writing Project, 2010. {you play a part.}

I have a dream.

A dream to be a great writer.

I'm not sure that my dream involves being officially published, although that would be hugely satisfying. I just want to be able to create pieces of writing that take the reader somewhere else for a short time. To create a story that one doesn't want to end or that he can't get enough of.

Sometimes writing is a talent, sometimes my lack of creativity puts it away for a while. Sometimes it's a hobby, one I yearn to have more time for. Mostly, it's just a dream. Denten asks me often why I haven't written a book and my answer is always that I don't know what I would write about. He tells me that is a lame excuse.

Regardless of whether a book is in my future, I would like to spend a little more time developing this little talent/hobby/interest of mine.

And here's where you come in:

I kindly request you to submit a word to me. A concept, a color, an object. A theme, a verb, a condition. An issue, a person, an experience. Someone I know, or don't. Something I have experience with, or not. Something physical, emtional, spiritual. Something I can run with, left to my own interpretation. I will put your suggestions in a bowl, draw one out at a time and write on the subject. Right here on this very blog.

For example: if you were to give me the word "ferocious," I might come up with something like the following: I was awakened by an incredibly ferocious storm last night that yanked me from a deep REM cycle and left me prone, flat on my back, paralyzed as the mean rain slammed sideways into my window and the wind, who was on a mission, swirled and howled around my home sending anything that wasn't attached clear into oblivion in a matter of seconds.

This is what I came up with at about 3:00 a.m. this morning when the very thing occurred outside. Some days you might get a better product, some days you won't. Some days it might be a story, others, an essay.

Is there something I have experienced that you want to know more about? {please note that I only contain minor amounts of both sarcasm and narcissism.} Here's your chance. Give me a word and you'll get my response. {a friend once asked me to record my thoughts regarding adoption. I'm not sure I ever did that adequately for her}. When I declared a few days ago that I love my friends, those are the thoughts that spilled out when writing about them.

I have a few requests: first, don't be nasty. I mean that both ways. Mostly, be nice. Don't give some terrible word that would kill me to write about. Second, I am not doing significant research for this project. If you give me a medical term I know nothing about, I will not spend hours educating myself on the condition and giving my synopsis. I will probably tell you what the word reminds me of, or write about a person I knew once who had a grandma with that ailment. Mostly I just need a little practice and need a place to start. So, hit me.

Some of these pieces will mostly likely be disastrous, but somewhere along the line there will be a gem. Some will be drafted and edited and some will be slapped down here and called done. And for those of you who can't handle all of my words, I might throw in a picture or two for you.

Thank you kindly in advance. comment, email, pick up the phone... pray about it first if you want, but send me your word.

Welcome to Writing Project 2010!

LOVE month, day 5

I love quiet nights.

Don't get me wrong, I also love nights when I get to escape, but tonight I love quiet nights.

When everyone is in bed, when my house settles down and it's just me and Dent. Sometimes just me. No outside obligations, no major messes to clean up. Dinner, conversation, most likely a project of some sort and and perhaps a little tv, of the dvr'd variety. Reading in bed before I succumb to the back of my eyelids. I love quiet nights.

LOVE month, day 4

I love my friends. I often say that I need my friends. I don't know if I would actually physically die without them, but they sure are important to my emotional health.

I spent my adolescent years and high school experience learning who I was rather than practicing the art of being a great friend. Therefore, I did not emerge from that time in my life with a great number of close friends. There are a few select girls who I keep in touch with from time to time and admire from a distance, but even they have a much larger circle from that time.

In college I fared a little better, taking from that time deeper relationships, a result of a less selfish me, I suppose. One friend imparticular is the kind everyone hopes to run into sooner rather than later in life.

My time in New York found me depending on friends for my very sanity. I needed them, they were a virtual lifeline and I loved them dearly. There was a group of women tossed into the same situation fumbling for solid ground and we found it together and had wonderful adventures along the way. Leaving the city broke my heart as I had learned to thrive on the hustle and bustle of Manhattan, but leaving the girls was something I simply couldn't face. We are now all over the country, our husbands building their various practices as we build our families. We admire, coach, support and hurt for each other from afar. I treasure these women and had serious doubts as to whether I would meet a group that filled my needs so perfectly again.

Those I call "my girls" now are a different mix. They aren't like the last group, which after some adjustment time, I deemed a good thing. They have different talents, ones I only dream of possessing. They have different personalities and priorities that have taught me rethink my box. They see the world differently and yet again, I have fallen in love. I have offended and they have offended and it passes and we move on. We laugh our heads off at the silliest things and love each other's children like our own. I spent last night with some of them and was grateful that silent moments weren't awkward at dinner as we could have probably guessed what each other was thinking. I know the things they struggle silently with and pray for the heartache to ease. I know without a doubt that if I needed them, not having my immediately family close, that they would step in and there wouldn't be a thing to worry about. Friends don't get better than that. I absolutely love mine.

LOVE month, day 4

Today I love:



yellow corn tortilla chips

pebble ice

a good turkey sandwich with avocado

breakfast burritos

top ramen. sorry, mom. it's true

baked goods involving chocolate

especially doughnuts

chicken tacos

pasta, preferably with homemade pesto

good asian

virgin strawberry daiquiris. on a beach.

hot cocoa. in the yurt.

and much, much more.

our potty adventures

It should be obvious by the title of this post that it involves adventures in the bathroom. If you are not ok with that, please move ahead with your computer tasks.

Seneca has had the hang of big girl underwear for over a month now and yet, it seems she still thinks she needs treats after going. She'll be playing and ask for a treat. I will say no and after thinking for a minute, she'll head for the bathroom. After doing her business she'll ask, "mom, can I have a potty treat?" shoot. She's smart. I try to tell her that we don't get treats every time we go, but for a while there, she did. Major bummer when the treats start fading out.

Sometimes when I emerge from the bathroom Seneca will ask me, "mom, you go potty?" Indeed I did. "good job, mommy!" thank you. "mommy, your panties dry?" yes, seneca. "I'm so proud of you mommy, you keep your panties dry!!" Seeing as my love language is words of affirmation, she's so good for my self-esteem.

Beckham has eased off enough in this process that he doesn't always have to be physically present when she does her business in the bathroom, but he still considers himself the official flusher. He'll let her do her thing, let me help with my part and then we are excused while he takes care of the flushing. He takes his job very seriously.

I must say, life with only one in diapers is significantly different than two. More so than I anticipated. Piece of cake, really. Although, I'll be happy as can be when Beckham decides he's ready for his turn on the potty. And, I'll also be very happy to start all over again with newborn diapers when the time comes. Join me in prayer that it happens sooner rather than later, will you? We've got the folks at Navajo Family Services on the job. They helped find me a winner last time, I'm sure they'll do it again.

half-way

We're half-way through the soccer season. Fewer snacks are being consumed by the miniture spectators and more goals are being scored by this one. And it's fun.

LOVE month, day 3

Today I love my children's ability and desire to learn.

We spent the morning changing sheets on all the beds, doing laundry, making beds, vacuuming, dusting, putting toys and clothes in their proper places and all the while I had little helpers. Helpers that are learning to make the bed without any wrinkles, helpers that know which drawers their clothes go in. I love that Beckham puts all of the plates in the dishwasher after we eat. If someone forgets to clear their place, he takes care of it. I love that they catch on quickly to the routine around here and help make things run smoothly.

After we made Seneca's bed, she put her doll on it, covered her with her blanket and started singing to her. She went through "I am a Child of God," "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam," "I Love to See the Temple," "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," and "Eensy Weensy Spider." Those are her favorites and we sing them every night. She knows all of the words and loves to sing. I love that her little mind is capable of learning music and hopes it continues all her life.

Cooper has started bringing home homework packets from preschool. They don't get graded, they don't even have to turn them in, but are for both he and his parents to get used to the fact that homework will probably be part of the routine when he begins school next year. He loves doing his homework. He loves reading, writing, matching, spelling, cutting and gluing. He loves activity books with puzzles. He loves learning new things with his dad. They have been playing catch each evening after Denten gets home and it is part of the day Cooper looks forward to with great anticipation. He takes pointers well and works hard when learning something new.

I know that I am blessed to have children with sharp minds who can listen, understand and implement. I love that I have the opportunity to teach, to lead and to be an example. It is a responsibility that feels very heavy at times, but I am grateful that it is mine. They make me better. I love to see them learn and grow and discover.

Harrie's Challenge: LOVE month!

My sister, Lindsay (aka Harrie) has posted this on her blog:

I love February. Boyfriend or no boyfriend, I always enjoy this time of year. I think there is something in the air. So this month, I will be posting something I love each day. I think you should too! Most of my loves probably won't be news to you.

She kicked off the month with her love of travel. I ditto most of her sentiments.

Today, I love Cooper.

He is smart and hilarious.

He is sweet and thoughtful.

He is clever and inventive.

He is a great brother and a good example.

He is creative and artistic

He is athletic and fast.

He's my first miracle.

This is Coop's first time on snow skis last winter.

He's been dying to do again and is looking forward to a trip next month to ski with his Grandpa.

He surprises me every day and most of the time, I love being his mom!

33 things…

Denten is 33 years old today. His birthday requests were simple and modest. All he really wanted was a new bike rack for Suby. I love when he’s easy to please!

In honor of the guy I married, here are 33 things about Denten:

1. He's mine. Forever and beyond. Perhaps you already knew this, but it's rather important to me.

2. Our first real date involved calling for elk on Cedar mountain. I chose to focus on the romantic fact that we were alone in the forest and not the fact that we were calling out very weird sounds to attract large animals that might one day grace my walls. Oh, shudder. Yes, he was wearing plaid flannel and my, I found him attractive.

3. He is a two-time High School Basketball State Champion. And a legend of some degree in his small hometown. Go Redmen!

4. His hunting weapon of choice is a bow and arrow. He has hunted (and killed) with a rifle, but has since switched gears. My dad says it's because of his native roots. I think it's also because it's more of a challenge. When we lived in New York and he didn't have the hills of Southern Utah to roam, he joined Columbia's archery team. For some reason it was a lot easier for me to support aiming at that target than at a four-legged furry animal. And it's not because I'm any sort of animal-rights activist... I would just prefer that they live somewhere other than with me once they're dead. Archery fits with the deliberate side of Denten. Patient, calm and methodical.

5. Denten thinks before he speaks. Sometimes he thinks for a long time and my brain starts yelling, "just spit it out!" However, this positive trait has given him little, if any, reason to regret what comes out of his mouth. He does not jump to conclusions. He makes decisions thoughtfully. He is straightforward.

6. His physical injuries have included mild sprained ankles, jumper's knee and a separated pinkie finger. Basketball, running, football...

7. He wanted to be an orthodontist when I met him. I'm kinda glad he changed his mind, for selfish reasons. I think legal talk is way more interesting than talk of the mouth and teeth.

8. He is an Ironman.

9. He is a member of the Navajo Nation and is incredibly proud of his heritage. So much so that he has chosen to serve native people as his profession.

10. Denten has a super soft spot for his little girl. He thinks she is the most gorgeous thing that ever walked the earth and if she plays it right, she can get him to say yes. This is potentially very dangerous.

11. He served a mission for the LDS church to Catania, Italy. He spent the entire second year of of his mission on the small island of Malta and had wonderful experiences.

12. While he is often content in his present circumstances, he is always looking ahead, making plans and striving for more and better than currently exists. This is true in our family as well as professionally.

13. He knows how to knit. You very well may have seen him wearing a hat of his own creation.

14. He also cooks. Dare I say better than I do. He takes his kitchen creations very seriously. It is wise not to comment or suggest when he's in the zone.

15. He misses Max. Max Soha's, that is. The only Italian food that has come close to being acceptable to his fine pallet. In fact, the quality and variety of food in New York City is what he misses most. Unfortunately, this is not enough to ever get him to move back there.

16. He doesn't complain.

17. He used to go dancing at clubs quite frequently, and has serious moves. I only got to witness a few times as most of his dancing shenanigans occurred when we were living on separate sides of the country for a summer, but let me assure you- the guy could rip it up on the dance floor.

18. He would be perfectly content living in a small cabin deep in the mountains being a hunting or fishing guide. Unfortunately for him, he married me. I could have been quite content staying in Manhattan... we compromise.

19. Denten eats ice cream almost every night. Always vanilla with some sort of mix-in. He's on a chocolate chip, walnut kick lately.

20. He has a testimony of his Savior and serves him willingly.

21. His family is priority number one, both the one he lives with now and the one he grew up in. He would defend his siblings to the death.

22. He enjoys peanut m&ms more than most other candy.

23. Denten is not a frivolous spender. He does not require a great deal of material possessions. His penchant for quality, however, has increased significantly in the last 10 years.

24. Photography is one of the hobbies that fills his limited free time. He teaches himself, experiments, researches and any of the photos you have been mildly impressed with on this blog have been his handy work, not mine.

25. Dent dreams of driving a big truck one day. He has postponed his dream so that I can drive Dutch. Ironic seeing as I would be happy driving Suby for the rest of my life but three carseats simply don’t fit well in there. So he drives Suby every day and while he doesn’t love her like I do, see number 16.

26. He had 9 different grandparents alive when he was born. He can personally remember four generations of family on his father’s side. Grandparents and his relationship with them are high on his priority list.

27. Denten wears dress clothes to work. Dress pants and shirts, usually a tie and sports jacket.

28. Denten is not a schmoozer. He will not talk a person up and down trying to sell something.

29. He wants the very best for his children. He loves them fiercely and would leave no stone unturned in order to take the best possible care of them. It is not a wise idea to get in his way.

30. He loves me too. He is supportive of my small dreams and ambitions. He is encouraging and never meddling.

31. He is dedicated to his work-out regimen and when I am ready to fall on the couch at night, he’s off to run or ride his bike. He does a great job at not having his workouts interfere with time with his kids.

32. He once drove an armored truck, has worked at a group home for young sex offenders, served as security for the local middle school and worked graveyards at a youth center.

33. His political views began to grow when he left Cedar for the Big City. He leans a little left but is able to see both sides of an issue better than most I know. Whether it’s his heritage, his education or simply his character, he is open-minded and rarely judgmental.

I’m aware that I lead a charmed life, mostly due to this guy, our relationship, the decisions we have made together and our faith. He was ready to get married much earlier than I was. I’m glad he was pushy. Heaven knows where I’d be if I had missed out on this one. I love him to pieces.

This smile came toward the end of a very long, physically exhausting day.

Seneca is just out of the picture, cheering wildly for her daddy.