30 Blessings for 30 years

1. I am grateful today for Denten. I'm grateful that he's the one I'm bound to for eternity. He may argue our compatibility in certain areas, but the plus side is that we've learned to work around our differences. I'm grateful that he's patient with me and that he allows and encourages me to learn and grow and become the daughter of God I was meant to be.


2. I am grateful today that Heavenly Father sent me to the home he did. I am grateful for parents who raised me with my best interests at heart, putting aside selfish desires for my well-being. I'm grateful that I know they love the Lord, they serve willingly and that our family is the most important thing to them.

3. I am grateful for my siblings. They are incredible blessings to me. They are different from one another, each adding a unique dimension to our family. They are kind and supportive, honest and live their lives with integrity. They are also a boatload of fun. I am grateful that my children have them to look up to as examples as they make their way through this life.

4. I am grateful to have wonderful in-laws. I realize this set of folks can be nightmareish and I'm grateful mine aren't. I love mine dearly. They are great examples to me of parenting, service and obedience without question. They have a deep love for the temple and their testimony of the gospel is evident in the way they conduct their lives. They love me as a daughter and care about my children passionately.


5. I'm grateful for my healthy body. I haven't always been satisfied with my physical body, but the fact is that it functions marvelously for me. It enables me to take care of my family, serve those around me and accomplish daily tasks. It doesn't look perfect, but it will in the next life, and my husband still thinks it's hot, so really, what else matters?

6. I'm grateful for little Cooper. I'm grateful for the way he came into the world and how hard he fought to be here. I can see now his determination is achieving what he desires and I can imagine him in heaven listening to the doctors tell us it wouldn't happen and him thinking, "yeah, i'll figure out a way to get down there... just watch me." and he did. He is strong-willed and stubborn and I'm grateful for the chance to help him learn the things worth fighting for.


7. I'm grateful for Seneca and for the abundance of Spirit that surrounded her arrival to our family. I'm grateful she wanted to be a part of us and for her sweet birth mother who loved her enough to allow her to be in an environment where she can thrive, both physically and spiritually. I'm grateful for her beautiful skin and her enormous smile and her uninhibited singing voice.


8. I'm grateful for Beckham, this sweet little roly-poly thing that makes darling little sounds and smiles hugely at me. I'm grateful for his patience. He exercised it above before coming here, waiting for his sister to arrive before he could make his appearance. He exercises it on a daily basis and his needs are not always met immediately. I'm grateful for his strong little body and the coordination he is learning every day.


9. I am grateful for my home, really for the simple fact that I have one. And that is has power and running water, all at my fingertips. I'm grateful that I'm comfortable here and that enjoy being home. I'm grateful that my home suits my family right now, that there is ample room for everyone and that my home smiles as a silent observer of these busy little bodies growing here.


10. I'm grateful the my husband is employed, on two levels. First, I'm grateful that he's employed period, that he makes money and is productive with his time. Second, I'm incredibly grateful that he enjoys what he's doing. He is making a difference in the native american community and that is very satisfying for him. It is an enormous blessing to have a happy, working husband and I try not to take that for granted.


11. I'm grateful for my education. I have very fond memories of early elementary school, favorite teachers and striving to do my best all the time. I have memories of inadequacy in junior high school hovering on the bubble between doing what I knew I should and being cool, and somehow not being able to do both. I have memories of high school, good ones and not-so-good ones, but all shaped me. I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to attend college, to think for myself and make note of opinions that were different from those in my home growing up. I'm grateful for the teachers who cared about my education and took the time to teach me to think. I'm grateful for graduate school, for the exposure to a whole new world and an in-depth study of people. I like to think my education is a big part of who I am and I look forward to my children having similar opportunities.


12. I'm grateful for the friends I have and have had. I have been blessed with positive influences in my friends all my life and while I did not always appreciate them, I have learned that they are an incredibly important part of me. My friends are reliable, smart, savvy, dependable, inspiring and compassionate who know who they are and strive to share that with the world around them. I feel very blessed to be among them, whether in close proximity or out there somewhere, I love them.


13. I'm grateful for the talents my Heavenly Father has blessed me with and for the expectation he has of me to do something great with them. I'm grateful that at the ripe old age of 30 that He is still showing them to me and that I am learning that my capacity is so much greater than I have previously given myself credit for.


14. I'm grateful for my calling in my ward. I'm grateful for the amazing women I serve with and the spirit that surrounds them. I'm grateful for the opportunity to serve the sisters around me and in turn, be blessed a million times over. I'm grateful that our ward has great teachers who take the time to prepare with the spirit and deliver wonderful informative and uplifting lessons.


15. I'm grateful for my hands. Considering all of the things they do in a day, they may just be the greatest blessing I have control over. From holding babies, chopping vegetables, sorting laundry, brushing my teeth, making various beds, bathing various children, the occasional vacuuming and dusting, typing, stirring, washing, and best of all to be able to feel my husband next to me at the end of the day, I surely wouldn't choose to give them up.


16. I'm grateful for my stuff. All the trivial, nonessential stuff that makes my life easy. My kitchen appliances, my computer, my phone, my car. My washing machine, my hair dryer, my DVR and my books. The blanket I use every night on the couch and the jacket that is always within arms reach during the day. The modern conveniences of life that help to propel me through my day.


17. I am grateful for my heritage. I'm grateful for those who came before me who had such great conviction in their beliefs and endured great strengthening experiences in order to bless their posterity. I'm grateful for my husband's heritage and the way it contributes to our family. It is a rich heritage with deep traditions and I love that it's a part of me.

18. I'm grateful for our journey through infertility. I'm grateful for the lessons it taught me. It's possible that I would have learned them another way, but I wouldn't trade them. I learned that faith is a principle of action and requires "doing" on my part. I learned that I have incredible support in my life and I solidified that if my family were only ever to be Denten and I, that would be ok.

19. I'm grateful that I understand the value of money and the part that it plays in our world today. I haven't always made wise decisions with that allotted to me, but I'm grateful to have some and to have an understanding of how to manage it wisely.

20. I'm grateful for my Savior and that He loved me enough to suffer for my mistakes. I'm grateful for the second chances I get every day to try again to do it a little better than before. I'm grateful that he knows who I am and the things I am capable of accomplishing.

21. I'm grateful for an intimate relationship with my Father in Heaven. I'm grateful for the patience he has with me and the unconditional love he shows as I work through this life. I'm grateful that he wants only the best for me and that he hears and answers me when I pray.

22. I'm grateful for the Holy Ghost and for his constant companionship. I'm grateful that I have had occasion to learn how to hear and feel him near me and the comfort I have that those peaceful messages are from my Heavenly Father, meant just for me.

23. I'm grateful for the angels that watch over me and my family. Some of them are known to me and many aren't. I'm grateful that Grandma Kearns, Grandpa Callister, Samantha and Grandpa Chester are around us often and have an interest in how we are living. There are many who have gone before us that probably have lots of work to do and I'm grateful that they take the time to guide us as we press forward.

24. I'm grateful for my senses. Specifically, the ones that allow me to enjoy the daily musings of my children. I'm grateful to hear them laugh and squeal as they play with each other. I'm grateful to see their sweet smiles light up their faces. I'm grateful to touch their soft bodies and hold them close to me. I'm grateful to smell their baby smell, fresh from the bath.

25. I'm grateful for the principle of obedience, probably more so now that I am a parent to growing children. I'm grateful for the knowledge that all blessings stem from obedience and that if something isn't being sent express from Heaven, I need to reexamine whether I'm following through on what my Heavenly Father has asked of me.

26. I'm grateful for the Book of Mormon and for the other scriptures that teach us of our Savior and ancient prophets. I'm grateful to learn from these strong spirits, to read their stories and absorb the principles being taught. I'm grateful that form of strengthening my testimony is available to me every day.

27. I am grateful that I am a woman. I cherish the knowledge that I am a daughter of my Father in Heaven and that he has very specific work for me to do here on earth. I am grateful that womanhood accompanies motherhood, but that aside, I have learned to embrace being a woman and knowing that comes with great responsibility and privilege.

28. I'm grateful for clean water. I enjoy a hot shower and feeling clean. I enjoy a cold glass of water and both are a big part of me feeling refreshed and renewed when life gets a little crazy around here.

29. I'm grateful for the opportunities I have had to see that everyone isn't like me. I'm grateful for the opportunity to travel to places outside of this country, to see poverty and great wealth and to know that I'm pretty comfortable falling somewhere in the middle. I'm grateful to the exposure I have had to people who don't look like me and who don't think like me and the understanding that has given me to be a little more thoughtful before placing a quick judgement.

30. I am grateful for the my testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm grateful that it is available in its fullness on the earth today for me to partake in. I'm grateful for the knowledge I have of a Father who loves me and knows me and is anxiously engaged in seeing me succeed.

As I cross the invisible threshold into a new decade, I wanted to focus on my abundance and remember not to take advantage of all I have been blessed with. There are great things to come and I'm looking forward all of it with a deep sense of gratitude.

Story of the Weekend

We have a lock on Cooper's door. It's backwards for the purpose of containing one inside as opposed to keeping someone out. We used to use it frequently as the child had a hard time remembering to stay in bed once he'd been tucked in for the night. He's figured that out and the lock is used seldom these days.

Cooper has discovered other locks in our house recently and will often lock himself in the bathroom while using the facilities. It hasn't been a problem as he knows how to unlock the door and he's never in there very long. We've had a discussion about how it's dangerous to lock doors, that if there were an emergency, it would be hard for mom to help him. It hasn't stuck.

Friday night Denten and I met Amy and Scot for an evening of Diamondbacks. Ok, it was an evening of lots of visiting, but we caught a little of the game. We had one of our favorite sitters here with the kids. She's easy going, she knows the routine around here and she comes to us. Love that. We arrived home just before 10:30 to the house in slight disarray.. unusual for this sitter. More lights were on than normal and she was nowhere to be seen. After quick thinking, I assumed she was assisting getting Cooper back to bed after he got up to use the bathroom. I walked upstairs to find all quiet, and doors shut... and locked. Holy Smokes.

She had put Cooper to bed around 8:00 and for some reason when they were saying prayers and getting tucked in, they had shut the door behind them. The locked door. The poor baby-sitter was locked in Cooper's bedroom with no way out. She tried a belt buckle to pop the lock, but it wasn't long enough. Cooper got over the fact that he thought it was pretty funny when he realized no one was on the other side to save them. He went to sleep eventually and then, so did she. What else was there to do??

I was so grateful that she had listened to my brief instructions before we left and had both Senny and Bex down for the night. I'm grateful that even if she had a completely understandable moment of panic, she was not overly upset and knew it wasn't the end of the world. I'm grateful that she still likes Cooper. She said she didn't mind the nap... what a saint.

I know that there are lots of things that could have gone wrong that could have made having your baby-sitter locked in a bedroom a really bad thing, but thankfully, none of those things happened... and so Denten thinks it's kind of hilarious. I still feel so bad for her, but I appreciate that sees it as a small and minor incident. Oh, this child.

Which is more concerning?

The fact that my bank went under today or the fact that it's noon and I'm still in my jammies?

I love my bank. correction. Loved my bank. I know the new one will probably be just fine, but my old one was very easy to use online and I loved that. And convenient. And personal. ah, well, onward and upward, right?

As for my jammie situation, lest you think me completely slothful, know that there has been some element of productivity around here today. The floors have been swept, mopped and vacuumed, toys have been organized and put in their respective places, my recipe organization project made great strides this morning and at the moment my kitchen is spotless. It may not stay that way all day, but let's relish it while it lasts, shall we? Oh, and for the children in my care... they happen to all be clothed, and fed, and currently happy. singing, even. some days jammies are way underrated. besides, mine are cute. thanks mom.

my thoughts...

I am engaging once a week with girlfriends who are striving to better their lives and learn more about who we are and what we are capable of accomplishing while we're here. I'm grateful for these women and for their contributions to our discussions. This week my assignment was to discuss what we, as women, are on the earth to do.

This talk is terrific... really. worth your time to print and read when you find a quiet minute.

A few thoughts I have had while pondering this topic:

• Our spirits crave to progress, and if we aren't moving forward we're not happy. Our spirits always know what is for our highest good, they know what is best for our eternal progression even if we don't always recognize those things consciously.
• We have an incredible potential to influence. We are here to influence the world, not be influenced by it (especially in our homes). Satan never underestimates us, he knows we are at the heart of Heavenly Father's plan and he attacks the front lines.
• The Savior "came not to be ministered unto, but to minister." If He came to minister, then so did we. What would change if you thought of your life as a ministry? This means asking, "why has the Lord brought me here today?" look for ways to build up people and the kingdom. Ask the Lord what he needs you to do today rather than work your own to-do list that may or may not have lasting significance.
• Coming unto Christ means walking away from the world. We won't become perfect in this life, but we can become increasingly holy and pure. Pure in our thoughts, motives and desires.. in our actions and words. Pure in what we watch or take into our bodies. Pure in our hearts.
• We choose holiness every time we put the Savior first and love him more than anyone or anything else. When we walk away from media that drives the spirit way, when we walk away from jealousy or unforgiveness. We choose holiness when we are good to ourselves and strive to see ourselves the way our Savior sees us.
• We are much too hard on ourselves. We are amazing women with incredible potential and we only limit ourselves. If we could unleash the full influence of covenant-keeping women, the kingdom of God would change overnight.

We all have stumbling blocks that are preventing us from being the woman our Father in Heaven would have us be. What is one stumbling block you can rid yourself of in order to better your relationship with your Savior? What are you willing to give up? Is it an involvement with media that isn't good for you, a habit that is holding you back from being your best self, a grudge you haven't given up, a past incident that is holding you down?? It can be anything.... examine your life as it is now and make a small step toward the woman you desire to become by eliminating one thing from your life. Let it go.

The Lord promised that if we will ask, we may, "receive revelation upon revelation," but we have to take the time to ask and the time to learn how to hear. That's all I've got girls, I look forward to your thoughts!

my life: dinnertime

As a mother sits on the bar stool next to child number one, having finished her dinner, she thinks to herself... is this really my life? coaxing my three-year old to please finish his chicken and rice and he keeps attempting to link arms and exclaim, "best friends, mom!" retrieving child number two from the high chair after a wild frenzy that somehow wiped the tray clean and left much more food on the floor than was actually consumed and stepping over child number three who refused to take a nap and is now smearing what appears to be his own drool all over the kitchen floor. "mom, I want shrimp, please." what? we don't have any shrimp, but thanks for saying please. number two, don't give him the lysol cleaner. number three, don't suck on the lysol cleaner. but sure, swiffer the floor while you're down there. number two then focuses her attention on moving the discarded dinner from the tile to the carpet in true one-year-old fashion and then heads for the recycling bin. sure, the empty milk carton is fair game, have at it.

this mother thinks to herself... I'm grateful that the three-year-old is eating his chicken and I'm grateful that as he swivels around in his chair singing that he wants to be my best friend. I'm grateful that number two is not significantly undernourished and can afford to miss a meal because it is currently unedible. I'm grateful that number three is no longer wailing in his bed, that he likes us enough to want to be with us and that the combination of saliva and tupperware seems to keep him entertained. I'm grateful that my dinner was delicious and that I had two minutes to eat it. oh man, there's the lid to the milk jug.. where on earth is the jug? dripping dripping in some unknown place. good grief, the milk carton is too big to lose, where IS IT? "I'll help you find it mom! let's go on a treasure hunt!" please, let's hunt for sour milk. ah, there it is, thankfully upright. number three, there have got to be better things to suck on around here than the electric cord, really. no, not that. you'll gag on that.

"mom, my jammies are un-side-out!" ok, as they land on my head from the stairs above. please get underwear on. "I will!" great. number two, stop hanging on the fridge door, I'll help you get some milk in a minute. number three, you're going to keep hitting your head if you don't move away from the chair. relocated and armed with age-appropriate toys. oh man, three-year-old, PLEASE get underwear on! here's your milk, lady. she hoists herself up on the couch and assumes position on her pillow. new diaper and jammies for the little man, placed next to number two with a bottle of his own. ok, seriously, underwear, now. good. now for that mess on the floor.

milk consumed, pick up number three and suddenly my shorts are wet. and orange. lovely. regurgitated sweet potatoes make me feel so pretty. number two, up we go- time to brush your teeth. she opens wide and waddles swiftly to the stairs. she loves brushing her teeth. "I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll BLOW your house down." can you turn your volume down, please, the babies are headed to bed. "sure." and he flips the imaginary switch down located on the side of his head. "I'm softer now, but i'm still going to huff and puff and blow your house down!" just make sure I have a place to sleep tonight please. number two folding chubby arms and mumbling along as we say a little prayer, snuggled into bed. check. back downstairs to retrieve number three, upstairs to his own bed. check. to the three-year-old: I'll race you to see who can pick up the most stuff on the floor. "it's not a race, mom." ok, but it's got to be cleaned up. "I've had a hard day, I don't think I can." really? let's go get in bed then. "No! I'll help!" I thought so. as we pick up, "mom, we had a fun day, didnt' we?" yes, child. it was fun. dad: you're absolutely welcome to walk in anytime. just an evening in the life...

an outing and a milestone

Saturday we took advantage of being reunited with our dad and went to check out the Phoenix Children's Museum.


cooper taking his sister through the carwash. there really could not be a more perfect activity for this child. they both had a blast.

coop and dad checking out the instrument wall.

this happy child hit the 8 month mark this weekend. at eight months he is a completley different child than he was at 2 months. besides all the drool, of which there is an abundance, he is a complete delight to be around. he's sitting unassisted, crawling all over the place and debuted his latest trick yesterday of pulling himself up to standing in his crib. fancy trick, huh? not so much when you get up there and then can't figure out how to get down... yeah, that's a bummer. he's completely in love with his sister who indulges him on a regualar basis. she's mastered giving kisses and beckham is her favorite subject.

the relationship they share is proof to me that they were siblings before they came to our house. they can simply look at each other and start laughing as if they have a secret joke that we are not priviledged to. they are busy as can be, they can make messes in no time flat and the squeals of delight make it all worth it.

In response

It appears that blog readers come in all forms and fashions. It seems touchy issues bring out a deeper side of ourselves, one that is quick to judge, defend or feels compelled to educate. I'm grateful for the comments that have been shared here. I'm grateful for the thoughts they have provoked.

I found when reading this particular post that some readers are particularly unkind. If you feel the desire to comment on this particular blog (and please do so) please make your best attempt to keep them respectful.

To Randi Sue: Thank you for your thoughts. I believe that the issues you brought up are completely valid and definitely something to think about. While working in a health care clinic in lower Manhattan, I saw first hand the heartache and pain that is possible when immersed in the homosexual culture. My clients dealt with health issues on a consistent basis due to the lifestyle they were living. Due to the tightness of the culture, death and illness revolving around STDs and AIDS seemed ever present. This combined with the criticism and discrimination makes it very hard for me to understand why one would think that lifestyle is chosen. It's not an easy one.

To those who seem concerned with my salvation: Please know that to the best of my knowledge, your God and my God are the same. I have a great relationship with Him and find comfort in the fact that He and I are on the same page. I have had the occasion to be a little at odds with the church organization now and then, but my understanding and testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ is one that is sure and unshakable. And is sacred to me.

To my dear friends who have had open minds and hearts as we mull over the issues this political season has brought to light, thank you. Thank you for the stimulating conversations and the ability and willingness to discuss topics you feel passionately about without placing being critical of those affected by the topic at hand. Thank you for caring about your families and their well-being and for the openness to see the potential for greatness our country holds. The judgment of close friends can be suffocating and the irony of it all baffling. To those of you who have been able to withhold judgment while expressing your opinion when interacting with myself and my husband, thank you.

wise words

president monson spoke at a stake conference last week in salt lake and uttered these words: I like them.

"If we don't try, then we don't do, and if we don't do than what are we here for?"

a reminder to me to not let fear of failure keep me from trying. I may not succeed every time, but my past failures are as much a part of me as my successes.

"Gay Marriage: A way out"

Alright Peeps, here it is... the solution. The solution. "The potential solution to such a divisive issue may not make the church happy, but it seems to have some merit." That's my dad speaking. He doesn't blog, but if he did, we'd get some great stuff. If this option were only possible then all my friends just might get along, and my husband and father just might see eye to eye, and my neighbors might not see us as raging liberals (cause we're really not...) Anyway, if either party could really make this happen then they'd have a few more supporters out there.
Thanks dad for the thought.

Just a little taste:

Liberal-minded Americans should like this proposed arrangement because everyone
gets treated the same, and the state deprives no one of his or her rights based
upon sexual orientation. If a gay couple is denied the right to marry, it would
only be because their religious community denied it, in which case they could
turn to a church or synagogue that would consecrate their marriage.

Conservatives should like the arrangement because religious institutions will
not be forced to recognize relationships that they feel are contrary to the
teachings of scripture. Nor will they be forced to call something "marriage"
that to them plainly isn't. At the same time, the proliferation of domestic
partnerships would create more familial and financial stability.

enjoy the read.

Weighing In

Seneca had her 15 month check up today. After her turn on the scale, everyone thought they needed a turn...

This boy is 14 pounds (7 months)

This girl is 20 pounds (15 months)

This one is a whopping 35 pounds (3 years... but oh so close to 4)

And the mama in this picture is the sum total of all of her children's weights plus 37 more... don't think to hard. We won't talk about how long after giving birth it took to fit comfortable into the "good" jeans.

We should note for the record that Dad missed the weigh-in, but has dropped 14 pounds in the last month. At what point do we switch our focus to putting it on to taking it off??

"Give the children whole milk, they need the fat." If only that could be said our whole lives.

a bit of politics. just a bit.

I had a conversation today with a friend who is having a love affair with Sarah Palin. It's not hard to understand as they both are small town, pagent queens who are passionate about... stuff. It may not be the same stuff I'm passionate about, but passion is to be admired just the same. Even though the conversation took place over the phone, I think she could hear me roll my eyes. The following piece, credit to Patria, is good. Made me smile and nod my head good. Read and either laugh or fume. Kari, fume softly as to not give Ty another reason to think you're more in love with this woman than you are with him.

I like John McCain. I really do. He's a likeable guy with a compelling story. The trouble is that on the two major issues at hand, the economy and this lovely war, he's on the same page as GW. That means more of the last eight years and my friends, I don't want more of the same. Clinton had the lowest number on welfare rolls in a very long time and all that work has been completely erased... back to square one. Unemployment is way too high (my technical term). Obama isn't perfect, but I think he sees this economic struggle for what it is rather than denying that there is an issue. How can you have the market fluctuate like it has this week and say that everything is fine? McCain said that. Really. You can be enlighted here. There's more to discuss on this topic, but that's all for now.

a conversation about money

Cooper finds car wash tokens in the car.

C: Mom, can I hold the money?

A: Get buckled first, please.

C: now can I hold the money?

A: money is really dirty, bud. it has lots of germs on it.

C: Well, I want my germs on ALL the money.

me too, kid. me too.

A: What do we do with money coop?

C: pay tiving. (that's tithing to those of you who don't speak coop)

A: what does heavenly father do with our tithing?

C: we give heavenly father one penny.

A: and what does he do with it?

C: he sells it.

heaven has an interesting monetary exhange program.

tissue, anyone?

Today I'm grateful that we got home before the storm hit. The wet, sticky storm that is being persistent in two babes. runny noses and so much drool I step in wet spots as I walk across my family room. a combo of teething and colds... it's seriously like a faucet around here that I can't turn off. It will run its course and things will dry up around here eventually, but I'm certainly glad we're going through a zillion tissues at home instead of on the go. I wish this was the kind of miserable that made them sleep long and soundly, but alas it's just the opposite. it's hard to stay asleep with you're a sticky mess that can't breathe. ah, the joys of parenthood. again, grateful for a washing machine and for bathtubs and a patient big brother. and for a husband who went shopping before we came home so I haven't had to trek to the store with my little puddles.

Grateful

Today I'm grateful for:

• a fantastic vacation with family
• that my children have involved grandparents who have a vested interest in their happiness and well-being
• for a husband. a really really good one.
• angels on the airplane, both seen and unseen
• escort passes at the airport, and grandma. those things are lifesavers!
• the opportunity to step away from reality long enough to gain new perspective
• healthy, independent children
• senenca's new-found singing voice
• cooper's continued understanding and helpfulness
• beckham's jolly kicks
• new teeth in two little mouths.
• the abundance of stuff in this house... and the opportunity to get rid of some of it!
• the fact that we are fully clothed every day and the washer and dryer that keep it that way
• my testimony of prayer and of my Father in Heaven. I honestly don't know how people go through a day without Him.
• new projects to embark on
• Home.

Sweetrolls and Tears

Yesterday we made these, recipe courtesy of Emily. They look good, don't they? They taste even better.

This trip to McCall has been different than those in the past. Mom and dad feel the need to work all the time, always cleaning up and finding places for things. I suppose owning the place means they can't just sit down and relax. Hope that changes or what's the point of it all, really? It's different this time because I usually have my siblings with me. I've missed them. I've missed my husband. A lot. I am an independent enough mother that I'm comfortable travelling with my children sans spouse, but it always makes me grateful that I have him as a partner in this life experience I'm going through.

Last night as I was laying with my Cooper, he started crying. It had been a long day. A fun one filled with hours at the beach. Uncle Ben and two of his friends have joined us and Cooper loved following them around, helping them with their projects and having them build him magnificent sand castles. He was thoroughly exhausted, barely able to keep his eyes open as we talked in the darkness. As I held his little body on the bottom bunk, I heard a quiet, "I miss dad." Well, that did it. Tears filled my eyes too as we both lay there missing dad.

I told Dent a few days ago that I was cold. That it wasn't quite the same this time. He told me to stop complaining and enjoy it here. I'm not complaining. I have enjoyed it, but sometimes it's ok for vacations to come to an end, especially when Dad is waiting for us at home.

Being away from reality gives one a new perspective on that reality. There are aspects of mine that I'm not anxious to return to. That thought made me wonder why I need to. If I don't like things the way they are at home, then why not change them? I need my daily routine to change a little, there are things I'd like to incorporate into my days that I haven't been and I hope that I can keep this big picture with me and not slip into the same old patterns when we return home. Time away reveals what I'd like life to be like when I return. I'm ready for some changes.

But for now I'll cook with my mom in this fabulous kitchen, cuddle with my sweet babies and watch my dad water-ski. And postpone reality for one more day. And eat these.

A day at the lake

Yes, I've taken a million pictures, but rather than spending tons of time on the computer sorting and editing, you're getting a few favorites that show what we've been up to. Let's just preface this bunch with saying that it's only 65 degrees outside which makes the water "damn cold." That's a very precise measurement from the only guy who dares get in on a daily basis. As you can see, both kids jumped in willingly and then quickly second-guessed that decision. Coop has been good for one jump a day, but don't try to get him to repeat it! Senny is happy as a clam to simply wander around the boat, dock and beach checking everything out. And as you can see, Beckham is still a chubby happy little man. This is grandma's taxi... she must love me a lot to let me drive!

The Gardens and a little hike

We found a few great spots today. The first is a garden that has been there for ages. My mom said she used to take me there when I was little, but I don't remember it. It is so beautiful, full of gorgeous colorful flowers and lots of bridges, streams and little paths for the kids to explore. The second was a little hike that led up to a hidden lake... it was about 30 minutes round trip, perfect for the kiddos and so pretty. It was nice to have a few activities away from the lake considering that 65 degrees is just too cold for me to enjoy for very long without a jacket on!

McCall Retreat

I have been coming to McCall almost every year since I was about 3. Most of the time it has been a week in the summer, but there have been a few winter trips and this is where Denten and I spent our honeymoon. This place has memories around every turn. My parents started out renting the Belnap's tiny little cabin on the lake. They upgraded to renting the Full House on Shady Beach, one that was big enough for us to bring another family with us or some friends. Once this was unavailable, we found Obenchain's... it was a great house right on the water that accomodated our growing family nicely. Through all of these trips to McCall, my parents have talked about having a place of their own and have owned various pieces of property. The time finally arrived to start building... after three years of construction, it's finally finished! Well, almost finished. Finished enough to enjoy. Brad, Mel, Mom and Dad... it's fabulous, thanks for sharing this incredible place with us!

(Kimber, pics, just for you!)

kitchen

great room, sitting area


great room (if you look closely, you'll see Pete)


TV area

the pic is dark, but here is Pete, reigning over his new domain. My personal opinion is that Pete is very happy here in his new home. He fits in this enormous place sooooo much better than in our home. I love him enough to sacrifice seeing him every day so he can live here. Look at the place... wouldn't you want to live here?!

entry way

front of house

here is a pic of grandma's taxi. this little four-wheel vehicle motors grandma and the kids down to the beach and back.

front porch (grandma is working on getting her wreath hung. triple thick doors provide a little challenge for her!)

side yard for kids to play outside

back view

Seriously, the only thing missing up here is our dad! And auntie kate, uncle wade, tessa, aunt linny and uncle ben. They would be fun too. Today my mom did my laundry again and watched my kids... I told her that I just might move right in if she kept that up. She said it was a deal as long as I did the cooking. Can anyone blame me for not really wanting to go home yet?

After more than 25 years of enjoying this beautiful place, memories include my dad's bribes to water-ski, bracing myself for the freezing cold water, sunny afternoons with a book on the dock, daily trips to ice cream alley, being thrown from the tube behind the boat, hiking at Brundage, jughandle bush-whacking adventures, katelyn's short-lived obsession with jet-ski rental guy's god-like body, summer adventures with the locals, hotel mccall, biking around the lake and dinners at every place in town. I love that my children will have the opportunity to make their own memories up here as the tradition of McCall vacations continues.

How to Survive...

as a single parent in McCall:

1. make sure grandpa is fully established as a very cool guy before ever leaving home. I'm pretty sure his new toy wins him the title.

2. Make sure wetsuits fit.

3. And life jackets. That fully squish their faces.


4. Be prepared with milk at all times. Especially when out on the lake at feeding time.

5. Again, make sure cheeks are easily accessible at all times.

6. Provide plenty of sand for throwing, dumping on your own head and the occasionally tasting.

7. Keep this child close. He's good for a smile all the time.

8. Sand toys and endless hours on the beach.

9. Just give it to her. Whatever it is, she's gotta have it and she's gotta have it now.

10. At the end of the day, put the babies to bed and make cookies for heaven's sake!

We miss you dad!