proof they're a pair

she sits on her potty to do her thing. he sits with her. sometimes he takes a turn when she's done. we could say he's great moral support or we could be honest and say that he knows he can weasel a treat out of mom when seneca gets hers for doing her thing. reading material optional. these two have spent quite a bit of time conversing together in the bathroom the last few days.

New Focus

In 2008, gratitude was my focus.

In 2009, I worked on creating.

It's almost 2010. Holy cow. Didn't we used to think that was so in the future?? Yeah, well, here it is. This is the week to prepare to kick it off right. I love this week after Christmas. Time to clean and clear and get ready for new. Time to evaluate the past year and decide what changes need to be made to make next year better. Better for us, better for our families, better for our relationships.

I've got a word working its way around in my head. It's controversial, but I think it's the right one. I'll give it a few more days just to be sure.

What's your new focus? What do you want to do better, how do you want to be better? Where are you headed and what will help you get there? How would changing your mindset bring you more abundance? If only we could have this discussion in person, one great big meeting of the minds... man, it would be brilliant! And it would be fun, 'cause there would be treats.

Have a great week contemplating that looming changing of the decade thing comin' at us. It's gonna be fun!

this girl of mine.

Seneca has been wearing big girl panties for three days. There have only been two accidents in the last two days, it's awesome! When she needs to go, her eyes get big, she gasps and says, "oh! I better go in the potty!" yes, you better! and then we run. it's pretty fun, actually, to see how excited she gets about it. most of the time Beckham is right there too, racing to the potty and cheering because when she gets potty treats, he does too! I'm completely grateful that this is proving to be an easy process and that she's proud of herself. Actually, she tells me that she's proud of me... "mom, I so proud of you a going potty!" thank you, senny. I must say that there is nothing more darling that her little buns racing for the bathroom in little dora underwear.

Family Home Evening tonight consisted of teaching that everyone is a Child of God. We looked at a few pictures of children and talked about how they were each children of God. Then we looked at the kids' pictures on the wall. Is Cooper a child of God, yes! Is Seneca a child of God? yes! and Beckham is too. And mommy and daddy. That one was harder... adults can be children of God as well. Tonight when singing Seneca's set before bed, I asked Seneca if daddy was a child of God. her response? "no, Daddy's an Ironman!!" It was hilarious. He has trained her well!




this is a cropped image of Senny during a family photo shoot. you don't have to use very much imagination to determine how the rest of the photos turned out! a mind of her own, for sure!

a debut appearance... at the bowling ally.

we've never been bowling before, all of us together. we took the opportunity saturday evening to remedy that situation. it was a good time! the first five or six frames were rather entertaining. during the last part of the game, popcorn held attention much more than bowling, but we had fun!!



seneca manned the buttons. all night. her post. don't mess with it.



beckham didn't care whose turn it was, he was riveted watching the ball roll down the lane waiting with great suspense until it knocked pins over and he could cheer about it.





wish I had a pic of seneca's celebration. she'd throw both hands up in the air and jump, so excited.



she also enjoyed the blower...



cooper had the best time of all. he just kept saying, "this is so fun!" he tried numerous methods of getting his ball down the lane and kept us all moving through our turns so he could go again.



strikes were obtained by yours truly, denten on his very last turn and beckham... go figure. cooper's been asking to back ever since. seems we'll have to do this again sometime!

christmas 2009

Having three children who show genuine emotion without holding back makes Christmas morning pretty fun. Having all their dreams come true is pure magic.

A few highlights:

* All Cooper wanted for Christmas was a bouncy ball with a handle on top (his words). Santa delivered and he was one happy kid. He also received a soccer net and has had his dad playing goalie while he gets around him.

note: my living room previously held a trampoline that has been relocated temporarily to the loft. it now holds a rowdy game of soccer. is this what living rooms were intended for??

* Seneca received a shopping cart and a scooter. Beckham got a new car to ride in and an enormous tonka dump truck. As is par for this house, they use each other's gifts as their own and scheme together to make the most of each item.

* We all got to talk to uncle Ben on Christmas day, singing him our latest songs and telling him about our Christmas. He is having an amazing experience serving the Lord in Portland. It was wonderful to hear that while he's growing and learning, he's still our Boogs.

* Denten made gnocchi and pasta sauce and the smell alone in my house was to die for, let alone the food. He makes magic in the kitchen, I love when he has the chance to cook.

* Santa was good to Dent and I too. It's a satisfying feeling to know that there isn't much that is wanted or needed, makes me feel very fortunate to be where I am right now.

* most treasured gift of the year: quilts that Gram made for each of my children. They love them and have requested they take the place of the previous blankets on their beds. It was a surprise for me that she had spent all year quilting for everyone, what a wonderful gift!

* We have wonderful grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that sent such thoughtful things for our family. It is so nice to see them unwrap gifts that will add to our home and that they will truly enjoy rather than more junky toys that I will secretly want to put in the garbage as soon as possible. It was a good year!



Hope yours was just as merry!

yes, dad. beckham's cars are all Porches. we're teaching him young to recognize quality.

the nap.

this is not a post about the naptime where denten found beckham diaperless having released his bladder while standing in his crib and hitting surfaces clear across his room.

it is not documenting the naptime in which seneca emptied her entire dresser and was found wearing three different dresses.

this is about MY nap. the one I dream about having because it doesn't happen anymore. Yesterday I retreated to my room after getting the little ones down. I told Denten they were all his for at least one hour, I was off duty. Usually my "naptime" consists of 20-30 minutes of me laying down, maybe reading, maybe attempting to actually sleep but it never really happening.

I made a very wise decision to turn on a humidifier that has an especially loud motor thus drowning out any noise outside my room. After a chapter in my book I closed my eyes. The most wonderful thing happened. I fell into the most fabulous slumber. The kind where I was dreaming clearly. The kind where after two hours I slipped into a fuzzy consciousness just enough to glance at the clock and be astounded at how much time had passed. The kind where my body felt weighted down at my four corners and despite very feeble efforts, could not move and fell back into a blissfully unaware state for another 30 minutes. The kind where I really felt as though I could just keep sleeping for a very long time.

I don't know if it was the humidifier hiding any and all little voices therefore being able to really sleep or the fact that I was truly beyond exhausted, but it was heavenly. So much so that I tried it again today after church. It wasn't quite the out-of-body experience it was yesterday, but it was close. I suppose I should consider myself recharged for a new week and thank my lucky stars. and my husband. Man, I love weekends.

Merry Christmas, Lovies!

Hope yours is completely magical.

Here's to enjoying a little peace with your chaos today.

Love, me.

possible titles for this post:

He will most likely dislike me very much one day.

Honey, don't be mad.

He still likes his trucks.

Big sisters have great influence.





need a run-down? that would be a very loved, used and smooshed tutu, about 4 pair of girls panties and mom's shoes.

what I did.

today:

I complimented at least twenty-nine different wedgit towers, each one being significantly cooler than the last.

I laughed while denten wondered who in the world the people were in half of our Christmas cards.

I listened to Handel's Messiah.

I laid on the floor and played happy trains.

I went through our budget and moved what needed to be moved to be balanced and ready for next year.

I played Christmas songs at my piano while my children sang and danced around.

I had a nap.

I laid out lavish dreams about my future to my husband in various emails. He was quite agreeable.

I listened to little voices ask for a "cookie" about 78 times.

I wished that I had more toffee from Sara because, man, that stuff was good.

I played "this little piggy" about 57 times on the most darling little toes.

I had an incredibly intelligent discussion with Seneca regarding the logistics of wearing underwear. We'll see if it had any impact this weekend.


I loved that we had no where to rush off to today.

I remember.

I remember that when I was sixteen, Christmas was different. Rather than an abundance of presents waiting for us on Christmas morning, my parents took the opportunity to create a window for my sisters and I. We left our comfortable home to visit the Philippines where my grandparents were serving in the church. Instead of buying for each other, we purchased things to take to children there who would not be having Christmas.

It may sound a bit dramatic to say that this particular experience changed me, especially at age sixteen, but it's honest and fair to say that it left a lasting impression. There are pictures, snapshots in my mind that are as vivid today as they were 20 years ago.

I remember the mall. It was huge and had American music playing. I was grasping for familiar and pop music coming through the speakers did the trick. I remember the singing cooks and waiters restaurant. I loved it so much my grandpa bought the CD for me. I remember playing it a lot after we got home.

I remember visiting an area where rows of shacks were lined up near a dirty water source. I remember walking through some of these "homes" and trying so hard to have it register that this is where people lived. Dirt floors, scrap lumber propped up and old sheets hung to serve as walls. There was no electricity or plumbing. I remember wishing we had more to give them.

I remember wearing my long crinkly skirt. It was very cool at the time, with my blue ribbed short-sleeved sweater and new sandals. I remember frizzy humidity-hair. I remember mom not feeling well. I remember grandma showing us how she washed all of her produce in bleach.

I remember smokey mountain. It was an enormous local dump. I remember breathing through my mouth into my shirt because the smell was that of rotten fruit magnified a million times. As we drove through, there were children outside my van window digging through mountains of garbage for something to eat or something worth selling. I remember how dirty they were and yet when I looked into their eyes, how human they were. They swarmed around the van trying to get a piece of candy. I remember it being dangerous to drive, there were so many people around our vehicle. I could not grasp that this is how these families lived, digging for food in the garbage that others had discarded.

I remember feeling carsick when travelling in the church van because of the smells the permeated the city.

I remember standing on the balcony of grandma and grandpa's flat in Manila on new year's eve looking over the smokey city, listening to cracks of either fireworks or gun fire, I don't know which. I remember playing Christmas carols around the piano and singing with dark-faced visitors listening.

I remember the following year, looking at our Christmas tree, piled high with presents and having conflict inside me as I was anxious to see what was inside each package with my name on it and ashamed that there was so much there when remembering how little some had.

I can not say that that particular vacation was incredibly fun or relaxing or what I typically think of when using the term "vacation," and most of the things I remember are accompanied with varying levels of discomfort. I can say that I'm grateful for the window this experience created for me, one to view the world through. A window that allowed me to see that not everyone lived like me, not everyone was as blessed as I was. I'm grateful that while I slip into mild entitlement now and then that I still have that window.

I hope to somehow create a similar window for my children, one through which they can see that not everyone is like them, one that will allow love and gratitude to seep into their hearts for people that look different and posses different things. I'm positive that that window is one of the greatest gifts my parents have ever given me.

a few thoughts

unrelated to being sick or christmas:

answer this: wouuld you have a problem with your child's teacher taking her class to Hooter's during the course of a school field trip?

- the class is made up of 11 and 12-year-olds.
- no, it's not an adult burlesque club, no, you don't have to be 18 to enter.
- she claims there was not another place available to go and feed a group that size.
- she has been suspended from her position.

thoughts on this?? would you support her being suspended, or are you wondering what the bid deal is?

answer this: do you use soap or body wash in the shower?

new look and a quick trip

If there were a feasible way to reach in and extract my entire flaming esophagus without causing any more pain than is currently being endured, I probably wouldn't think twice about it. Talking is overrated, right? It's actually proving to be quite effective around my home. I can only whisper and even that hurts, so my family is having to listen very carefully to me. I have a not-so-secret tendency to talk too much, especially when it comes to disciplining my children. Seems less talk, more action is way more effective!

So while the infection swirls around in my head, throwing a party that it currently has full reign, let's move onto other things... like this:



it's just different enough that it took denten a few days to quit looking at me funny. but look: he still loves me when I put my hat on!



santa fe was a quick, low-key getaway. the trip reaffirmed my gratitude for d's job and that it's a great one. the firm is composed of amazing people who I am so glad we get to associate with. lazy mornings, wandering through galleries, shopping for darling things to take home to our kids... it was lovely. I must savor the moments seeing as denten won't touch me when I've got germies floating all around me. can't blame him, but I wish they would go away!

taking a moment...

In my current state with all of the achiness, head pressure and fire in my throat, with the persistent whining, endless lists and when I'd rather be in my bed than virtually anywhere else, I could see how easy it would be to spiral quickly into the very depths of losing my mind. I needed a moment to remember that it could be a whole lot worse.

I'm very grateful for Lindsay on several levels, one being that she somehow found time to do my laundry while she was here. I have needed the things she washed the last few days and have lacked the foresight, energy or motivation to do it. I'm so glad it's done and has made things easy for me.

I'm grateful for a clean kitchen, ready to be dirtied by one of several upcoming messes.

I'm grateful for an early morning grocery run. It was complete torture pulling my aching body from my warm sheets this morning, but I'm glad I found most of what I needed and I didn't have to take sick little people to the store with me.

I'm grateful for quiet, peaceful moments in the rocking chair with my very large baby.

I'm grateful for school projects that encourage me to be creative with my kids. Artistic creativity is not my speciality and therefore doesn't happen enough in our home, but it's so fun to see what can be created when let loose with paint, glue and various artsy paraphernalia.

I'm grateful that the ailments tormenting beckham's little body don't keep him from sleeping well.

I'm grateful that Coop and Senny understand the concept of "quiet play" and do so together so I can be productive while Bex sleeps.

I'm grateful for my social network. If I lived near my mother or mother-in-law, it would be weeks like this one where I would call on them. Save me! I've hit my limit! Instead, I have a fantastic web of people around me that I can call on for a huge variety of needs. I'm grateful I'm not alone.

I'm grateful for texting. Mock if you will, but I was able to coordinate an event involving 5 different parties at the last minute today without having to use my voice, which is in a sorry state of affairs.

I've got stuff to blog about, really I do. Just spent the weekend child-free in Santa Fe and my photog husband captured a pic of my new 'do. But for now, I'm basically trying to keep my head from exploding, literally. The pressure in there is unreal. Head colds are highly underestimated. If it weren't for energy work to keep this thing manageable, I'd be down and out for sure. Thing is, that moms don't get to be down and out! Especially when it's December and there are way more things to do than time to do them in!

The drizzle of unhealthy that was trickling through our house has upped its game. Coop is holding strong, Seneca is sporting an ugly cough, but poor little Beckham, well, he's got the worst of it. After a lousy week last week, he was looking forward to a weekend with his Auntie Linny. Instead of laughing his head off while she tickled the living daylights out of him, he was as hoarse as could be, as in pathetic, make-my-heart-break-when-he-said-"mommy,"-hoarse.

He and his daddy visited nighttime pediatrics last night and got priority over the others waiting due to the super high fever and bark-like cough. After multiple injections of multiple medications he finally came home with a smile on his face and a dual-diagnoses including croup and influenza A. Come on, already.


There are parties to plan and to host and to attend. There is major baking to do. And shopping. And wrapping. and virtually no time to simply sit and be sick, and yet, that's what we're doing. The little guy took three impressive naps today (no, I didn't get one) and it's a good thing because when he was awake, he was not his jolly self. I hope we're on the mend because if I haven't mentioned it already, we have no time to be sick!! I will, however, concede that one of the perks of a sick child is the cuddle factor. He fell asleep on me today in the rocking chair. I'm pretty sure that hasn't happened since he was a newborn. Love those moments.

When my head can handle looking at this here screen for more than 5 minutes without wanting to scream, I'll find pics, and updates, and real stuff to blog about. Until then, pray for my head, and beckham's lungs. oh, heck. pray for the whole lot of us. I'll pray for you back, I promise.

the Man in the Red Suit.

Last weekend my littles had the grand (or torturous) opportunity to meet Santa.

Cooper is over the fear and appreciates what the Man has to offer. He was excited and a little shy when his turn came. He was careful to whisper (at a distance) what he wanted for Christmas. Good thing his mother was present as that particular request had not yet been fulfilled. it has now.



Seneca is not shy. She does not, however, understand the significance of the Big Guy. She was happy to chat with him and pose for a photo. She does not know how to answer the question, "what do you want for Christmas?" I believe it's because she really doesn't care. She's just happy to be a part of it all. If only that could last forever.



Beckham, however, could be called wary. His little lip was on the verge of quivering and his eyes were very large. Skepticism at its highest. I kept telling him that it was ok and this was fun... he thought I was crazy, but it staved off the tears long enough for a photo.





We have a Christmas elf visiting our home for the month. He leaves a little surprise in our advent calendar each day and returns each night to report to Santa what he sees around here. Each morning when he comes back, he's in a different spot in our house. Sometimes he's great motivation for being on our best behavior! I pretty much love Santa to pieces. I believe Beckham will feel the same come Dec. 25.

a christmas tree story.

When I was growing up, a Christmas Tree was serious business. My mother was most adamantly against fake trees, thus we made our way as a family to a nearby commercial lot and picked a suitable tree for our living room. Achieving the desirable height was imperative, it needed to be free of any major holes, or at least have a very good "good" side. Dad sawed off the bottom, wrestled it into its stand and then we all looked on while he tried to get it straight. Once it was up and in place, his duties were complete.

It was then that mom took over. She was (and I believe still is) in charge of the lights. When I say serious business, I mean it. I'm not sure anyone was as meticulous as my mother when it came to getting lights on the tree. They were always white, much classier than those colored ones. She started at the top and made her way around, through and down the branches making sure the lights were evenly spaced and in their perfect places. I used to wonder if it took her hours to do this as we would arrive home from school and she'd just be finishing.

Once the lights were in place, we were allowed to assist with the ornaments. We never had a themed tree. We had a fantastic collection of ornaments, each possessing a wonderful memory that we relived each year as we hung them. They were unique and beautiful we loved pulling them out of the boxes finding our favorites. In true tree-decorating fashion, mom taught us that the smaller ornaments always hung near the top of the tree and the large ones near the bottom. Those of the same color never resided next to each other and we hid her least favorite ones around the side of the tree.

Our tree always looked fabulous. White lights made our whole living room glow. It was only natural that when I had a tree of my own that white lights and unique ornaments were the direction I steered. I have the inner urge now and then to go a more contemporary route and swallowed my jealousy when Katelyn got a very cool tree, but Denten is a traditional fellow and this time of year, tradition is not so bad. I must say that even with a few years of practice under my belt, my light job is nothing near my mothers. In fact, Denten volunteered to do it this year knowing that I wanted to do it but was stressing out about getting it just right. I was happy to hand off the job to him. However, attorney-work has been all-consuming lately and after a few days of a naked tree in our living room, Cooper demanded lights. He was a lovely assistant and I got the the job done.

And then rather than evenly spacing precious decoration around green branches, I sat down. I opened boxes and handed ornaments to my three little ones. They, and they alone, adorned our tree. The top half is very sparse, the bottom heavy laden with glass balls and ornaments. It made me fight against all that is natural in my soul to go rearrange them, putting the small ones at the top, highlighting my favorites front and center and making sure they were spaced well. I took deep breaths and did my best to relinquish my Christmas Control.




Seneca rearranges the display daily. Her favorites are my collection of handbags. Beckham explores the different textures of the ornaments and likes to see himself in the shiny ones. The large cluster of glass balls? That is Beckham's masterpiece. Cooper plays the part of the sheriff, making sure no one touches the tree... sometimes they listen to him and most of the time, not. He's old enough to remember favorites from last year and get excited to tell me where they came from.

The final product is all theirs. Except that they used my treasures to create it. I requested that Cooper put my New York ornaments up higher as one was shattered last year and nearly broke my heart.



It's not a traditional masterpiece, but it's Ours, created by Mine and the little white lights still make my living room glow.

moisturizing?

Butt paste is great for the skin regardless of which cheeks it is applied, to... yes??

a snapshot of seneca.

background part 1:
seneca went to bed at 7:00 as usual. we read, we prayed, we sang, she hugged and tickled her brother, she said good-night and I lub you. she said, "no monsters here, no spiders here, it's fine, mommy?" yes, it's fine. she is a creature of habit, probably of my own making. she knows the routine. part of the routine includes staying her her bed after she's been tucked in. she's having a little trouble with this part. if she gets out, she gets put back in her crib (which I lazily haven't taken down yet), it's such a bummer.

background part 2:
seneca and beckham are tag-team extraordinaire. I remember when people had sympathy for me having two babies close in age, but not exactly twins. I remember thinking that the baby part was easy... wait until they're both toddlers. we've arrived. they scheme together and when one chooses to be mischievous, then there's no question about whether the other will follow. just today I found them both hiding under the kitchen table eating peanut m&ms as fast as they could before they got caught. later they were both in the flour bucket making a beautiful mess just after bathtime. they have discovered that they are able to undress themselves and think it's hilarious to take off their pants and run around in their diapers. I tell them several times a day, "go find your pants. put on your pants. we need to keep our pants on. you're welcome to eat in my kitchen if you have pants on."

tonight:
denten gets home about 8:00. he takes cooper up to brush teeth and get in bed. he finds seneca peeking out of her door. with no pants on. with no diaper on. with her jammie shirt and her sunday shoes on. smiling hugely, "hi, daddy!" she's something else, I tell ya.

recording.

I want to remember:

Cooper is learning Christmas songs. The latest version:
"You better watch out, you better not cry. You better not pout, I'm telling you why.. Cooper is coming to town!" I laughed and asked him if he was bringing me a present. He quickly went and hid my slippers in his shirt and brought them to me, singing again. We are doing Christmas for a secret someone and all we really know about him is that he is a dad. Cooper's input on a gift included new tools, a bike, a watch or a new car. He's also brainstorming what he's going to give Seneca and Beckham for Christmas. The discussion is ongoing and changes hourly.

Seneca has been waking up at night and when she does, she requests that we go sit in the rocking chair together. I have had mixed feelings about it because I'm not going to let her think that we're taking a field trip every time she wakes up, but I love that she'll just sit and cuddle with me. Sometimes she'll request a song, sometimes she wants to pray again, but mostly we just sit and rock and man, I love her. She is a verbal little girl, call her on the phone and you'll see. She'll give you the run-down on just about anything. I think she's beautiful and I wonder if I would think that if she were not my own daughter. You know how parents always think their own kids are always cute? I'm grateful that despite the fact that she didn't grow in me, it is nothing but natural for me to love her as if she did.

Beckham is trying so hard to be big. He does his very best to keep up with his older siblings in every aspect. He and Seneca are quite the team, communicating flawlessly with each other. Most of the time I understand what they are saying to each other, but even when I don't, they get it completely. When I'm driving, Bex will try very hard to dictate which direction I go each time I approach an intersection. If I happen to go a different direction than the one his little finger is pointing to and his "iss way, mom!" well then, look out. He can throw an impressive fit when not getting his way. Sometimes I wonder where I would end up if I really went the way he wanted every time. He's the best eater in the house and can pack it away. He screams loudly and he gives awesome kisses. He has big brown flirty eyes that make you work for his affection and I'm a sucker. And he's still competing for best cheeks ever.

Gratitude month may be over, but it did its job. I'm noticing things throughout my days that I'm grateful for. even when these little ones drive me crazy, I'm grateful that I can enjoy being their mother.